Christmas Lost and Found
The most careful plans don't always work out.16 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
Christmas time has been for hundreds of years a time of magic. Starting with The pre-Christian folk tales of Green Men and Snbow kings, on to the story of the birth in the stable and every tale of magical goings on since then. This is a modern tale involving Plymouth sedans and city by-passes but at its core is as a magical story of love between humans as any of those that have preceded it. I wish it well in this contest.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016
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Christmas time has been for hundreds of years a time of magic. Starting with The pre-Christian folk tales of Green Men and Snbow kings, on to the story of the birth in the stable and every tale of magical goings on since then. This is a modern tale involving Plymouth sedans and city by-passes but at its core is as a magical story of love between humans as any of those that have preceded it. I wish it well in this contest.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016
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Thank you for your encouragement. I always look forward to your opinion.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Mary. This is an excellent Christmas story. and particularly good entry in the contest. You have striking images sprinkled throughout your plot that held my interest tot the end, like:
"Mrs. Murphy came to the door. Her short plump frame was swaddled in an apron that sent out puffs of flour when she moved."
And: "The fire was dead in the fireplace with only a stray ember competing with the sunlight that fought its way in through tightly closed blinds. His suitcase, with the last of his clothes from the house, stood by the door.
Your pacing of the narrative is superb and I throughly enjoyed this piece.
Good luck to you oin the contest. My only wish is that I had a six star to give you for this gem. Blessings and Happy Holidays. Bob
Suggestions: "and Ant Nellie and Uncle Denney live with us too."
(Did you intentionally mis spell "ant" instead of Aunt? If so, it wasn't really necessary to achieve the child's speech.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016
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Hi, Mary. This is an excellent Christmas story. and particularly good entry in the contest. You have striking images sprinkled throughout your plot that held my interest tot the end, like:
"Mrs. Murphy came to the door. Her short plump frame was swaddled in an apron that sent out puffs of flour when she moved."
And: "The fire was dead in the fireplace with only a stray ember competing with the sunlight that fought its way in through tightly closed blinds. His suitcase, with the last of his clothes from the house, stood by the door.
Your pacing of the narrative is superb and I throughly enjoyed this piece.
Good luck to you oin the contest. My only wish is that I had a six star to give you for this gem. Blessings and Happy Holidays. Bob
Suggestions: "and Ant Nellie and Uncle Denney live with us too."
(Did you intentionally mis spell "ant" instead of Aunt? If so, it wasn't really necessary to achieve the child's speech.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016
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Thank you for such encouragement.
Comment from mbroyles2
This is an amazing story.
I love the setting as John relives his life and remembers his mother and wife.
Great descriptions and even a little suspense as we don't really know how John is going to react to losing his home.
Excellent writing!
Michael
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016
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This is an amazing story.
I love the setting as John relives his life and remembers his mother and wife.
Great descriptions and even a little suspense as we don't really know how John is going to react to losing his home.
Excellent writing!
Michael
Comment Written 17-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016
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Thank you for the encouragement and for the extra star.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Touching story. Sad that they couldn't have kids. He's more lonely now without them and the grandchildren he would have had. Nothing sadder than an old person living his/her last days alone. He accepted it and dealt with it and found a way to be content. Making the best of what life brings is the only way to find some happiness.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016
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Touching story. Sad that they couldn't have kids. He's more lonely now without them and the grandchildren he would have had. Nothing sadder than an old person living his/her last days alone. He accepted it and dealt with it and found a way to be content. Making the best of what life brings is the only way to find some happiness.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016
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Thank you for your understanding.
Comment from winnona
A well-written contest entry. Your story flowed well from beginning to end. The words flowed easily and with the added detail and realistic characters it came to life as I read it. Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016
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A well-written contest entry. Your story flowed well from beginning to end. The words flowed easily and with the added detail and realistic characters it came to life as I read it. Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016
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Thank you for your positive comments.
Comment from Heidi M
What a lovely, nostalgic story.
Great descriptions throughout.
Nice imagery when his life was compared to an English garden
shuffled backward to the cou(c)h
A(u)nt Nellie
It was a delight to read your contest entry.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016
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What a lovely, nostalgic story.
Great descriptions throughout.
Nice imagery when his life was compared to an English garden
shuffled backward to the cou(c)h
A(u)nt Nellie
It was a delight to read your contest entry.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016
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Thank you for such a kind review and the extra star.
