Reviews from

The Piper

Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "The Piper, part 8"
Young Adult Fantasy

16 total reviews 
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another comment:

I like the way you subtly drop information about your fantasy folk by using dialogue. Everyone sort of has their own take on magical beings, especially Fae, and you've done a great job of introducing yours.


"Alright then, Elementals, the Fair Folk, or Faerie-kind if you prefer. Call yourselves whatever you like, but your kind preys on the young and vulnerable. Piper is both at present. He recently lost his last living relative, and he is starting out on his first adventure into the world. He doesn't know what to expect. Who knows who or what he will believe or how he will react? And he's just at the age your kind likes to lure away with tales of changelings who were exchanged at birth with human children and now need to return to their 'true parents' in the Faerie world."

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2023


reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
    Hi Rhonda,
    My, you are doing a lot of reading today. I appreciate it. So glad you liked the description Burkehart gave of Faerie-kind. My research showed that Faerie-kind was blamed for a lot of things by humans in the Middle Ages.
reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 24-Jul-2023
    Oh how funny, I never knew that about Faeries and the Middle Ages, but I'm glad you added that to your work. You are not just creative, but thorough, and that makes your work believable. Without that believable aspect of fantasy writing, you can't get buy-in by the public. I try and remember that when writing, but it's easy to drift off into the world you create.
reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 25-Jul-2023
    One of the things that seemed odd was coming across reviews I had left so long ago.
Comment from karenina
Excellent
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Oh...my. Seems Burehart and Fae may both have ulterior motives with Piper. You've established Piper as a fine lad, but an innocent one. How will he come to know which of the two has his best interest at heart? Do either? I know! I must read ON!

(smile)

Karenina

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
    Hi Karenina,
    Thank you for continuing with the story. I appreciate you analysis of the character. Yes, who should he trust? Hmm.
    Debi
reply by karenina on 20-Feb-2023
    I'm addicted. Is there a twelve-step program for this?

    :)
Comment from May 1
Excellent
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Wow, the captain sure is tactful. Hm, I do wonder who he is. It sounds like discrimination to me but perhaps Burkehart has his reasons. I've dabbled a bit with Elementals so I love to see your approach to them. Haha, I love the Summerstorm's exit, it's awesome. It was as always a great chapter to read, I especially love the mystery of why they are so focused on Piper.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2020
    Hi May 1,
    Thank you for the insightful remarks. I am so happy to hear you liked Summerstorm's exit and are enjoying the mystery.
    Debi
Comment from Spitfire
Excellent
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Sorry, I didn't get to this while it paid. I do love the story and heavy dialogue to carry the action forward. The bit about changelings would fascinate the young.

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
    Hi Shari,
    I'm sorry you didn't get to it while paid, too. How kind of you to drop by when it is no longer paying.
    Thank you for the comments about the dialogue and the comment about loving the story. You made my day.
    I appreciate you following the story.
    Debi
Comment from F. Wehr3
Excellent
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I remember reading parts of this story a long time ago. The story has stuck with me and I'm glad you posted another part. It is intriguing and entertaining. Well done!

I found two minor things for your consideration.

If you can accompany me I would like to ask you some questions as we walk."--Suggest a comma after me.

I still have some packing to do and I need to change for the ceremony."--Suggest a comma before and because you have two complete sentences.

Take care,
Russell

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
    Hi Russell,
    I am flattered that you remember the story. I haven't posted since May so I wasn't sure if anyone would remember. Thank you for the suggestions for improvement. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review.
    Debi
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

-I like the new image to go with the story.
-I am very glad you are back with Piper, both of you have been sorely missed.
-The notes helped a lot to pick up where we had left off.
-The chapter is written well with the excitement of Braun, the festivities that are planned, the mistrust of Burkehart, and the ever elusive and mysterious Fae.
-The big mystery that has been consistent in each chapter is why Fae/Summerstorm is so interested in Braun. He always seems suspicious to me, and apparently Burkehart feels the same way about him.
-I like the description you give of the Fair Folk through Burkehart; however,
Summerstorm says they are all stories used to frighten their children and mistrust them.
-The ending is very good, as Braun's fans mistake the Fae, the troubadour, as him. That is what makes him so easy to mistrust; he seems to set up these situations to distract Burkehart away from Braun; the troubadour disappears, and now we are left to wonder again, "What is it that Summerstorm really wants of Braun.?" I could be incorrect, but I don't think it is for anything good; he is too shifty.
-"Piper" is definitely back!

