Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a very good horror haiku you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. It is so sad but very true for many children! Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016

Unfortunately, you're right, Teri.

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

As one who was abused and saw abuse in my home as a child, this sent chills up my spine. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Patricia

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016

I don't think I could write it if it happened to me.

Comment from Mary Wakeford

Excellent

So dark and disturbing, but you clearly nailed the assignment, Shari, on this 5-7-5 horror writing prompt.

This happens so often that one wonders what kind of depravity creates that culture...likely history repeating itself over generations.

Well done!

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016

I wonder if it's in the DNA. Scary thought. Thanks for you input, Mary.

Comment from Ella25

Excellent

It is sad to see it. Well said, and right. How many horror stories will be witnessed like that? A message sent to the world for this is wrong what is going on in the life of an innocent and a precious one. Short words of fact with the image to support that. Well-done, my dear. Love, Ella

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016

What's worse is the lesson of violence the parent is sending the child. Thanks for the well-done review.

reply by Ella25 on 21-Dec-2016

You are welcome. That innocent one will think the punishment and violence are the normal forms of love while the child shall be taught love and kindness. Ella

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

A chilling glimpse of horror, all the more appalling because such things happen all too often. Your juxtaposition of teddy bear with depraved drunkenness makes the fact of destroyed childhood all the more intense in this poem.

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 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016

Thanks, Tony, for noting what works. Guess I have some poetry skills. :-)

Comment from TheWriteTeach

Excellent

Shari,
This is a real horror story, and unfortunately, it happens all too often. This really sends a message, and is very moving, as well. I want to slap that father silly.

One thing - I think you have a typo. You wrote 'depaved' rather than 'depraved.'

Nice job with this. Good luck in the contest. :o)

Suzanne

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 Comment Written 20-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016

Thanks for checking it out. That word was a last minute change. Typos happen when I do that.
Love ya,
Shari

reply by TheWriteTeach on 20-Dec-2016

We always need an extra pair of eyes to pick up what we miss.