Comment from RGstar

Excellent

Good rendition of the form with 8 syllables. It does restrict the room a little in consideration to Shakespeare's 10, but you did well, with this story-like Sonnet.
My best wishes.
Rgstar

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016

Thanks so much. One day I'm gonna try the sonnet again, it's a form I've never been able to wrap my head around. The strict adherence to meter scares me.

That means I'll write a poem in sonnet format.

Thanks again.

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

Nice write Luna you have a wonderful way with words i must say. Very appropriate photo accompanying your write. Thanks for sharing

dip

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016

Dear dip:

Thanks for the kind review. I apologize for my tardiness.

Thanks for your attention to my writing.

To the Moon and Back!

Comment from Oatmeal

Excellent

Luna,

I like this theme very much. I also like the style. Your arrangement looks very nice.
Well chosen words, colorful arrangement and wonderfully decorated thoughts.
Very enchanted atmosphere, non-judgmental and very enjoyable.

There was no SPAG. No room for improvement.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal

 Comment Written 01-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016

Thanks for your kind review of my poem, Oatmeal. I do appreciate it! Thanks for reading my stuff...*smile*

luna

Comment from Giggles0630

Excellent

Mystical and magical and mysterious and playful. As the reader, my curiosity was piqued and I want to hear more about the queen and her land and what will come next. Loved it!!

 Comment Written 01-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016

Thanks so much for reading my work and for this review. I appreciate your attention to my work and I apologize for not replying sooner!

luna

Comment from Thal1959

Excellent

Very well written with good rhymes and a smooth beat that cannot be lost. This work is a bit too brief, which attests to its quality as it leaves the reader wanting more. My only suggestion would have been to expand it a stanza or two to either explain why the queen has disappeared, or what may cause her to return someday. Other than that, very interesting and delightful. Thanks.

 Comment Written 01-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016

Thanks so much for reading my work and for this review. I appreciate your attention to my work and I apologize for not replying sooner!

luna

reply by Thal1959 on 06-Dec-2016

You're welcome.

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Hi, Jeni. I haave to tell you, if I haven't already, you write some fantastic poetry! Your rhymes are perfect matches and it seems like it comes so easy to you.

"Deep in the land of mystic elves,
great books of magic sit untouched."

Great stuff. Brilliant! Blessings, Bob

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2016

Comment from Janet Foor

Excellent

The Kyrielle Sonnet is a delightful form with many possibilities for the poet to explore. I like repeating lines as they emphasis the theme and drive home the message.

Well done Jeni.

Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016

Thanks so much for reading my work and for this review. I appreciate your attention to my work and I apologize for not replying sooner!

luna

Comment from Irish Rain

Excellent

Just wonderful....MAGICAL!!! My favorite type of poem. I also love the Kyrielle form, I like the repeating pattern. poor Queen, soon to return I hope!!! Blessings...

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016

Thanks so much for reading my work and for this review. I appreciate your attention to my work and I apologize for not replying sooner, Irish Rain!

luna

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

Yet another lovely poem, Luna. I think this one would also suit children, they would want to read those books of magic. You are such a talented poet, Luna, I'm so glad you came back and started writing again. Well done, my friend. :) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016

Thanks so much for reading my work and for this review. I appreciate your attention to my work and I apologize for not replying sooner!

luna

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

With the best part of 43% of the poem given over to repeats we are not left with much to develop the theme. This is one of the reasons I am not a fan of the kyrielle sonnet.

The beloved queen of the elves has been spirited away, probably at the hands of the wicked witch and she has been gone some time. As a result the books of magic remain untouched.

There seem to be an awful lot of loose ends here. I wonder if you have chosen the right form for what is essentially a narrative poem. I have just finished preparing my forthcoming course on rhyme (starts 7th January) and part of one of my lessons is about choosing the form appropriate to the theme. This would be a wonderful poem for the class to discuss.

I think you have done amazingly well given the restrictions of the form, mind you, but you chose the form.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016

True that, I did indeed choose the form!

Thanks so much for reading my work and for this review. I appreciate your attention to my work and I apologize for not replying sooner!

luna