Tin Cup
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "High On The Mountain"An American Civil War vet heads west.
10 total reviews
Comment from HarlanDrusky
Nice chapter and well written with imagery and a concise story-telling effort. It's obvious you have knowledge of the things you are talking about and this helps the reader to gain confidence in you. I haven't read the other chapters but I like the setting and, so far, the characters. They seem genuine and appear to have some sort of struggle waiting to come to resolution. Thanks.
Hal
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2016
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Nice chapter and well written with imagery and a concise story-telling effort. It's obvious you have knowledge of the things you are talking about and this helps the reader to gain confidence in you. I haven't read the other chapters but I like the setting and, so far, the characters. They seem genuine and appear to have some sort of struggle waiting to come to resolution. Thanks.
Hal
Comment Written 03-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2016
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Thank you for reading. I appreciate your kind comments.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Another great chapter, as usual. Your writing style is very effective. You have good use of dialog and a flow that is easy to follow. Your characters work nicely together.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2016
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Another great chapter, as usual. Your writing style is very effective. You have good use of dialog and a flow that is easy to follow. Your characters work nicely together.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2016
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Thank you for your continuing support. I appreciate the feedback.
Comment from Heidi M
Well-written chapter. I could sympathize with his fears and worries for Helga. He has a right to be concerned. You did a nice job with the willow bark tea and fresh snow references.
One suggestion for this sentence:
'I should have tried to get as much sleep while I still could' When you use 'as much', there needs to be another 'as' in the sentence. Perhaps this would work: 'I should have tried to get more sleep while I still could.'
One spag:
'is she suppose(d) to let'
Nice job on this chapter! I enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2016
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Well-written chapter. I could sympathize with his fears and worries for Helga. He has a right to be concerned. You did a nice job with the willow bark tea and fresh snow references.
One suggestion for this sentence:
'I should have tried to get as much sleep while I still could' When you use 'as much', there needs to be another 'as' in the sentence. Perhaps this would work: 'I should have tried to get more sleep while I still could.'
One spag:
'is she suppose(d) to let'
Nice job on this chapter! I enjoyed it.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2016
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Thank you for reading and for your suggestions. I don't know how I missed the first thing you pointed out. It should have been "tried to get as much sleep 'as possible' while I still could". I've changed it. I also added the missing 'd' you pointed out I needed. For some reason I frequently get that wrong even though I know better. It seems I sometimes think one thing and type something else somehow. Then I don't catch my mistakes when I proofread. I appreciate the help and feedback.
Comment from LaRosa
Oh, my gosh, what a wealth of information here. The author knows his stuff about herbs and ancient traditional medicines. I was fascinated to realize that snow might be stored by adding straw! And the fever wort and willow bark. Had heard of these but now wish I could harvest the stuff myself.
This is not only well written, fast moving, interesting (holding the reader's attention), it is educational.
I only found the following typo:
"It became quite elusive...
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2016
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Oh, my gosh, what a wealth of information here. The author knows his stuff about herbs and ancient traditional medicines. I was fascinated to realize that snow might be stored by adding straw! And the fever wort and willow bark. Had heard of these but now wish I could harvest the stuff myself.
This is not only well written, fast moving, interesting (holding the reader's attention), it is educational.
I only found the following typo:
"It became quite elusive...
Comment Written 02-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2016
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Thank you for your kind review and for catching my typo. No one else has caught that one. I appreciate the help.
Comment from heisemg
Thank you for another chapter in your book so quickly after the last. Well written and researched. You keep us on the edge of seats as you end each one with us wondering what will happen next.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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Thank you for another chapter in your book so quickly after the last. Well written and researched. You keep us on the edge of seats as you end each one with us wondering what will happen next.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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Thank you for continuing to read my story. Sometimes I'm not sure what is going to happen next. I never really intended to get this far. I appreciate the feedback. It lets me know if I'm keeping up with any expectations.
Comment from royowen
Apparently Helga has some sort of fever from the childbirth, and Oota is worried so she commissions Jess to go and fetch a special plant to make medicine to help with the fever, as the fever can kill, it takes him five hours to obtain it. Now going back... Well done, great episode, blessings, Roy
Typo : I ran outside to saddle(d) my horse
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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Apparently Helga has some sort of fever from the childbirth, and Oota is worried so she commissions Jess to go and fetch a special plant to make medicine to help with the fever, as the fever can kill, it takes him five hours to obtain it. Now going back... Well done, great episode, blessings, Roy
Typo : I ran outside to saddle(d) my horse
Comment Written 01-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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Thank you for catching that for me. It was originally 'and saddled' but I guess the 'd' got left behind when I changed it. I appreciate the feedback.
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My pleasure
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent. One small error, it should be I went to (saddle) my horse, no to (saddled) my horse. Otherwise, it is perfect and a very nicely done story.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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Excellent. One small error, it should be I went to (saddle) my horse, no to (saddled) my horse. Otherwise, it is perfect and a very nicely done story.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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Thank you for catching that for me. It was originally 'and saddled' but I guess the 'd' got left behind when I changed it. I appreciate the feedback.
Comment from Stephanie Burster
I have not read the pieces prior to this writing but will definitely do so. I found the characters engaging and the dialogue smooth. Living in a society where women become seriously ill after birth is not that prevalent although I myself nearly died after giving birth to my daughter as the doctor did not get all the after birth from my body. I was sick for some months and so can relate, although my husband wasn't making me bark tea. I look forward to catching up with the story
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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I have not read the pieces prior to this writing but will definitely do so. I found the characters engaging and the dialogue smooth. Living in a society where women become seriously ill after birth is not that prevalent although I myself nearly died after giving birth to my daughter as the doctor did not get all the after birth from my body. I was sick for some months and so can relate, although my husband wasn't making me bark tea. I look forward to catching up with the story
Comment Written 01-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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It has gotten quite a bit better but, as you obviously know, it can still be dangerous having a baby. I think what happened to you was one of the more common reasons for mothers dying. That and lack of basic sanitation. Thank you for reading. I appreciate the feedback.
Comment from Dustybones
Glad I caught the continuation of Hilga and Jess. I like the first person format. You give me a feel of being right there in the cold, packing snow to help the fever.
Have a good day,
Dusty
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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Glad I caught the continuation of Hilga and Jess. I like the first person format. You give me a feel of being right there in the cold, packing snow to help the fever.
Have a good day,
Dusty
Comment Written 01-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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Thank you for reading and for the feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed my story.
Comment from c_lucas
The Native American Tribe were well verse in Organic Medicine plants especially. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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The Native American Tribe were well verse in Organic Medicine plants especially. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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And I don't think they ever thought bleeding was a good idea to heal anyone the way Europeans seemed to. Their "maternity hospitals" killed a lot of women with childbed fever. Thank you so much for your feedback.
