Reviews from

GULBRANDR- God's Sword

Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Taken"
A child is born who will be a champion

13 total reviews 
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
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I hate starting a story in the middle so when I saw chapter 15 posted last week I marked this as a read to look into. I am glad I did. I'm off to chapter two. I may not comment on every chapter as I catch up, but I am eager to see where the story goes from here. This looks like it will be very good.

 Comment Written 03-May-2018


reply by the author on 03-May-2018
    Thank you so much. No don't feel you have to comment on each chapter. I totally understand. I do the same thing, get hooked on a story half way thru and go back to read the rest and don't comment on it. That is fine, I do hope you will enjoy it. Thank you again. Rox
reply by w.j.debi on 03-May-2018
    I am enjoying it. I am up to chapter 10, but need to take a break. I'll fan you so I can find it.
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Excellent
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Where indeed does Nyla go from here?
What a clever hook ending because now I really want to know the answer.
I loved the story, felt Nylas emotions and worried for her and with her.
Bring on chapter 2.
:-) Shirley

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2018
    I'm so glad you are enjoying it. I really had no idea where I was going with this when I started, I just had this idea in my head for a while and wanted to see if I could do something beside Super Pig. =} Though I do love my Super Pig. This just keeps unfolding in my head. I'm kind of amazed I'm doing this. I've been posting it on Facebook as well. It's nice people can come on the site just to read as a non-member. They are liking it too which really encourages me. Thank you so much Shirley.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
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I had to come back to read this first part. I don't know how I missed it, but I did. This was a great start for your story Roxie. I think I am going to like it. Anything to get me away from the reality of what goes on today! LOL Good job my friend. I am wondering why she had to give her baby boy away. That is heartbreaking. Well done, XX Nancy

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2016


reply by the author on 31-Dec-2016
    Thank you Nancy. How have you been? I've been away forever busy with my card shop but wanted to start writing again. I am publishing another children's book about Super Pig. Hope to have it out by Spring. Hope you have a happy new year. They are setting off fireworks around my house, so loud! I won't get much sleep tonight I don' t think. Rox
Comment from barkingdog
Excellent
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This is starting out as a very mysterious tale. A white haired baby born to a dark haired mother is given over to a stranger surrounded by light. The boy will be raised as a Wahalander (What ever that is ...)
Your characters are vibrant and the situation clear.
Now, I want to know more. Excellent opening. Created immediate interest.

:) e

 Comment Written 25-Nov-2016


reply by the author on 27-Nov-2016
    Thanks so much. =}
Comment from MelB
Excellent
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Hi Roxanna, this is a good start to the story with good dialogue. I think there are any different directions you can go with this.

 Comment Written 25-Nov-2016


reply by the author on 27-Nov-2016
    Thank you very much.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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Oh, you have to write more of this, Rox, it was so sad and so well written, I was hooked immediately. Who was the stranger, why did she give him her baby? So many questions that only you can answer. It was such a lovely start. Well done, now get that thinking cap on! xx Sandra xx

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2016


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
    Thanks so much Sandra. I already have part 2 written. =}
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Excellent
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Hello my friend, this is a well-written chapter you describe the characters very well along with the surroundings I enjoyed and will follow this story as it develops regards Jill

one typo below
ears snaked their way don't her cheeks into the corners of the mouth.

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2016


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
    Hi, Mrs. Happy Poet! How are you today?

    Thanks so much for the great review. I fixed my typo, thanks. Weird how can read something over and over and never see your typos. I have made some changes to the story on recommendations of another reviewer. I hope I made it better. I do have part 2 done, but want to go over it 100 times like I do all the stories. Hope you are doing well. Have a great evening or morning, whatever time it is for you. =} Rox
Comment from KjSilver
Excellent
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I liked the scene. Interesting to have a baby taken by strangers, or not strangers but friends or relatives of the boys father. It leaves an air of mystery.

Good writing.

Tears snaked their way don't her cheeks into the corners of the mouth. (snaked their way [down] her cheeks)

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2016


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
    Thank you, I fixed the typo. Thank you. I do have part 2 done already so I guess I know where I'm going. =} Have a Happy Thanksgiving.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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It sounds like it should be a series, it would be a pity to this enigmatic plot to ground, perhaps you could consult with Jay Squires or Cumbrian Lass, there are some excellent authors on site, I'm sure somebody will help, throw it on there but well done, excellent story, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2016


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
    Thank you so much. I do have part 2 done already so I guess I'm figuring it out. L always write this way. Just start and see where it goes, there a name for it, but I forget. =} Thank you again. Happy Thanksgiving.
reply by royowen on 23-Nov-2016
    Well done
Comment from winnona
Excellent
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A well-written beginning to your story. Your words flow easily and the story moves right along from the beginning to the end. The details and well-written characters brought the story to life as I read it.

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2016


reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
    Thank you so much. I already have part 2 done, but need to go over it a 1000 times before posting. Thanks again. Happy Thanksgiving.