Reviews from

Perennials of War

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Chapter Three part Eine"
Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan

33 total reviews 
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
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My goodness, there seems t be a lot of interest in what Anderson is doing. He is right to be cautious and increase security. You continue to do a great job with this and add to the suspense with each chapter.

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
    Thank you for the kind review. I always enjoy hearing from you.
Comment from Eka
Excellent
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I really like this.
My only observation? Anderson doesn't think the painting is worth much and Phillip tells him it's worth at least $39 and we don't hear as much as a gasp or wide eyed surprise? Reading it, I was like 'Wow' but Anderson just plows on. I would have liked to 'see' his reaction.
Otherwise, smooth narrative. Thanks, Barbara

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
    I will check this out. Thank you for bringing it my attention.
Comment from CEO2020
Excellent
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Your writing is superb and your storytelling is without question. You are visionary and detailed oriented. That skill clearly shows throughout this chapter.

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
    Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from mbroyles2
Excellent
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Quite a bit of suspense building here.
Very suspicious activities going on at the park, and very nosey questions.
They are all taking an interest in Shana.
Nice stuff.
Michael

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
    Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
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Anderson err on the side of caution, that shows a keen mind. Those are some well trained dogs, better than most people I know. A well written chapter with just enough mystery to get us.

Well done.

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
    When my four boys were young we had a yellow Labrador. She was a perfect dog. My husband and career military and we would travel with her. I often said, I would rather travel with her than the boys. LOL. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
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I would think that $39 to $135 million would be more than plenty enough to cause bad guys to come out of every crack and crevasse, which it apparently has. Thanks for sharing another great chapter. :-)

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
    Thank you for the kind review. I have some bad stuff planned and I am not sure money is enough motive.
Comment from giraffmang
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Hi Barbara,

Some nice unravelling here on Anderson. I like the drip feed on a character, keeps the reader wondering.

"You mean lobbyist?" Ben paused - should this be plural?

"Today, I we'll go to Central Park for a run - delete I from here.

Nice addition.
G

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
    I changed the second sentence at the last minute and left the I there. Thank you for catching it. I have made the changes.
Comment from dweigt
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Another great chapter. You are gradually raising the tension here as the bad guys are obviously getting more interested.

A few minor points:

Drew's addressing congress -- capitalize Congress.

law abiding -- usually hyphenated -- law-abiding

You refer to the billionaire as both Drew and Anderson in the narrative. I understand that he uses both names, and it is fine if other characters use both names, but your narrative voice should be consistent and use the same name throughout.

What happens next? Keep writing!

 Comment Written 18-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
    I have made the corrections. Thank you and I will correct the name issue, too. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Excellent
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This is a short post so I read it twice once to get the story which is very good, and again to look for spags, of which none were found. A very good read.

 Comment Written 18-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
    Thank you for taking time to read my work. I appreciate it.
Comment from Sankey
Excellent
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Another good chapter. Still your same curiosity building style. Keep up the good work. Noticing the doggies have come over from the old story hehe. Only one little omission this time around."Today, I (think)we'll go to Central Park

 Comment Written 18-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
    Thank you for the kind review.