Reviews from

skittering leaves flee (haiku)

Run as fast as you can. Winter's coming.

96 total reviews 
Comment from Craigitar
Excellent
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Very descriptive with great imagery. Every syllable is well chosen and perfectly placed. The poem is alive with motion (skittering and scratching) and the ominous approach of winter. Great job. Luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2016

reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
    Yes, Craigitar, my "poem is alive with motion (skittering and scratching) and the ominous approach of winter." Thank you for your generous review and for wishing me success in the contest.
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi Andre,

Very good haiku here. I love the hunter/predator and victim/prey imagery cast up In this finely written piece. And the leaves are making a break for it.
Very good
G

 Comment Written 08-Nov-2016

reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
    Yes, those leaves make a break for it. My "hunter/predator and victim/prey imagery" is effective. Thanks, G., for your review.
Comment from joannakruk
Excellent
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Fantastic imagery expressed in this.piece. I visualise the autumn leaves taking on an almost victimized demeanor, as the upcoming demon of winter attempts to shun them away. perfect flow and expression. true to the haiku form. well done.

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2016

reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
    Yes, joannakruk, my haiku is like a horror movie in which skittering leaves flee in terror from the winter that stalks them. Thank you for your review of my poem which is "true to the haiku form."
Comment from DonandVicki
Excellent
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I can almost feel and see the autumn leaves sitter across the ice. Your word create a cold and vivid image of the comming winter.

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2016

reply by the author on 07-Nov-2016
    Thank you, DonandVicki, for your review. I am glad my words made you see the autumn leaves and feel the cold.
Comment from Jay Squires
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I don't generally take to Haikus, probably because I'm loquacious by nature, but your three lines create a tension between the impermanence of the dying of Fall and the cold imperviousness of winter. If the contest hasn't closed its door yet, I'd consider removing the Author Notes since some purists feel there should be nothing beyond the Haiku to convey the meaning. Just an FYI. I think it's too lovely to take a chance.

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2016

reply by the author on 07-Nov-2016
    Thank you, Jay, for your generous, six star review. Yes, I love the tension and, for the leaves, terror in this haiku. Thank you also for your suggestions on the author's notes: "leaves + doorway = haiku" which is the shortest author's notes I have given for a poem precisely because I feel the haiku should stand on its own. Thanks again.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2016
    Jay, I checked the entries of another haiku contest which closed this week and confirmed that most of them lacked author's notes and the ones that had them tend to receive fewer votes. I removed what little notes mine had. Thanks for the tip.
Comment from GabbyLew
Excellent
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I like this. The imagery is great. I get the satori in the last line. It looks at winter's approach from two interconnected yet distinct ways. I love the personification in skittering leaves flee and winter stalking autumn as both reinforce the relationship between the lines

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2016

reply by the author on 07-Nov-2016
    Thank you, GabbyLew, for your generous review of my haiku which personified leaves as fleeing winter. I appreciate it.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Excellent
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I love the word 'skittering' and have used it myself in a haiku ('lizard skitters') It is so descriptive for those with imagination. Yes I can see the leaves in the wind cluttering up the doorway as your haiku suggests. Giddy

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2016

reply by the author on 07-Nov-2016
    Thank you, Giddy, for your review. Yes, I love that word "skitter" and employed it here to great effect. Thanks again for reading.
Comment from Irish Rain
Excellent
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Excellent haiku for this contest! Love the word 'skittering', and the line 'winter stalks autumn.' Reads like a winner to me! Blessings....

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2016

reply by the author on 07-Nov-2016
    Thank you, Irish Rain, for your generous review and contest well wishes. I appreciate them. I love the word "skittering."
Comment from Winslow
Excellent
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Dear Sis Cat,

Autumn leaves swirl and cascade down, and as you say they are stalked by the advancing winter. Well expressed.

Warm regards,

Winslow

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2016

reply by the author on 07-Nov-2016
    Thank you, Winslow, for your generous review of my haiku about leaves stalked by winter. I appreciate it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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I always enjoy reading your poems and this poem is a perfect reason why I enjoy your work. The descriptions are powerful and to the point. Good job.

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2016

reply by the author on 07-Nov-2016
    Thank you, Barbara, for your review of my poem whose "descriptions are powerful and to the point."