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Viewing comments for Chapter 57 "Michael Mayonnaise Mc Gotten"These are fictional character sketches.
11 total reviews
Comment from krys123
Happy holidays to you and yours Bill;
-there is a certain quality of your poetry that needs to be read fluidly and quickly to really connect correctly the proper verbatim of reading your words. It takes a few poem to get used to the but I think I got the hang of it where it becomes amusing and very humorous to read your writing in a certain tempo and rhythmic style of reading that is quite the same as the writing but needs to be interpreted properly.
-I really enjoyed this and the poor guy all he did was walk down the wrong alley at Sally's and ended up having his bone clean after turning green and now is left in shreds. Should've stayed in bed.
-Thanks for sharing, Bill, and take care and have a good one where and when you can find it.
Alex
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016
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Happy holidays to you and yours Bill;
-there is a certain quality of your poetry that needs to be read fluidly and quickly to really connect correctly the proper verbatim of reading your words. It takes a few poem to get used to the but I think I got the hang of it where it becomes amusing and very humorous to read your writing in a certain tempo and rhythmic style of reading that is quite the same as the writing but needs to be interpreted properly.
-I really enjoyed this and the poor guy all he did was walk down the wrong alley at Sally's and ended up having his bone clean after turning green and now is left in shreds. Should've stayed in bed.
-Thanks for sharing, Bill, and take care and have a good one where and when you can find it.
Alex
Comment Written 17-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016
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Thanks, Alex, for giving this a look. Bill
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You're very welcome, Bill.
Alex
Comment from Nika2016
I like it...It has a great cadence ...tells a good story...describes the non-thinking of the bleeding hearts...exposes misanthropy disguised as altruism....but does not have a happily ever after..Bill......Bill?
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016
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I like it...It has a great cadence ...tells a good story...describes the non-thinking of the bleeding hearts...exposes misanthropy disguised as altruism....but does not have a happily ever after..Bill......Bill?
Comment Written 17-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016
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Thank you for reviewing this, Nika. I guess the happy ending is that they could only kill him once.
Comment from Irish Rain
Oh, wow, poor Michael Mayonnaise McGotten!!! This is a jaunty little verse with a lesson, 'don't give blindly'....know those alleys and the citizens therein! Great job, blessings...
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2016
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Oh, wow, poor Michael Mayonnaise McGotten!!! This is a jaunty little verse with a lesson, 'don't give blindly'....know those alleys and the citizens therein! Great job, blessings...
Comment Written 16-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2016
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Thank you, IR, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Gloria ....
I absolutely love your name poems, because of your wild and highly entertaining imagination.A little mayonnaise is never a bad thing. HAHA. turning up in the compacter isn't good, but that's what happen when you turn green.
Perfect meter, rhyme and a ton of fun too!
Gloria
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2016
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I absolutely love your name poems, because of your wild and highly entertaining imagination.A little mayonnaise is never a bad thing. HAHA. turning up in the compacter isn't good, but that's what happen when you turn green.
Perfect meter, rhyme and a ton of fun too!
Gloria
Comment Written 15-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2016
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Thank you, Gloria, the enthusiastic review. Bill
Comment from royowen
Well done Bill, a very sad refrain indeed, on can't help feeling sorry for this rare creature who deserved a much better outcome in his life's experience! Excellent write my friend, I liked the clever design of the poem, the deftly crafted and unusual rhyming were a delight to read, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016
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Well done Bill, a very sad refrain indeed, on can't help feeling sorry for this rare creature who deserved a much better outcome in his life's experience! Excellent write my friend, I liked the clever design of the poem, the deftly crafted and unusual rhyming were a delight to read, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 15-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016
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Thank you, Roy, for the excellent review. This may have sounded cynical, but that wasn't my intention. Bill
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Well done, I didn't think so Bill,
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hahahahaha!
Where are all of my sixes when I need 'em, Bill?
This was not only well rhymed, using a uniquely composed rhyme scheme which added to the flow of this piece, but it was a little bit funny as well.
Could be the alliterative name, "Michael Mayonnaise Mc Gotten." Or, it could be that the poor guy was just too naive to know any better.
