Comment from Liberty Justice

Exceptional

Congratulations good luck on contest I just viewed. Ooh such divine photo and literary analogies of beautiful descriptive verses so lovely and spiritual.liberty justice

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017

Liberty Justice,

Thank you for your review, very kind comments, six star rating and best wishes, they are greatly appreciated. May the Lord continue to bless and keep you in His loving care. Portia

Comment from harriswilliam

Good

Pour yourself into your poetry, force us to feel when we don't want to, control us with your words. I think that you can become an excellent poet and this is a good start.

I wish you the best as poet.

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017

Thank you for your review and very kind comments Blessings...................

reply by harriswilliam on 07-Jan-2017

You're welcome.

Comment from Poetic Candice

Good

It is evident that you're talking about your mom here, if she recently passed, accept my condolences. I write a lot about my mom also. I felt the connection and loved the illustration and personification used.

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017

Thanks so much for your review, very kind comments and condolences for the recent loss of my mother, they are greatly appreciated. Blessings.......

Comment from wilkswrites

Excellent

I love it. I pray that God sends a dove or an angel or something nice to collect us. One of my students' mother recently passed away. Just before she closed her eyes, she screamed that there were snakes coming for her. Creepy. You did a good job on this. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017

Oh my goodness, to leave this earth screaming snakes were coming for her is very creepy.

My mom made her transition on 12/21/2016, this poem was written before the thought of her passing even entered my mind. It was sudden and she did not suffer; all her children were there except one, the ones who did not take the time to call her or spend time with her when she was alive, they were there. I am not sure if she was aware if we were there or not.

After making the arrangements and called to view her body, she was simply beautiful and looked nothing like the frail and tired mother that I say every week at church. She was 91 years old, she didn't have a wrinkle in her face and looked maybe 60 years young as if she was just sleeping finally at peace.

The picture inspired me to write this poem, I edited and replaced the word "mom" where I had the word her.

Thanks so much my friend for your review and very kind comments, they are greatly appreciated. Blessings....

Comment from Mystic Angel 7777

Excellent

I may be reading the rules wrong so I am going with five stars in case I am dumb LOL. I count 17 syllables in your second couplet and the description of the form says each should be between 14 and 16 syllables. Regardless this is a beautifully penned piece but you do have a small typo:
"she remain still" - I think you intended 'remains' here.
I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017

Thank you for your very kind review, and you are absolutely correct, my syllable count was off. When I edited my poem I change the word from "is still" to "remain still" and threw my count off. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I penned this poem way before my mom got her wings. The picture inspired the write, where I had the word "her" I replaced it with "mom." Thanks for catching the error. Blessings......

Comment from DionysusDeVille

Excellent

A beautifully written piece that almost feels like a clever way of learning to let go of a family member that has passed

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2017

Thanks so much for your review and very kind comments. Blessings........................

Comment from mvbrooks

Excellent

How sad and overwhelming it can be to lose a parent and how comforting it can be to know they are safe in heaven. The dove is used over and over in the bible as a symbol of piece. So as you have your mother earn heavenly wings, what a powerful image to image a dove, sent directly from God, guiding her home.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2017

Thank you for your review and very kind comments, they are greatly appreciated. Blessings......

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a very interesting format of poetry you penned. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with the picture. Best wishes in the contest. Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 05-Jan-2017

Teri,

Thanks so much for your review and best wishes. Blessings......

Comment from Tsukuyomi969

Excellent

This was really soothing to me, I don't know why. This is my first time encountering this type of poetry but I thought you did well, and the picture suits it perfectly. Good luck in the contest. Cheers.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017

Thanks so much for your very kind review and comments...Its very comforting to me, because I just lost my mother. Blessings....