Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This haiku has a chilling sense about it. The whispering exhaust from the witch, along with the gasp one would produce upon seeing a huge orb peering through the window, raise this piece to a state of paranoiac panic.

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2016

---

reply by the author on 22-Nov-2016

Thank you very much for following along with our Gothic story told in hora haiku poetry, Bill.
Both Gypsy Blue Rose and I appreciate the fact that you are.
Take care, my friend, and thanks again for your feedback, as well as your time.
~Dean :}

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Dean,
This is a great haiku for your book. I like the art & the font style. Good job on the alliteration, too.

Your story continues is a great way. Each 'chapter' adds more meaning & is a joy to read.

Good job. Looking forward to the next installment. Jan

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2016

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Exceptional

Dean! That sound was really scary! LoL I love it!

Okay, you know how I feel about haiku and about horror haiku. This one is awesome. I love the white color scheme, it's so unlike you but made you made it work. Who knew? White? It works for you. I tell you, Dean, you have the Midas touch.

Well done!

Gypsy

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2016

Comment from write hand blue

Excellent

The haiku story continues. I can only imagine the problems in writing horror of a this consistent high quality. I haven't read it all as a single read yet.

I can picture that 'nefarious Naamah' and what an impact she would make with modern animation...

~Mel~

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2016

Comment from krys123

Excellent

Hello dandy dia
-Chuckle!
-I really liked your use of alliteration and these were tough ones. Phew!
-I love the picture of the dragons I looking and peering through the window hole.
That was looking at me every time I need to do my magic I'd be underneath the bed or the table.
-Good use of the alliteration in your first, second and last lines. I guess you utilize all the alliteration for every word except for maybe two.
-Thank you for the authors note that healthy keeping together with the story.
-Also, thanks for sharing and posting and take care and have a good one wherever you can always find it.
Alex.

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2016

---

reply by the author on 17-Nov-2016

Thanks for reading.
~Dean

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Plenty of alliteration working well in this Horror Haiku Dean.
Love the eye peering through the key hole watching, waiting.
Story going well,
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2016

---

reply by the author on 17-Nov-2016

Thanks for continuing to follow along, Pearl.
Ich bin sehr dankbar fur Ihre Kommentare.
~Dean

Comment from trimple

Excellent

Hello there, Deano.

OO err!! That's very creepy.

Tis a menacing thought that we are 'watched' especially by something that breathes chill to the soul.

Nefarias Naamah. What a great name! Is the dragon behind the closed door, the witch in disguise?

Super stuff!

Excellent terse language

Iv'e been absent from the sight for quite some time now, and what do you do when I return? Scare the living daylights outa me!

I see that you and another accomplished writer here on on the site are in the process of compiling a Gothic horror haiku book. What a unique idea!

Good luck

kind regards

trimple

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2016

---

reply by the author on 17-Nov-2016

Thanks a bunch for reading and reviewing this, "T".
Warmest regards,
~Dean

reply by trimple on 17-Nov-2016

and the witch?

reply by the author on 17-Nov-2016

Yes, the "dragon" is Naamah, the witch, and Mirela's mother.
It's also the kigo for the haiku ("dragons in haiku poetry pertain to events occurring during the spring).
Thanks again.

reply by trimple on 17-Nov-2016

Ah!

As I've been away, I had no idea about your characters. So I wasn t sure if the dragons eye peering through the door was the witch :)

cheers Dean.

Look forward to the next

tracey

reply by the author on 17-Nov-2016

There are links to a brief synopsis and previous chaprets in my author's notes, Tracey.
It may help you catch up, and you don't have to review them.
They're there for people just like yourself who may have came in late to the story.

reply by trimple on 17-Nov-2016

I'll check em out :)

Cheers u, Deano

Comment from Sis Cat

Excellent

Yes, yes, yes. A fine narrative haiku. I enjoy what you and Gypsy are doing with these. I found them to be quite ingenious. Haiku is so compact that each one is like several scenes from a novel or movie. Hear you contrast the image of evil--"wily witch watches"--with innocence--"her child's somber slumber." You make effective use of alliteration in all three lines and move your story forward. I wonder what "nefarious Naamah" will cook up next.

Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2016

---

reply by the author on 17-Nov-2016

You will just have to stick around and see, Andre.
Thanks very much for your thoughtful response.
Both Gypsy Blue Rose and I certainly appreciate it,
Dean

Comment from Irish Rain

Excellent

More sound! I'll have to remember that! I love the story-line here, I didn't realize Mirela's mother was an evil witch, and that's why Mirela is running. Awesome...and now she's watching her sleep!!! oOOOoooOO...great haiku!!!

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2016

---

reply by the author on 17-Nov-2016

Hi, Judy, and thanks so much for following along with the story.
Both Gypsy Blue Rose and I certainly appreciate it.
Take care.
~Dean

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

Thanks for sharing another fine chapter from the Deandom of Hora Haiku. Letting us read along until we pull the covered up over our heads and pray for morning to come. :-)

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2016

---

reply by the author on 17-Nov-2016

Thanks for following the story, Ric.
Much obliged.
~Dean