Our Adam, Our Eve
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Comment from RGstar
This is very good indeed. Look behind the surface of language and found is sincere truths.
Your usual cryptic style that delivers resolutely on this one.
Good write.
My best wishes.
Have a good day, author.
RGstar
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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This is very good indeed. Look behind the surface of language and found is sincere truths.
Your usual cryptic style that delivers resolutely on this one.
Good write.
My best wishes.
Have a good day, author.
RGstar
Comment Written 10-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Thank you, good sir.
Comment from closetpoetjester
Carnal desire rules, there's no denying it.
Material needs really don't stack up against the needs of the flesh and that good old primal urge.
And the plight...yes, HARD to ignore something that just plain don't go away. Oh, you can try your damnedest...but when something gets under your skin and you just can't shake it...well, there's no way out, no if's no butts...time moves and exteriors change...but by God, the interior burns the same. You know it's damned hot, probably way too hot and you are so gonna burn in hell but...you do it anyway.
Yep...chance enough, my man. Your screwed! LOL er figuratively speaking of coure...teehee hmmm...
Your Hangar
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Carnal desire rules, there's no denying it.
Material needs really don't stack up against the needs of the flesh and that good old primal urge.
And the plight...yes, HARD to ignore something that just plain don't go away. Oh, you can try your damnedest...but when something gets under your skin and you just can't shake it...well, there's no way out, no if's no butts...time moves and exteriors change...but by God, the interior burns the same. You know it's damned hot, probably way too hot and you are so gonna burn in hell but...you do it anyway.
Yep...chance enough, my man. Your screwed! LOL er figuratively speaking of coure...teehee hmmm...
Your Hangar
Comment Written 10-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Yes, figuratively too. Ha ha.
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Er, literally as well.
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Better not complain then LMAO
Comment from Oatmeal
victortouche
Your feelings are expressed well. Well chosen words are excellent. The theme is strong. Your feelings are expressed well. Your arrangement looks very nice. The flow is smooth.
There was no SPAG, no typos, no room for improvement.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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victortouche
Your feelings are expressed well. Well chosen words are excellent. The theme is strong. Your feelings are expressed well. Your arrangement looks very nice. The flow is smooth.
There was no SPAG, no typos, no room for improvement.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 10-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Thank you.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes it started in the beginning with Adam and Eve but from there it is us that have decides how things evolve and only us that can implement the changes needed well done regards Jill
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Yes it started in the beginning with Adam and Eve but from there it is us that have decides how things evolve and only us that can implement the changes needed well done regards Jill
Comment Written 10-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Thank you.
Comment from robina1978
An excellent photo of two ducks, Adam and Eve, that complements your poem perfectly. You describe in a poetic form evolution and more. Great poem.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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An excellent photo of two ducks, Adam and Eve, that complements your poem perfectly. You describe in a poetic form evolution and more. Great poem.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Thank you, dear.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem. We need material things to a certain extend to survive on a daily basis. When it is getting out of hand is when we want more than we really need just to boast with our friends. The real treasures we need is free and within ourselves.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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A very well-written poem. We need material things to a certain extend to survive on a daily basis. When it is getting out of hand is when we want more than we really need just to boast with our friends. The real treasures we need is free and within ourselves.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Exactament, madame, exactament.
Comment from Sis Cat
A fine poem of epigrams and proverbs woven together to discuss a narrative of a couple. Your poem has a 2001: A Space Odyssey-range from evolution to astronauts. Your poem probes the nature of things and of relationships. OI love the flow of your words and your ending is stellar and evocative. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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A fine poem of epigrams and proverbs woven together to discuss a narrative of a couple. Your poem has a 2001: A Space Odyssey-range from evolution to astronauts. Your poem probes the nature of things and of relationships. OI love the flow of your words and your ending is stellar and evocative. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Thank you so much, sir.
Comment from rama devi
Hi Victor.
As usual, this is highly original and thought provoking. Fine unique free verse style. A bit enigmatic (in a good way).
Love this voicing:
What matters the brain
without lobe right
Evolution gains
but lacks insight
and so our plight
begets mutation
Fine random internal rhyme too.
Interesting lines:
A way to change
but not the will
Appearances differ
but none within
Powerful:
The only hope
is no way home
No one to be bought
LOVE THIS:
Just love
and our two astronauts
Powerful closing...I suggest not using a cap on FOR since it continues the sentence with fine enjambment:
Burn engines bright
and light our graves
F(f)or we were given
chance enough
for...
change.
the is an intense contemplation of our current times. Climate crisis is the worst issue humanity has ever faced and we're not doing enough about it. Incredible to think how many deniers there are, too!
Good wake up call poem.
Blessings, rd
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Hi Victor.
As usual, this is highly original and thought provoking. Fine unique free verse style. A bit enigmatic (in a good way).
Love this voicing:
What matters the brain
without lobe right
Evolution gains
but lacks insight
and so our plight
begets mutation
Fine random internal rhyme too.
Interesting lines:
A way to change
but not the will
Appearances differ
but none within
Powerful:
The only hope
is no way home
No one to be bought
LOVE THIS:
Just love
and our two astronauts
Powerful closing...I suggest not using a cap on FOR since it continues the sentence with fine enjambment:
Burn engines bright
and light our graves
F(f)or we were given
chance enough
for...
change.
the is an intense contemplation of our current times. Climate crisis is the worst issue humanity has ever faced and we're not doing enough about it. Incredible to think how many deniers there are, too!
Good wake up call poem.
Blessings, rd
Comment Written 10-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Good spag point. As always, thank you.
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:-))
Comment from valmay
I do believe that intellectual ability without empathy is an empty kettle, and I feel that is the sentiment in this poem, although I am not sure what the connection between the recent death of John Glenn and change is. I am sure the lack is mine as I enjoyed the 'feel of the poem'
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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I do believe that intellectual ability without empathy is an empty kettle, and I feel that is the sentiment in this poem, although I am not sure what the connection between the recent death of John Glenn and change is. I am sure the lack is mine as I enjoyed the 'feel of the poem'
Comment Written 10-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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Thank you.
Comment from Nika2016
A somewhat depressing view of humankind....Actually there are a lot of right-hemisphere thinkers in society who have little control over the antics of the masses...We do not need to start over...just convert the left-hemisphere...Interesting poem..
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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A somewhat depressing view of humankind....Actually there are a lot of right-hemisphere thinkers in society who have little control over the antics of the masses...We do not need to start over...just convert the left-hemisphere...Interesting poem..
Comment Written 10-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
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You are right, but how to do it? The masses are always the conunfrum. Massively ignorant but the only group powerful enough for change.
