Comment from davisr (Rhonda)

Excellent

Wow!! This is a wonderful story about a young man who has disappointed his mother because of his addiction. He thinks of her, and decides to make the decision to get help. This touched my heart in a way I can't even explain. Suffice it to say I've had to turn my back on my own adult son for the same reasons. It hurts so much, but I've done all I can. I pray every day that he makes the choice your character did!!

Thanks for the hope,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016

Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I'm glad the story touched you, and perhaps gave you hope about your son.
~patty~

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

You set the scene superbly here with the details about the diner, the sights and smells. The internal struggle unfolds with realism, leading to his final decision. I think 'nawwing' should probably be 'gnawing'. Nicely written for the contest.

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016

Thank you for your time to read and review. I have gone back and edited for 'gnawing.' I truly appreciate you pointing that out.
Your words and stars mean a great deal to me.
~patty

Comment from oliver818

Excellent

I enjoyed your story. I like the way you internalised the whole thing.

One little suggestion. The competition guidelines say it should be set at 4am, so you might want to mention that, and also add something about what circumstances lead to him being there at 4am. Just a suggestion.
Good luck with the competition!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016

Thank you for your time to read and review. I appreciate your kind words, and I will take your suggestions to heart.
~patty~