Exotic Beauty
Come here little fly...5 total reviews
Comment from pharp
Mystery Poet,
Excellent job in the penning of this kyrielle. The first stanza set the stage then pulls the reader into this great poem. Excellent rhyming, meter and very smooth flow. A most enjoyable read. Thanks so much for sharing, best wishes to you in the contest. Blessings..............Portia
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2016
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Mystery Poet,
Excellent job in the penning of this kyrielle. The first stanza set the stage then pulls the reader into this great poem. Excellent rhyming, meter and very smooth flow. A most enjoyable read. Thanks so much for sharing, best wishes to you in the contest. Blessings..............Portia
Comment Written 06-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2016
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Thank you so much for your encouraging comments!
Comment from angel123
I enjoyed reading your interesting kyrielle poem. It flows well with an informative story about nature and your quatrains rhyme well with a good repeating sentence. I also like your artwork choice.
Angel123
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2016
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I enjoyed reading your interesting kyrielle poem. It flows well with an informative story about nature and your quatrains rhyme well with a good repeating sentence. I also like your artwork choice.
Angel123
Comment Written 06-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2016
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Thank you so much for your encouraging words.
Comment from RYME4U
Very well written. I learned something new from your poem (They sing)The rhyme and rhythm of this Kyrielle is excellent and the metaphoric comparison to a human lover is very clever, Excellent
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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Very well written. I learned something new from your poem (They sing)The rhyme and rhythm of this Kyrielle is excellent and the metaphoric comparison to a human lover is very clever, Excellent
Comment Written 31-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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Thank you!
Comment from kiwisteveh
Your Kyrielle is a little unusual in that the repeating line, the refrain, is not made the last line of the stanza. I know the instructions give you leeway to do this, but I don't think I have seen this before.
In fact I really like the feel and the rhythm your poem has, and the refrain line chosen is excellent 'Exotic beauty sets her trap'
The repetition gives a slightly hypnotic feel to the poem, suitable to the trap being set for the fly, seduced by the appearance, the 'heady perfume' and the singing. I'm not sure about the singing, but I suspect in real life the perfume would be far from attractive to us mere humans, although obviously alluring to flies.
Good entry for this contest. Good luck.
Steve
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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Your Kyrielle is a little unusual in that the repeating line, the refrain, is not made the last line of the stanza. I know the instructions give you leeway to do this, but I don't think I have seen this before.
In fact I really like the feel and the rhythm your poem has, and the refrain line chosen is excellent 'Exotic beauty sets her trap'
The repetition gives a slightly hypnotic feel to the poem, suitable to the trap being set for the fly, seduced by the appearance, the 'heady perfume' and the singing. I'm not sure about the singing, but I suspect in real life the perfume would be far from attractive to us mere humans, although obviously alluring to flies.
Good entry for this contest. Good luck.
Steve
Comment Written 31-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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Thank you for taking the time Riverview this. There's an article online from Science magazine entitled Venus Fly Traps Are Creepier Than We Thought that inspired this poem. Included he thought that the plant might actually sing...that is creepy!
Comment from Moon baby
Beautiful artwork to go along with this creative poem. Well written, well thought out. Nice flow and rhyming. Creative and sequenced perfectly. Very well done.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2016
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Beautiful artwork to go along with this creative poem. Well written, well thought out. Nice flow and rhyming. Creative and sequenced perfectly. Very well done.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2016
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Thank you. It was a challenge but a fun one!
