Comment from Pam (respa)

Exceptional

-Great image.
-Nancy was definitely out of it at the beginning.
-Good description of the scene running through her head;
it seemed very real.
-It was touching when she realized her mother was there and okay.
-Nancy's dream was good foreshadowing of what would occur if they didn't get out of the school.
-The witches have a very elaborate plan to bomb the place after a news conference; at least Bruce and some of the DDG heard the plans so they can make plans themselves, but time is short.
-I think we have to hope that while this is going on, that Emory is making some really good headway for his plan.
-I'm not sure how this small group of DDG and a few others are any match for what the witches have planned. I guess that is what we will learn.
-Two very minor things in the Background and Summary:
* While Tina begins helps Emory Settler
* about who's side [whose]

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016

Thank you, Pam, for the beautiful stars!!
You're right on the foreshadowing of things that could be if the Girls and their friends can't stop the flow of evil.
Enter Tina and her phone calls to get help...

Thanks for all you do,
Rhonda

reply by Pam (respa) on 04-Nov-2016

You are very welcome, Rhonda. I imagine that Tina and her being able to get Emory is going to combat the evil. I am anxious to see exactly what he has planned!

Comment from rspoet

Exceptional

The witches seem more like terrorists
so this is very topical in this day and age,
but also something that must be handled with care.
The dream was a good way to show the consequences
of the bomb, without actually having it happen.
I'm a bit surprised there aren't a few more "witch-like"
episodes, like you had in the first witch story at the haunted house.
But the daredevil girls appear to be regrouping
which is important, because it is a Daredevil Girls story.
It should be interesting to see how it all gets resolved.
Excellent chapter

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016

I actually wrote this originally before 911 and the terrorist idea was more unique. As I'm sure you can guess, there will be no detonation of the bomb as the DDG's and their friends will come through. That's why there was the "could have been" scene. Kids need to be aware of the real world, but I'm not JK Rowling, I'm not killing off kids! Of course, she's rich and famous and I'm still learning! haha.

Thanks for the wonderful six stars, and for the great help with detail.
Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from RPSaxena

Exceptional

Hello Rhonda,
It's a nice piece in continuation; having pleasing phraseology, smooth and captivating flow almost throughout from the beginning to the end.
Reminding of the past incidents, and especially conversational approach, makes it more interesting.

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016

Thank you for the beautiful six star review, my friend!
I also appreciate the time and effort you took to find exactly what works in the story so I can get the next chapter set up and going.

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from light

Excellent

I have read some of this before, but I appreciate the summery. It all fits together now. This is very intriguing story. I hope to read more.
Elaine

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016

Thank you, Elaine for the read and review. It was much appreciated. I did try to add the summary to catch people up. I try to once in a while. I'm so glad it helped.

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from A.A.A.EXHILARATING RIDE

Excellent

Hi Rhonda, lovely art work of avmurray; and story moving along well, perhaps towards resolution it seems to me. Thanks for the read, Maureen*&*

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2016

Thank you, Maureen. The story is getting close to wrapping up. That's one reason I started on the next one. I appreciate the support you've given me throughout the process!

Comment from Jay Squires

Exceptional

Hey, Rhonda. I must say, though I've been away for a month you make it easy to jump right in and get a "feel" for what the action was and where the characters are now. Nancy had apparently bowed out of the daredevils, but now that a powerful force for good is needed, she's reinvigorating her role.

I loved the way you involved the reader right at the beginning in Nancy's dream as though it was reality, right up to her incorporating her mother and Victor in the dream as survivors of the bomb blast when they were actually there to wake her from her sleep that produced the dream. Good job with that.

Now that you've foreshadowed the Witches' intended bombing of the school and we have a simulated taste of it through Nancy's dream, the reader will have the forthcoming tension already built into the new chapters. A good technique that!

This was simply a superb job all the way around.

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2016

Thank you so much for the wonderful 6 stars, my friend, and thank you for the very encouraging and specific review. That is helpful and inspiring.

I'm glad to have you back to reading and reviewing. You're the only one who mentioned the dream, and it is actually pivotal to this chapter. And, yes, the tension is mounting from here on out. I've gotten a lot of pieces in place. You should be able to catch up on them easily as they appear in future chapters. That's one of the benefits of YA, it's an easier plot to keep up with. lol.

Thanks again, my friend,
Rhonda

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Rhonda

= So sorry, I apologize for not reviewing your work the last few days.
= My FM has been acting up of late, so it has slowed me down a lot.
= Just cannot concentrate the last few days, or get around too well.
= I'm also trying to get ready for company this weekend--not easy while sick.
= It will be a few days until I can get back into the swing of things.
= I didn't want you to think I'm ignoring you. Just need down time.
= I hate to do it, but please excuse the cut/paste.

<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers & Blessings --- Jax
<> Published as --- Jacqueline M Franklin

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2016

Awww, you are a sweetheart, and quite a trooper to keep writing with the way you feel. I'm just glad you're hanging tough. Take your time,

Hugs,
Rhonda

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

Excellent. this story is interesting and keeps getting more so. The characters are believable and the dialogue is great. I didn't spot any errors either.

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2016

Thank you so much, my friend. I love it that you've kept up with the series.

Have a great night,
Rhonda

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Rhonda, wonderful continuation to the story and the shift back to the school. I love your change of picture to the Halloween image. The story has just that feel about. Very well written. I love it. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2016

Thanks, Ulla, I figured it worked better, given the circumstances!!

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Have a great week,
Rhonda

Comment from TheWriteTeach

Excellent

This is very well written. Each chapter I read gets deeper, darker, and scarier. But I have faith in the Daredevil Girls to get things back on track! LOL As always, you have good action throughout, everything moves the story forward, your transitions flow well from one scene to the next, and your dialogue is very believable. Even though the characters are putting on a brave face and pushing forward to outwit the witches, the reader can tell, through the use of good dialogue, that they are scared and not sure what they are getting themselves into. Did not catch any spags. Did not notice anything that might need tweaking or changing. You did a nice job with this chapter.

Suzanne

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016

Thank you so much, Suzanne. You have encouraged me with your comments and support. You captured the true heart of this chapter--courage in the face of danger and fear.

I do appreciate the care you've put into the review. It's obvious in your remarks.

Thanks so much,
Rhonda