Twisted Brain
Do you know where your child is now?26 total reviews
Comment from pharp
Your have captured what many children have and is still going through in homes all over the world. Your title Twisted Brain is appropriate for this 5-7-5 entry. Outstanding job in conveying this horrific ordeal which occur to many children. The very best to you in the contest. Blessings.........Portia
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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Your have captured what many children have and is still going through in homes all over the world. Your title Twisted Brain is appropriate for this 5-7-5 entry. Outstanding job in conveying this horrific ordeal which occur to many children. The very best to you in the contest. Blessings.........Portia
Comment Written 21-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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Thanks for the good wishes, Portia (loved the name-one of Shakespeare's characters I believe. ) I shudder to think how little ones can't defend themselves.
Comment from closetpoetjester
Shari, this is a both horrible and horrific ordeal for a child and appropriately in the Horror genre.
My children have NEVER seen my husband raise a hand to me because I have never had a hand raised to me in 26 years I am so very proud to say. He is a wonderful husband and father and there should be more like him.
More and more children are coming from disjointed families or from a background of family violence. The latter is a huge contribution to family breakdown and worse. The child is traumatised for life. Tragic and sad...thanks for giving the victims a platform. Well written. Merry Xmas
Hugs P
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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Shari, this is a both horrible and horrific ordeal for a child and appropriately in the Horror genre.
My children have NEVER seen my husband raise a hand to me because I have never had a hand raised to me in 26 years I am so very proud to say. He is a wonderful husband and father and there should be more like him.
More and more children are coming from disjointed families or from a background of family violence. The latter is a huge contribution to family breakdown and worse. The child is traumatised for life. Tragic and sad...thanks for giving the victims a platform. Well written. Merry Xmas
Hugs P
Comment Written 21-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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I'm one of the lucky ones too, Philippa. Your input explains the upswing in violence these days.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written 5-7-5 horror poem. Sometimes our children are in big danger at their own homes without anyone suspecting anything until it is too late.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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A very well-written 5-7-5 horror poem. Sometimes our children are in big danger at their own homes without anyone suspecting anything until it is too late.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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Teachers are given a class to make them more aware that something might be happening at home. If they know of abuse and don't report it, they can be arrested. That's the best society has done so far. Social workers aren't getting it.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello,
The horrors of real life sometimes are more horrifying than fiction. In the case of child abuse there is no doubt in my mind that is true horror. Good job and good luck, my friend.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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Hello,
The horrors of real life sometimes are more horrifying than fiction. In the case of child abuse there is no doubt in my mind that is true horror. Good job and good luck, my friend.
Gypsy
Comment Written 21-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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Thanks, Gypsy. That's why I chose to skip the supernatural element.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
How awful! I usually do not read these 575 shorties, but I'm all caught up and thought I'd take a look, sicne you wrote it. Poor little kid, victim of a drunken father who should be in jail. Makes me want to tie him up and pummel him for days, letting him die slowly. Jail is too good for these monsters!
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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How awful! I usually do not read these 575 shorties, but I'm all caught up and thought I'd take a look, sicne you wrote it. Poor little kid, victim of a drunken father who should be in jail. Makes me want to tie him up and pummel him for days, letting him die slowly. Jail is too good for these monsters!
Comment Written 21-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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I'm flattered by your attention, Phyllis, and double so for the sixer. Prisoners hate pedophiles. Trust me, they would torture him.
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Even more reason to get them into jail!
Comment from boxergirl
Twisted brain is certainly an accurate title for this horror poem. Different tone for you but the message fits the horror genre. Nice alliteration and rhyming.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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Twisted brain is certainly an accurate title for this horror poem. Different tone for you but the message fits the horror genre. Nice alliteration and rhyming.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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Thanks heaps for the exceptional review, BG, and for noting the poetic devices. It would creep me out to write violent scenes.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Oh, this is a real, honest-to-goodness, all too real horror that will certainly hit home here with many readers, Shari.
At least based on some of the autobiographical stories I've read by some members at FanStory.
Best of luck to you in the contest!
~Dean
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Oh, this is a real, honest-to-goodness, all too real horror that will certainly hit home here with many readers, Shari.
At least based on some of the autobiographical stories I've read by some members at FanStory.
Best of luck to you in the contest!
~Dean
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Thanks, Dean. I fear it's too real to win. It's fun to read horror if you know it's supernatural.
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Yeah, but you never know how these things are gonna play out, Shari. Sometimes the tallies take you by surprise.
~Dean
Comment from maggieadams
Oh, my God...I have trouble with this abuse, but I guess, I cannot hide my head in the sand...it does occur...not great at reviewing short poems, but there is good use of alliteration and the message is loud and clear.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Oh, my God...I have trouble with this abuse, but I guess, I cannot hide my head in the sand...it does occur...not great at reviewing short poems, but there is good use of alliteration and the message is loud and clear.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Thanks, Maggie. It's the worst thing I could think of.
Comment from judiverse
That certainly is a horror topic. It is so sad when parents abuse their children. Being an alcoholic is no excuse, either. They need to get help. As you write, these children can be maimed when they're abused, and it can have a lifetime effect. You've followed the 5-7-5 guidelines and have a topic that describes a real nightmare in some families. judi
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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That certainly is a horror topic. It is so sad when parents abuse their children. Being an alcoholic is no excuse, either. They need to get help. As you write, these children can be maimed when they're abused, and it can have a lifetime effect. You've followed the 5-7-5 guidelines and have a topic that describes a real nightmare in some families. judi
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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The fantasy story is easier on the mind, though.
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This is a real situation, which makes it much scarier than fantasy. judi
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi Spifire,
what a powerful poem. Your introduction to the poem was chilling on its own. How many parents know where their children are when this is happening to the.
The picture is sickening but it fits your poem perfectly.
Bless you.
Brenda:))x
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Hi Spifire,
what a powerful poem. Your introduction to the poem was chilling on its own. How many parents know where their children are when this is happening to the.
The picture is sickening but it fits your poem perfectly.
Bless you.
Brenda:))x
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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Thanks, Brenda, for the R & R. Reality is so much worse than supernatural stories.
