Sneaky Pete's Bar~Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas from Betty, Pete, Roger, Emma and Rose.21 total reviews
Comment from DonandVicki
I have enjoyed reading your stories as you have a way of pulling the reader into the plot by the use of your well constructed characters. Very nicely done.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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I have enjoyed reading your stories as you have a way of pulling the reader into the plot by the use of your well constructed characters. Very nicely done.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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I was hoping you would stop by to read this story. The three stories together are something else. Thank you for the awesome review.
Merry Christmas!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A very good continuation of your story. Like like the part about a bald man's hair brush. I always wondered why bald men rub their head. Now I know.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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A very good continuation of your story. Like like the part about a bald man's hair brush. I always wondered why bald men rub their head. Now I know.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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I was hoping you would stop by to read this little bit of mayhem. Thank you for the awesome review!
Merry Christmas!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment from Heidi M
So sweet that Emma and Rose have a new family and feel loved and cherished. You entwined humor throughout your story, which I thought was a nice touch.
Examples:
'It looks like a poop bomb went off in here'
the tongs and the bald man's hairbrush
'If it doesn't move, Emma put a garland or bow on it'
Here are a couple spags:
You guys are so good to Rose and (me)
I'm (lying) on a couple booth cushions
Very sweet contest entry!
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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So sweet that Emma and Rose have a new family and feel loved and cherished. You entwined humor throughout your story, which I thought was a nice touch.
Examples:
'It looks like a poop bomb went off in here'
the tongs and the bald man's hairbrush
'If it doesn't move, Emma put a garland or bow on it'
Here are a couple spags:
You guys are so good to Rose and (me)
I'm (lying) on a couple booth cushions
Very sweet contest entry!
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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Thank you so much for your help with this story and the awesome review. It's deeply appreciated!
Merry Christmas!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment from sunnilicious
Wonderful short story. The backstory is great too. You definitely should think about turning it into a novel. All the characters are set up properly. Good narrative with dialogue that people can easily relate too. Babies are special, especially at Christmas. Nice work. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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Wonderful short story. The backstory is great too. You definitely should think about turning it into a novel. All the characters are set up properly. Good narrative with dialogue that people can easily relate too. Babies are special, especially at Christmas. Nice work. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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I don't think we're done with them yet. At least two more stories. Thank you for the awesome review.
Merry Christmas!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment from country ranch writer
A BEAUTIFUL END TO THIS ON AND PRESENTED VERY WELL INDEED AND BET THE BABY WAS DELIGHTED TO BE SPOILED BY ALL AND HAD THEM WRAPPED AROUND HER LITTLE FINGERS
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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A BEAUTIFUL END TO THIS ON AND PRESENTED VERY WELL INDEED AND BET THE BABY WAS DELIGHTED TO BE SPOILED BY ALL AND HAD THEM WRAPPED AROUND HER LITTLE FINGERS
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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Many thanks for your awesome review. It's deeply appreciated.
Merry Christmas!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
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SMILES
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent. Very nicely written and full of humor. I love the part about the baby poop clearing the bar out. Pete's bald hair brush is cute too. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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Excellent. Very nicely written and full of humor. I love the part about the baby poop clearing the bar out. Pete's bald hair brush is cute too. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2016
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Many thanks for the awesome review. It's deeply appreciated!
Merry Christmas!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment from LIJ Red
A Christmas story about some very human characters, and told with a realism that almost has the odor coming through when babies do what they do best. Excellent.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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A Christmas story about some very human characters, and told with a realism that almost has the odor coming through when babies do what they do best. Excellent.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2016
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What a compliment, you can smell the baby poop in the story. That's Awesome! Thanks for the great review, my friend.
Merry Christmas!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Love the bald headed man's brush, very good. Going by your pic - do you have one? Great story, very heart-warming.
Just a couple of edits -
Does she know about the play pen and all of (the) stuff we bought...
I've never (seen) this place so full of life.
I want (to) pray with you all.
I don't know if I (can) stand both of them
We all about fall out on the floor - We all fall about on the floor
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
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Love the bald headed man's brush, very good. Going by your pic - do you have one? Great story, very heart-warming.
Just a couple of edits -
Does she know about the play pen and all of (the) stuff we bought...
I've never (seen) this place so full of life.
I want (to) pray with you all.
I don't know if I (can) stand both of them
We all about fall out on the floor - We all fall about on the floor
Comment Written 19-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2016
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First thing, yes I own a bald headed man's hair brush. We bought it at a flea market many years ago and it sits on a shelf in the kitchen. I love to use real objects and places in my fiction. It just makes the story real to me and to the reader.
Second, many thanks for the awesome edit. It's what this story needed. I've read it a thousand times now and can't see the mistakes anymore. My mind just fills in the gaps.
Thanks again and Merry Christmas!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment from TallySally
Hi, Mike - I've been wanting to get back around to your site. I am so glad I found this piece. What a wonderful Christmas story - ANYTIME story!
This would be a fine chapter in a chapbook.
God bless and my best,
Relda
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016
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Hi, Mike - I've been wanting to get back around to your site. I am so glad I found this piece. What a wonderful Christmas story - ANYTIME story!
This would be a fine chapter in a chapbook.
God bless and my best,
Relda
Comment Written 12-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016
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Thank you so much for stopping by to read this little bit of mayhem. I've got to make time to read, they've changed my schedule at work from nights to days and its been brutal. I haven't written a word in two weeks and I've got the shakes, BAD! But God will work it out. Thanks again and Merry Christmas!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
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Hey - keep that pad and pen nearby. When God moves your spirit it'll come like a flowing river. (He always surprises me with 'words to share' around 3am.)
I prayed for you to have inspiration and time.
Relda
Comment from lyenochka
Great Christmas story! You have all the pieces that make for humor with the incongruous collection of people and a baby in a bar. It echoes the Christmas story well with Christ in a manger and the prayers are beautiful, too. Hope the health inspector doesn't come soon...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2016
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Great Christmas story! You have all the pieces that make for humor with the incongruous collection of people and a baby in a bar. It echoes the Christmas story well with Christ in a manger and the prayers are beautiful, too. Hope the health inspector doesn't come soon...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2016
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Thank you so much for the awesome review. I love the health inspector angle, nice touch also a 16 year old in a bar is against the law in Tennessee. Thank God it's fiction! I was only going to write one of these stories for a collection I was doing and the reviews for the first one were amazing. I had to write a few more. Thanks again for your kind words and I hope you got a good laugh. I'll be by your site to read, soon.
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