Can you imagine this dude introducing himself to customers if he worked for McDonald's?
"Hello, my name's Michael Mayonnaise Mc Gotten, welcome to McDonald's. may I have your order please?"
Heh-heh-heh...
~Dean :}
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016
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Hahahahaha!
Where are all of my sixes when I need 'em, Bill?
This was not only well rhymed, using a uniquely composed rhyme scheme which added to the flow of this piece, but it was a little bit funny as well.
Could be the alliterative name, "Michael Mayonnaise Mc Gotten." Or, it could be that the poor guy was just too naive to know any better.
Can you imagine this dude introducing himself to customers if he worked for McDonald's?
"Hello, my name's Michael Mayonnaise Mc Gotten, welcome to McDonald's. may I have your order please?"
Heh-heh-heh...
~Dean :}
Comment Written 15-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016
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Thank you, Dean, for the terrific review. Once I wrote down mayonnaise I knew he'd be a naive. Bill
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Hahaha, you're always more than welcome, my
Heh-heh...
~Dean :}
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Isn't that always the way? You try to help others and what do they do in return? Kill the hand that feeds them. People disgust me, and this is just one of the reasons. VERY well said. :)
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016
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Isn't that always the way? You try to help others and what do they do in return? Kill the hand that feeds them. People disgust me, and this is just one of the reasons. VERY well said. :)
Comment Written 15-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016
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Thank you, Phyllis, for your observation. Bill
Comment from nomi338
Very nice. Misplaced charity, though not that rare, begs for the giver to beware. Not everyone you give to will be grateful and once you reveal that you have wealth to share, someone will do their level best to take all that you have, believing you to be an utter fool.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016
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Very nice. Misplaced charity, though not that rare, begs for the giver to beware. Not everyone you give to will be grateful and once you reveal that you have wealth to share, someone will do their level best to take all that you have, believing you to be an utter fool.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016
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Getting mixed reviews on this one. Some think I am a cynic.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A very good poem with a lot of truth. I read a post recently that posed the question have you ever considered that a lot of homeless people are homeless because they choose to be. Some are homeless through no fault of their own and desperately want to better their conditions while others just have no ambition to be anything else.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016
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A very good poem with a lot of truth. I read a post recently that posed the question have you ever considered that a lot of homeless people are homeless because they choose to be. Some are homeless through no fault of their own and desperately want to better their conditions while others just have no ambition to be anything else.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016
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This one was going to be light-hearted or what it is. I came to a poi of rewarding his generosity or being s cynic.
Comment from rama devi
A bit cynical for my taste but I do heartily applaud your creativity and clever, inventive rhymes as well as fluid enjambment and fine narrative storytelling style. Would have made a good entry for poem story contest. Fun alliteration in the name and woven subtle through stanzas, along with other poetic devices, in a bouncy beat.
I like how your end rhymes of final lines echo in each stanza. Excellent medley with: detractor, benefactor, fracture, compacter and actors.
Love these rhymes too:
down-trodden
misbegotten
Mc Gotten
Fine medley of C sounds in last stanza too.
It can indeed give power to bad actors, but it depends on many factors...and sometimes it simply inspires and uplifts...sets a good example, not a poor one.
However, for the sake of satire, this story works well!
Warmly, rd
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016
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A bit cynical for my taste but I do heartily applaud your creativity and clever, inventive rhymes as well as fluid enjambment and fine narrative storytelling style. Would have made a good entry for poem story contest. Fun alliteration in the name and woven subtle through stanzas, along with other poetic devices, in a bouncy beat.
I like how your end rhymes of final lines echo in each stanza. Excellent medley with: detractor, benefactor, fracture, compacter and actors.
Love these rhymes too:
down-trodden
misbegotten
Mc Gotten
Fine medley of C sounds in last stanza too.
It can indeed give power to bad actors, but it depends on many factors...and sometimes it simply inspires and uplifts...sets a good example, not a poor one.
However, for the sake of satire, this story works well!
Warmly, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016
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I typically go with dark humor with these, but ended up with what you've described as something cynical.
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:-))) It is very well done!