gold stars photo: Gold Stars gold-star-1.gif







 Comment Written 09-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
    Hi Pam,

    I truly appreciate your review. Thank you for the wonderful sixes and also for the encouraging comments. Thank you for taking time to list the details you enjoyed and what you liked about the story, the writing and the presentation. It took me a while to find artwork I liked. Angelheart was always my default for artwork, but it looks like she has dropped off of FanArt.

    I appreciate you taking time to check on me over the last few months. Knowing someone would read this story if I came back was one reason I did. It meant a lot to me to know I was missed, especially when so much was going on. You were the one person who reached out. It touched me. Bless you for caring.

    I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and that the coming holidays bring you a lot of joy.

    Debi
reply by Pam (respa) on 10-Dec-2016
    You are very welcome for the review and stars, Debi. Your reply means a lot to me. I have enjoyed the Piper series, and would always hope for your return. I can't put into words how much your comments mean to me. I hope you had a good Thanksgiving, too, and have a great upcoming holiday season and a wonderful new year.
Comment from rspoet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Ah, the return of The Piper,
or perhaps, it is better stated
the return of the Fae,
with the marvelous name, Summerstorm,
who seems as elusive as a Pimpernel.
And Captain Burkehart, good or bad captain,
who is always one step behind;
but, after all, how does one catch a storm?
Excellent story with marvelous dialogue.
Looking forward to more of the young piper
who garners so much attention,
music prodigy or something more?
Well done!

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
    Thank you so much for the shiny six stars. They are hard to come by at the end of the week so I really appreciate it.

    Yes, Piper has returned with Summerstorm and Burkehart both keeping an eye on him. What do they want?

    Thank you for the encouraging comments about the writing and for mentioning the dialog.

    Debi
Comment from mbroyles2
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is intriguing with a great deal of suspense.
Surely there is more to our friend Piper besides being a good musician. To draw the attention of a Fae and the caution of the Captain.
We'll written.
I'll keep an eye out for the next chapter.
Michael

 Comment Written 09-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 10-Dec-2016
    Hi Michael,

    Thank you for stopping in to review, especially in the middle of a story. Not a lot of reviewers will do that.

    Yes, I am hoping readers will see there is more to Piper--and so will he.

    I appreciate the encouraging review and your offer to check out the next chapter.

    Thank you.
    Debi
Comment from ciliverde
Excellent
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I try not to jump into a story in the middle but I'm glad I did here. I used to dream about the Faerie folk, and almost imagined I'd see them - in the woods of Montana, lol. I have a soft spot for them, so I'm not sure who's side I should be on...kinda rooting for Red Leif Summerstorm at this point!
Carol

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 08-Dec-2016
    Hi Carol,

    I am so glad you stopped by. I know it is hard to start a story in the middle so I appreciate you doing so. The Faerie Folk are fun, aren't they?

    I have a quote on my desk that says: "If you want your children to be intelligent read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales." Albert Einstein.

    I am happy to hear you like Redd-Leif. He has yet to show if he is a good guy or a bad guy, but he is certainly a major part of the story.

    Thank you for the encouragement.

    Debi
reply by ciliverde on 08-Dec-2016
    You're most welcome. I love reading and I love a good tale - this one takes me back! :))
Comment from Ella25
Excellent
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It is a well written, fantasy story with a good plot. I enjoyed reading it as the words flow and are easy to understand for a regular reader. Well done and thank you for sharing. Blessings, Ella

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 08-Dec-2016
    Hi Ella,

    Thank you for the encouraging review. I am pleased that you enjoyed the story. You made me smile with the kind words.

    Debi