Prosetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "The Life of a Man"Story telling poems
6 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a super write. I agree with you completely. Society and women themselves are underappreciating and undervaluing the males in our lives. TV makes them out to be ridiculous and stupid. My philosophy is to be equals, but vive la difference. :) Marilyn
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2016
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This is a super write. I agree with you completely. Society and women themselves are underappreciating and undervaluing the males in our lives. TV makes them out to be ridiculous and stupid. My philosophy is to be equals, but vive la difference. :) Marilyn
Comment Written 16-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2016
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Men are so important and they are different than us. I had to learn that in order to love my husband now. and I really do love him and he loves me. so interesting the way life turns into stories that teach us. that is why I write.
Comment from Joseph Pedulla
Poetry is not supposed to direct the reader to act a certain way. Poetry shows; it does not "fix" problems. Chekhov said the writer's job is to show problems, not solve them. All in all, I think the poem strains too much at making a point that is far better made through writing an essay. The poem should draw attention to its own words, not to some idea that is beyond itself. Because of this, the poem forces rhymes that do not sound natural and forces a narrative that seems somewhat contrived and awkward. I would suggest you try to write a much smaller poem in which your "message" (Oh, how I hate that word!) is conveyed by showing rather than directing. I say this in all kindness because I think you are talented with language, and I think you can do better than this. I know you can. I would love to see what you come up with.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016
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Poetry is not supposed to direct the reader to act a certain way. Poetry shows; it does not "fix" problems. Chekhov said the writer's job is to show problems, not solve them. All in all, I think the poem strains too much at making a point that is far better made through writing an essay. The poem should draw attention to its own words, not to some idea that is beyond itself. Because of this, the poem forces rhymes that do not sound natural and forces a narrative that seems somewhat contrived and awkward. I would suggest you try to write a much smaller poem in which your "message" (Oh, how I hate that word!) is conveyed by showing rather than directing. I say this in all kindness because I think you are talented with language, and I think you can do better than this. I know you can. I would love to see what you come up with.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016
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this is a free verse poem. it is not suppose to rhyme. Thank you for your opinion. Why doesn't Poetry fix problems? In my life poetry has been the very best therapy i have ever had. Free verse is a combo of an essay and poetry. That is my favorite way of writing but I do understand that you have a different opinion about what poetry is. Take look at my portfolio and you will see. Take care. Hope to see you soon.
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Thank you for your kind response. I hope you understand I was not trying to hurt your feelings in any way. Thank you. I would very much like to see your other work. Where can I see it?
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem. Men are important to women in many ways but the most important role they have to fulfill is to protect their families at all cost.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016
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A very well-written poem. Men are important to women in many ways but the most important role they have to fulfill is to protect their families at all cost.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016
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Men are men and we need to acknowledge that. Yes we have come a long way s women but we need to respect our men and the adjustments they have made to let us be the best we can be.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
An excellent contest entry. You should do well. It seems to meet all the requirements for this contest. Good luck. I hope you win.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016
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An excellent contest entry. You should do well. It seems to meet all the requirements for this contest. Good luck. I hope you win.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016
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thank you Thomas. Men are men and we need to acknowledge that. Yes we have come a long way s women but we need to respect our men and the adjustments they have made to let us be the best we can be.
Comment from RYME4U
This well written poem bears a great message. To so many of us, it seems like women have taken over. WE still need our men! You have expressed this thought well here. Great job!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2016
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This well written poem bears a great message. To so many of us, it seems like women have taken over. WE still need our men! You have expressed this thought well here. Great job!
Comment Written 04-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2016
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thank you so much . I am so happy you understood. I just had another poor review which said that I was generalizing men. Oh well I was just writing. You got my message and that means the world to me.
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So many of these reviewers believe that every word you write is true. Once I wrote a humor poem about a gay man who "didn't know know which way to
turn" Got a very irate review that said I was homophobic and that he had some gay friends that were offended.
Don't be offended. You are a good writer and those who make negative comments are just nit picking.
Comment from RodG
I know a lot of women on this site will likely agree with your bio of men, but you tend to generalize and stereotype. I am glad you focus most of your poem on YOUR man who seems like a gem. But is it necessary to veer off track and editorialize about women?
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2016
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I know a lot of women on this site will likely agree with your bio of men, but you tend to generalize and stereotype. I am glad you focus most of your poem on YOUR man who seems like a gem. But is it necessary to veer off track and editorialize about women?
Comment Written 04-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2016
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thank you for your honest opinion. And I agree with you. I am not sure what you mean but I would like to know
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I am not sure what you wish to know. I would revise this by keeping the focus totally on men or YOUR man. Don't mention women's changing roles that men need to acknowledge.
