Destination to your heart
A poem for Maria18 total reviews
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is well written and read very well with good rhyming throughout the poem and presented beautifully I enjoyed well-done regards Jill
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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Yes this is well written and read very well with good rhyming throughout the poem and presented beautifully I enjoyed well-done regards Jill
Comment Written 12-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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Thankyou Jill much appreciated
dip
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Beautiful image.
-Thanks for the author notes.
-A good poem using Maria's comment, Dip.
-'Destination' makes a good theme throughout.
-After much travel , the best
"destination is your heart"
-Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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-Beautiful image.
-Thanks for the author notes.
-A good poem using Maria's comment, Dip.
-'Destination' makes a good theme throughout.
-After much travel , the best
"destination is your heart"
-Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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Thankyou so much Pam glad you liked it
dip
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You are very welcome, dip.
Comment from rspoet
This is one "awwwwww" inspiring poem the ladies will love
What better destination than the heart
or Australia, where rhymes are held
as the best in all the world
Perfect picture to match poem
Nicely done
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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This is one "awwwwww" inspiring poem the ladies will love
What better destination than the heart
or Australia, where rhymes are held
as the best in all the world
Perfect picture to match poem
Nicely done
Comment Written 12-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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Thankyou so much rs always appreciate your comments and input
dip
Comment from Abby Wilson-hand
Awe man that's great write
I'm becoming a great fan of yours
have a wonderful day my friend
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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Awe man that's great write
I'm becoming a great fan of yours
have a wonderful day my friend
Comment Written 12-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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Abby you are continually making my day no one has ever reacted to my poetry like this I am on top of the world I have posted 2734 poems on Fanstory since becoming a member in May 2013. this is the nicest things anyone has said about my humble poetry Thank you again. Please feel free to read my other stuff on my profile i would be honoured
xdip
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well thank you I just might do that
Comment from Unspoken94
This is a wonderful poem, Dip. It's the best of your
recent postings. I've read all of them and then I got
to this one. Excellent pace and creative use of the
words you use. -Bill
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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This is a wonderful poem, Dip. It's the best of your
recent postings. I've read all of them and then I got
to this one. Excellent pace and creative use of the
words you use. -Bill
Comment Written 12-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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Wow Bill i am humbled and honoured you feel this way.
I am more honoured to think that you go to the time to read all my poems. That means a lot to me.
It's funny what people like. I have posted over 2700 poems on Fanstory probably 90 percent are love or romance poems. I received a good for the same poem and felt it warranted at least 5 stars for what the ratings system is worth..
I have written nearly all of those poems unless satirical in simple but heartfelt rhyme I have been on fanstory for over 3 and a half years posting 2 poems per night. I know I am not everyone's cup of tea so to speak and average 4 reviews on my posts per night.
I review every night and try to promote my work where time permits I have over 50 fans of which of those and everyone else I always review when they post. Obviously they haven't the time to reciprocate asthey average 30 reviews a night.
So where am I going with all of this?
Where I'm going is, I value you and a handful others comments and reviews more than anyone on fanstory who go to the trouble and have the impetus to comment on my simple rhymes.
Not everyone deserve good ratings and I am probably too prolific but this is my passion to write simple rhyme and yes maybe i should spend more time on each than the 3 to 5 mins I spend writing each one.
They are spontaneous and impromptu, They are definitely heart felt yet simple in content and as I said that is my style. It would be a boring old world if we all wrote the same hey
Once again thanks for reading my little rave. I hope it makes sense
With the greatest respect, for one of the most passionate guys I have read and feel I know on Facebook and I admire totally for your support and compassion
Your Fanstory friend
dip
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I've got your back, Dip. Keep writing! -Bill
Comment from Thal1959
Very nicely composed, and interestingly enough, no matter the varying foot of the lines, the choice of words allow each verse to dictate and hold their own rhythm. The only oddity I came across was in the second stanza;
"I can travel many places
All around the world
See many people and many faces
And in my memory's held"
"World" and "held" does not rhyme. All other rhyme pairs work fine, except this one, which, therefore, calls attention to itself. personally, I would have used a word like "furled" instead of "held." it would rhyme with "world," and has basically the same meaning. (To be secured or rolled up.) Not exactly the same as "held," but the meaning of the line would remain. But that is just my personal opinion. It is still a very good work.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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Very nicely composed, and interestingly enough, no matter the varying foot of the lines, the choice of words allow each verse to dictate and hold their own rhythm. The only oddity I came across was in the second stanza;
"I can travel many places
All around the world
See many people and many faces
And in my memory's held"
"World" and "held" does not rhyme. All other rhyme pairs work fine, except this one, which, therefore, calls attention to itself. personally, I would have used a word like "furled" instead of "held." it would rhyme with "world," and has basically the same meaning. (To be secured or rolled up.) Not exactly the same as "held," but the meaning of the line would remain. But that is just my personal opinion. It is still a very good work.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
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You know I have this debate with all Americans lol
In Australia with the Queens English, World and held do rhyme
world phonetically is pronounced eld hence world and held. Just because you guys bastardize the English language with your spelling and accent doesn't mean its correct! lol
with the greatest respect
if that's the reason i lose a star lol I gain it back now with my wonderful explanation haha
Thanks so much for your review
dip
Said with tongue deeply implanted in cheek
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I am beginning to think you "Aussie's" need to put an English language "warning label" on your works! Thanks for the clarification.
