Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Interesting chapter. You've created a fascinating culture here. At first, Archie pretended to go along with them for Ayala. THen, at the end, he openly disagreed. I wonder if that will get him into trouble.

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016

Archie stays in trouble. hahaha.

Thanks for the wonderful review!
Rhonda

Comment from Heidi M

Excellent

I was surprised Koko mentioned not keeping Archie there in Hokee.
You have created an interesting cast by putting them in houses...Snake, Cougar, Hawk, etc.
Does the food have something in it to make them compliant/brainwashed? If so, Archie better find something else to eat!
I don't think Ayala is fooled by Archie's supposed compliance.
Good chapter in your story!

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016

Thank you, Heidi.
No, the food is safe, the rhetoric is not. It's hard to not get pulled into group shared lies.
Ayala isn't fooled, but is glad he isn't in open rebellion, at least not that she knows of...
Koko is beginning to become disenchanted, and has her reasons for being so, one of which is the disappearance of Todd. The other will become evident later.

Thank you so much for your wonderful review,
Rhonda

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Fascinating thickening of the plot. I like how much more we find out through the dialog. I kind a wish what the food looked like but I know the chapter is long enough. I am suspecting that there has been a lot of genetic experimentation. Great building of suspense through Todd's dream (der Tod in German means death so I wonder if he's doomed?) and the fact that Ayala and Koko disagree. Archie can see a possible hope to get out of there...

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016

Actually, the meaning of the name Todd that I was going for was Fox or coyote, lol.
You know, I was going to go into the food, but, like you said, it was too long already, and decided I could always add it in later. It's funny you mentioned it.

Archie isn't finished with Koko. He definitely sees a way in there. Todd will be pivotal later, as his absence will help Archie put that wedge in between the sisters.

Thanks for reading and making comments!

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

Excellent. I find this most interesting, especially the part about the animals. Who would want to live without our pets and friends? This is nicely written. I will watch for more of this story.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016

Thank you so much. You're right about the animals, and their fear of them is brainwashed into them. There's a hidden reason for that.

Thanks for reading and keeping up!

Rhonda

Comment from royowen

Excellent

You've created a very delightful and imaginative story Rhonds, the plot is developing nicely, I think there is a lot of conditioning in the world, this is what would go on in an orderly commune, it's true that perhaps humans are comfortable in being told what to do, I know I don't, I'm a bit of a contrarian, it's served me well. I've belonged to a couple of institutions which are like that, as we humans have been wired to practise free will, but only to come back to Him. So well done, the plot is developing nicely with appropriate characters to embellish the story,wel done, enjoyable Rhonda, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016

Thank you, Roy! I appreciate the review and comments. Yes, there are many who follow just because they are told to do so, and not because the principals are sound. You'll see soon that things begin to fall apart at the seams.

God Bless,
Rhonda

reply by royowen on 11-Dec-2016

Well done, a very wise story Rhonda

Comment from Mike Stevens

Excellent

Another fine chapter, Rhonda, and how would Yoda put it? 'The Delusional Bullshit Is Strong Among The Forced Residents!"

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016

Too true. hahaha

Comment from MelB

Excellent

Hi Rhonda, the story is moving along well. Funny, I was thinking cult before I read the word. They do have all the signs.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016

Thank you for the review! Yes, it is definitely that, but with a twist to it, but that's later!
Have a great week,
Rhonda

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

Wow This sounds like a place I don't want to live in. You have woven quite a different piece of writing that gives the reader time to really think about this new place restricted and almost familiar in a way.
Excellent writing and I see no problems

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016

Thank you, Barb! It does have a lot of the elements of an assumed utopia, but already issues arising, as will always happen in plastic societies!

I appreciate your time and attention to the chapter.
Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from Ulla

Exceptional

Hi Rhonda, the story is moving on nicely, they certainly do their best to convince him of the sense of the place. So far I'm on Archie's side. The whole concept is a bit extreme. Looking forward to see where you're taking this. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016

Thank you for the six stars, Ulla! What a wonderful gift.
Yes, it is a bit extreme, and gets worse before it gets better! Suffice it to say the right guy got stuck there.

Have a great week!

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I'm with Archie on the animals. LOL I am wondering about Todd myself. I think this community is even stranger than before. You are doing a good job.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2016

Thank you, Barbara!
The animal thing is definitely an issue with these people, but there is a deeper reason. But that's a story for another day.
Have a great week,
Rhonda