Nanny Diaries-BEEP BEEP BEEP!
Coffee, bear claws & a mallet through a friend's car window19 total reviews
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
I do so much love Bruni and you make sure you tell her I love her attitude.lol
What a piece of writing and you do it so well with such ease. No problems noted except my laughing. I love the interjected humor at intervals and Brunis addition. do you know this is listed twice?
'with my grand(son) now approaching...'
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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I do so much love Bruni and you make sure you tell her I love her attitude.lol
What a piece of writing and you do it so well with such ease. No problems noted except my laughing. I love the interjected humor at intervals and Brunis addition. do you know this is listed twice?
'with my grand(son) now approaching...'
Comment Written 01-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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Hi Barb, thank you for your RR&R and catch. I felt I would just use 'grand' there, but since you are the second person to comment on it, I went ahead and added the son. I felt I had overused grandson throughout the read, but it was likely needed so not to confuse the situation. I appreciate your continued review and Bruni said to tell you she loves you right back!
I did not know it listed twice, likely because when I went back in and added the youtube video, I had to place it in preview? It seems to be only listed once now. I think the FS computer system is in need of revamping, or at least upgrades. Thanks again, much appreciated!
Comment from LaRosa
I may be wrong, but I think that after "happy occasions" you should use a colon (:)
BECAUSE - a semi-colon is used to connect 2 full/complete sentences that relate and support each other. A colon is used to list things/ideas that do not come in sentence form (like, verb, noun at the least).
Of course, maybe you hit the colon and the Shift Key didn't hold...??? If so, sorry...
"serial shooter" LOVE IT
(after the second time at mallet, think I'd have moved THE CAR!)
ah Ha:
"close friend: a bear claw danish, or two, or three.
(there's that colon/semi-colon thing)
"coordinate time together; because it's rare and special,
OR just make 2 sentences out of it. The second half could be used with
a semi-colon because the subject is 'it' and the verb 'is' = it's
"...two wooden, six foot
"They were lying on the gravel.
Paragraph 6 "My friend,...................... is enormously long for one sentence. Can
you break it up? Make 2-3 sentences out of it???
"...foreseeing...and preventing
"After-all,
"...grand/child/son ?
"...front wind shield
"as (it) whizzed by my head
"...inside the car, along with
"off that final 1 off.. Which word 'off' do you want to keep?
"sanitizing,
"And the final clincher on this story?
Just have to say a 'few' things I love about your story telling. You are so very creative, where does it come from?
ex) drunken monkey on a tight rope
ex) your constant, ceaseless build-up to the crescendo moment in the story.
So, the '3-2-1' moment is the rest-build up (as I see it) to potential
explosion. So cool!
Here you (we) were worried about the mallet and the car. Then you go and destroy it! How marvelous to have a friend who sees your child as the most important !
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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I may be wrong, but I think that after "happy occasions" you should use a colon (:)
BECAUSE - a semi-colon is used to connect 2 full/complete sentences that relate and support each other. A colon is used to list things/ideas that do not come in sentence form (like, verb, noun at the least).
Of course, maybe you hit the colon and the Shift Key didn't hold...??? If so, sorry...
"serial shooter" LOVE IT
(after the second time at mallet, think I'd have moved THE CAR!)
ah Ha:
"close friend: a bear claw danish, or two, or three.
(there's that colon/semi-colon thing)
"coordinate time together; because it's rare and special,
OR just make 2 sentences out of it. The second half could be used with
a semi-colon because the subject is 'it' and the verb 'is' = it's
"...two wooden, six foot
"They were lying on the gravel.
Paragraph 6 "My friend,...................... is enormously long for one sentence. Can
you break it up? Make 2-3 sentences out of it???
"...foreseeing...and preventing
"After-all,
"...grand/child/son ?
"...front wind shield
"as (it) whizzed by my head
"...inside the car, along with
"off that final 1 off.. Which word 'off' do you want to keep?
"sanitizing,
"And the final clincher on this story?
Just have to say a 'few' things I love about your story telling. You are so very creative, where does it come from?
ex) drunken monkey on a tight rope
ex) your constant, ceaseless build-up to the crescendo moment in the story.
So, the '3-2-1' moment is the rest-build up (as I see it) to potential
explosion. So cool!
