Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Although I can't really say I know much about zen, I can feel the soft breeze in the covering of a forest in the poem. I especially like how the words with repeated soft "s" and "z" sounds hint at the breeze.

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Oct-2016

Zen is that wonderfully light feeling when you are completely relaxed. I love sitting in the forest and just letting the breeze, sounds and scents wash over me, that's zen. Cheers, j

Comment from nor84

Good

I wanted to give you a heads-up.

Contest rules call for two grammatically interconnected lines of concrete imagery, plus third line, the satori or Aha moment.

The following is one complete sentence, not 2 grammatically interconnect lines plus a third line (satori):

soft forest breezes in a whispering caress,reveals zen secrets.

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Oct-2016

Okay, I understand what you are suggesting and I will revise. Thanks for the review and helpful advice, cheers, j

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

This appears to be a fine entry for the contest
with correct syllables at 5-7-5
Good imagery in the forest/breeze
with solid grammatical connection
and good use of personification
A very good satori line and excellent art work
complete the zen haiku
Nicely done
Good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Oct-2016

Thanks for the insightful and encouraging review. I do love to find some moss and just watch the world go by. Grounding, the lost art of laying flat out and picking up the sutble vibrations of earth. Cheers, j

Comment from Steven Latty

Excellent

When I need to make crucial decisions or need to find myself I head into the Rockies. I love surrounding myself around nature. I don't hunt or kill anything while in there. I truly just take in complete freedom.

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Oct-2016

I know what you mean. I have a rustic log cabin in the woods of Vermont, no electricity, and I often find a patch of moss and relax for hours, just watching the leaves move and birds and chipmonks do their thing. When we were children we would often lay out on the ground, absorbing the earth's subtle vibration, very relaxing. Now with rubber soles, cars, and development, we have lost that connection. They call it 'grounding' now, but it has been around forever. Welcome to fanstory. I look forward to sharing our stories and poems. Cheers, thanks for the review, j