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hehe I think that maybe a good idea Thal lol
I have adjusted the author's notes accordingly Yours in English
dipster haha
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Jolly good show, mite.
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haha too funny it's pronounced and spelt 'mate!'
jolly is an English word for someone from Britain I'd say
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C'mon now, Dr Dip, don't be dippy... Mate is pronounced "mite" in Australia. When I was in Perth on shore leave, We asked the cabbie to take us to Hay street and he kept saying "high" street - just like the English do. Bwahahahaha.
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Thal its all to do with accent. Do you want me to really start on you yanks haha
What makes your language the bench mark for phonetic pronunciation? haha
you guys have the weirdest pronunciation of some words even though they are phonetically spelt.
Even when the English came out on the Mayflower or when columbus cam. Where did you guys bastardize perfect English? lol
(this is fun)
xdip
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Who can say the English were perfect at English? Maybe we colonials straightened it out, Ho-ho-ho! (And that ain't no prelude to Santa Claus.) Don't forget, that several hundred years ago, English, as spoken by the English, was so schmutched-up that the majority of literary works in England were rendered in French or Latin. It took the brilliance of Chaucer to legitimatize middle-English vernacular as a viable literary language. But just for the fun of it - if you spell world that way, but pronounce it weld, isn't that a case of accent too? 'ell, what the 'ell mite! Sometimes the Aussie vernacular 'its one on the 'ead as 'ard as an 'eavy 'ammer. I repeat, Bwahahahaha!
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well done! I knew you would give me an in depth exclamation
Comment from Joan E.
I am glad you were inspired by a line by a FanStorian friend and shared the resulting quatrains with alternating rhymes. You have created an evocative love poem and adorned it with a reinforcing artwork. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016
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I am glad you were inspired by a line by a FanStorian friend and shared the resulting quatrains with alternating rhymes. You have created an evocative love poem and adorned it with a reinforcing artwork. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 11-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016
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Thanks so much Joan much appreciated
dip
Comment from Thomas Bowling
There is nothing greater than love when it is fresh and new. Perhaps the only thing better is love that spans the years and lasts past the first rush of emotion.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016
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There is nothing greater than love when it is fresh and new. Perhaps the only thing better is love that spans the years and lasts past the first rush of emotion.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016
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Thanks Thomas glad you liked it and yes everlasting love is a beautiful thing
dip
Comment from MelB
Wonderful artwork and poem. Nice abab rhyme and it flows well. A special person indeed is one that will never be forgotten.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016
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Wonderful artwork and poem. Nice abab rhyme and it flows well. A special person indeed is one that will never be forgotten.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016
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Thanks Mel appreciate your comments in review
dip
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You're welcome.
Comment from Pantygynt
This is a sweet little declaration of love or rather it has that intention but at the moment it has become entangled in its own complexity.
A destination is where you are travelling to. So you can logically have a destination from somewhere, your start point but not to somewhere as the to is implied in the word destination. Your note as written states that you have changed it from one thing to the same thing so you haven't actually changed it, yet you have.
Your destination actually is your heart so better really to say so.
In S1. "When the destination('s to ) is your heart"
In S3. "The destination (to) is your heart"
If you can sort this out and get the the note more meaningful I would love to upgrade it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016
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This is a sweet little declaration of love or rather it has that intention but at the moment it has become entangled in its own complexity.
A destination is where you are travelling to. So you can logically have a destination from somewhere, your start point but not to somewhere as the to is implied in the word destination. Your note as written states that you have changed it from one thing to the same thing so you haven't actually changed it, yet you have.
Your destination actually is your heart so better really to say so.
In S1. "When the destination('s to ) is your heart"
In S3. "The destination (to) is your heart"
If you can sort this out and get the the note more meaningful I would love to upgrade it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016
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Dear panty with the greatest respect I don't how any of mt simple poems can be entangled in complexity..my words are always simple and from the heart its the way I write We all have different styles You love to write short stories mainly and metaphorical poetry , Where as I never write short stories and my poetry is never metaphorical in content and that is the wonderful diversity of poetry.
on saying that I do agree with your changes thankyou
dip