Here you (we) were worried about the mallet and the car. Then you go and destroy it! How marvelous to have a friend who sees your child as the most important !
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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Hi LaRosa, I haven't received a four in a while, so it was a wake up call. I thank you for your thorough review that took quite a bit of time and effort. I very much appreciate your honesty, and have made the suggested changes and corrected the errors. I need to do a better job of editing so my reviewers don't have to. To answer your question, I have no idea where it comes from--Brunhilda likes to take all of the credit. I'm sure it is a collection of all my experiences from the earliest memories. Have a wonderful day.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Hilarious as usual. Do ever have a day when nothing goes wrong. Thank's a stupid question. I've read your stories, I know you don't.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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Hilarious as usual. Do ever have a day when nothing goes wrong. Thank's a stupid question. I've read your stories, I know you don't.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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Hi Thomas, thank you for your RR&R and great comments. What can I say, I'm a magnet for disaster, it would seem! Thank you sho much for your review. I even threw a legitimate f-bomb in!
Comment from Gloria ....
Haaa, I love how you are able to take a pretty serious crisis and turn it into sheer humour, well if you twist your tongue just the right way, after a few beer and hours have passed.
YIKES, what a story. It is a lot harder to break a vehicle's windows than one might think. Same goes with house windows.
Great job with this Mary. Thank goodness we got the play by play from Brunnie.
Gloria
PS: There was some anonymous questioner of the Stew Pot the other day asking about fooooooooking. That wouldn't have been you by chance, would it? ;-)
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2016
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Haaa, I love how you are able to take a pretty serious crisis and turn it into sheer humour, well if you twist your tongue just the right way, after a few beer and hours have passed.
YIKES, what a story. It is a lot harder to break a vehicle's windows than one might think. Same goes with house windows.
Great job with this Mary. Thank goodness we got the play by play from Brunnie.
Gloria
PS: There was some anonymous questioner of the Stew Pot the other day asking about fooooooooking. That wouldn't have been you by chance, would it? ;-)
Comment Written 30-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2016
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Haha, hi there Gloria! Thank you for your wonderful review and for taking the time to read one of my stories. I appreciate you! Yep, that was m'aw...I thought it would be a nice addition since I get a little pushback on the fooooooking word from a few of the reviewers ...Thomas being one of them. Have a wonderful evening, and thanks again for stopping by! :D
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
The last sentence is the worst! LOL! All of that for nothing. This is a memory you really didn't need, isn't it? I suggest you do two things: 1) Delete that app. 2) Buy an extra fob for your (and suggest it to your friend) because lightning actually DOES strike twice in the same place, because it knows a fooooooking sucker when it sees one. :)
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2016
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The last sentence is the worst! LOL! All of that for nothing. This is a memory you really didn't need, isn't it? I suggest you do two things: 1) Delete that app. 2) Buy an extra fob for your (and suggest it to your friend) because lightning actually DOES strike twice in the same place, because it knows a fooooooking sucker when it sees one. :)
Comment Written 30-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2016
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Hi Phyllis, LOL, it wasn't my fob in question, my friend owned it and threw it in her purse on the passenger seat once she unlocked the car. :D I was down to one fob at the time, because my son's dog ate it when I let him borrow the car. Have you ever heard a fob muffled by a dogs indigestion track? LOL. Thank you for your RR&R and continued interest in my work. So very appreciated!
Comment from damommy
What could have been a tragedy turned into a written comedy. Good work. I don't know what a FOB is, but I assume it's what opens the car door.
I had to break a car window once, and it is no easy task. Like you, I bounded around like a Ping-Pong ball. I only weighed about 98 lbs. at the time. Took me several tries. Thank God that no one was trapped inside.
What a story. Loved it. 8-)
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2016
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What could have been a tragedy turned into a written comedy. Good work. I don't know what a FOB is, but I assume it's what opens the car door.
I had to break a car window once, and it is no easy task. Like you, I bounded around like a Ping-Pong ball. I only weighed about 98 lbs. at the time. Took me several tries. Thank God that no one was trapped inside.
What a story. Loved it. 8-)
Comment Written 30-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2016
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Hi Yvonne, before I forget, did you receive my emails last night? Just making sure.
