Comment from Aussie

Excellent

Well, you sounded down in the trenches when you wrote this one. Hope springeth eternal in the human breast. And we long to be released from feet of clay! A Happy Christmas poem for the contest would be nice. Thanks Roy.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2016

Thanks so much Kay, for this excellent review, and super comments, and blessings to you and yours, blessings, Roy

Comment from misscookie

Excellent

Amen!
You truly captured my attention from the first line to the last.
This is what I call a food for thought poem... meaning after you read it you go mm.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2016

Thanks so much Cookie, for this excellent review, and super comments, blessings, Roy

reply by misscookie on 07-Dec-2016

You're very welcome, take care.
Cookie

reply by the author on 07-Dec-2016

Thanks again Cookie

reply by misscookie on 07-Dec-2016

You're very welcome.
Cookie

Comment from Badger_29

Exceptional

A wonderful read, with very good rhyme and meter. I find it immensely pleasing to mix scripture into my prose; I get the feeling that someone will be attracted to the entertaining value, and walk away feeling, better? uplifted? saved? Some very good descriptive adjectives and nouns, my favorite, "Vexation's hoary hand" pure genius. Powerful and moving, I am delighted by your collection of unusually and ironically suited words. The second stanza, :

Our souls seek through perception's eyes
yet foggy lenses smear that prize.
How can we know when souls will glean
from shadowed wraiths, not what faith's seen.

Amazing. I felt a little smeary after that powerful prose punch ! Well Done, Darren

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2016

Thanks so much Darren for this marvellous review, and exceptions comments, and super stars, blessings, Roy

reply by Badger_29 on 07-Dec-2016

I remain unvexed, Badger

reply by the author on 08-Dec-2016

That is good Darren,

Comment from Janet Foor

Excellent

A powerful and inspirational poem Roy. I loved each stanza but the last one really resonated with me. I am so counting on that I am hid in the blood of Jesus.

Well done my friend.

Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2016

Thanks so much Janet, for this excellent review, and super comments, blessings, Roy

Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

These aabb quatrains shows human fear of death and also that faith hides usfrom the devil so we can take in Jesus's love and accept we may have eternal lives.

Keep writng

Joan

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2016

Thanks so much Joan, for this excellent review, and super comments, blessings, Roy

reply by dragonpoet on 08-Dec-2016

My pleasure.

Joan

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Hi, Roy. Have you ever wanted to die and get it over with? If for no other reason to escape the bonds of a crippled society that just gets worse and worse in so many ways. Mind you, I am not suicidal, but I just want to see the hereafter, I guess. It has to be better than this.

Ilove your poem and it made me think hard and long about your words.

Blessings, my friend. Bob

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2016

Thanks so much Bob, for this excellent review, and super comments, blessings, Roy

Comment from Grasshopper2

Excellent

Hi Roy,
Good luck in the contest. You have my vote. I especially like your opening line "When death stalks life all men will hope" and this stanza

I feel vexation's hoary hand,
upon soul's brow, its cruel brand;
it burns, it hurts, no refuge found,
I can't escape its mocking sound.

This passage has good alliteration of H, good flow, and rhymes. I like the sounds produced by the word it: its cruel, it burns, it hurts. This passage also sounds good out loud.

Here's some pesky things enquiring minds need to know (enquiring minds being the two halves of my brain) the answers of which help educate me.

Here: upon soul's brow, [ITS] cruel brand;
Did you mean upon soul's brow, [IT'S] cruel brand?

I stumbled over the word 'foggy' when I read it out loud; plus, I don't feel it is the best compliment for your word 'lenses.'

Here: Our souls seek through perception's eyes
yet [FOGGY] lenses smear that prize.
Consider using a better word pair to strengthen lenses, something like:

Our souls seek through perception's eyes
yet [GRAY] lenses smear that prize.
or
Our souls seek through perception's eyes
yet [DARK] lenses [CLOUD] that prize.

I am confused by this line: [I'M HID, I'M HID, by all that's good,] Did you mean [I'M HIT, I'M HIT, by all, that's good, that crimson stream of Jesus' blood?]

Roy, I love reading your poems for almost always I feel as you so aptly penned: somewhere deep I feel God's kiss, to brush heart's brow...salvation's bliss.

Always with blessings,
Michael

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2016

Thanks so much Michael for this excellent review, and super comments, and great suggestions. Gray is American, grey is Britishblessings, Roy

Comment from CEO2020

Excellent

Another outstanding piece.

"Our souls seek through perception's eyes
yet foggy lenses smear that prize.
How can we know when souls will glean
from shadowed wraiths, not what faith's seen. "

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2016

Thanks so much for this excellent review, and super comments, blessings, Roy

Comment from bertranclan

Excellent

This is well-written, as I'm sure you know. My favorite line is: yes, deep within I feel pride's quill write epitaphs upon my will...love it. There are so many wonderful images here. God's kiss...I like that, too. Well done.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2016

Thanks so much for this excellent review, and super comments, blessings, Roy

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello, Ray,

I think your poem is well written and appropriate for the contest. I like the iambic meter, it's my favorite. It feels like a song.

Well done my friend. Good luck in the contest, I think you have a winner.

Gypsy

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2016

Thanks so much Gypsy, for this excellent review, and super comments, blessings, Roy