Thank you for your RR&R on this one. I just attached a Youtube video that shows a fob and another toddler delighting in the funny sound they make, which will perfectly describe the gadget. Thank heaven it wasn't summer in Arizona when it happened. I would not have hesitated calling 911 in that case. I so appreciate your continued follow and your RR&R on this story. Thank you. Have a wonderful evening!
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Yes, I did receive your emails. Sorry. I should have said so. Thank you. Maybe I'll learn how to do it now. 8-)
Comment from royowen
I remember locking my keys in the car when my little 2 year old daughter was still in the car, I don't know what had come over, the temperature was cling to the 40 deg. Celsius Mark, (105 deg. Fahrenheit) why don't you get the same temperature readings? Our local automobiles association, will get there in 15 mins if this happens, and they did, 5 minutes,. But well done, this sounds worse than that, I'm glad you got the little time out, having a marvellous time in the process, well done, Mary, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2016
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I remember locking my keys in the car when my little 2 year old daughter was still in the car, I don't know what had come over, the temperature was cling to the 40 deg. Celsius Mark, (105 deg. Fahrenheit) why don't you get the same temperature readings? Our local automobiles association, will get there in 15 mins if this happens, and they did, 5 minutes,. But well done, this sounds worse than that, I'm glad you got the little time out, having a marvellous time in the process, well done, Mary, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 30-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2016
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Hi Roy, thank you for your RR&R on this story and continued interest in my work. It is so very appreciated. I live in AZ and we go by Fahrenheit, AZ fahrenheit temps must be close to simulating hell in the summer! Are you located in Europe? Thank you again for your kind review and for your blessings. I appreciate you, Roy. Have a great evening!
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No, in Australia Mary, similar weather to California, we changed to metric, Celsius and decimal currency in 1966, well done
Comment from Heidi M
Oh, my word! Have you and your friend gone out for coffee since? This was a scary story and I am so thankful it ended up okay, other than a lotta blood. You managed to put your wonderful brand of humor in here.
Some of my favorites:
window had been manufactured with kryptonite by ninja Korean auto makers
my bear claw-enhanced right hip
Brunhilda piped in it was her, not the window talking
Spags:
wors(t) possible
three strikes and you('re) out
respons(ib)le
ten min(u)tes
final cl(i)ncher
Suggestion:
ProWritingAid website suggests no sentences over thirty words long. Your first sentence is forty-nine words. It didn't bother me the way it is written, but you might want to consider breaking it into two sentences.
Nice job on this post. Like I said, I'm glad it had a happy ending!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2016
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Oh, my word! Have you and your friend gone out for coffee since? This was a scary story and I am so thankful it ended up okay, other than a lotta blood. You managed to put your wonderful brand of humor in here.
Some of my favorites:
window had been manufactured with kryptonite by ninja Korean auto makers
my bear claw-enhanced right hip
Brunhilda piped in it was her, not the window talking
Spags:
wors(t) possible
three strikes and you('re) out
respons(ib)le
ten min(u)tes
final cl(i)ncher
Suggestion:
ProWritingAid website suggests no sentences over thirty words long. Your first sentence is forty-nine words. It didn't bother me the way it is written, but you might want to consider breaking it into two sentences.
Nice job on this post. Like I said, I'm glad it had a happy ending!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2016
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Oh Heidi, I am so embarrassed to have so many errors. Thank you so much for catching them and advising. I appreciate you so much. I don't know what my problem is, but it is something I certainly need to get under wraps. I appreciate your generous review and the extra time it took to provide edits for the story. I will take a look at the sentence your referenced. I was not aware of that suggestion. I need to check out the site. I'm out of reviewer nominations, but have made a note to nominate the minute they are replenished. Have a wonderful evening.
Comment from Sasha
Thanks for the laughter. Aside from not knowing what an FOB is, I found this to be one of the funniest stories every told. I am still laughing and just love your hysterical descriptions of everything that happened. Terrific work with this and definite a 6'er in my book.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2016
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Thanks for the laughter. Aside from not knowing what an FOB is, I found this to be one of the funniest stories every told. I am still laughing and just love your hysterical descriptions of everything that happened. Terrific work with this and definite a 6'er in my book.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2016
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Hi Sasha, thank you so much for your RR&R and wonderful SIX! I just added a Youtube that perfectly describes a FOB as presented by another wee one delighted by the noise it makes :D I so appreciate you as a constant and loyal reviewer, Sasha.
Thank you! Have a great evening!
