Comment from krys123

Excellent

Good morning to across the pond, Mary;
-I have to tell you that my wife bleeds Irish blood and is proud of it.
-Your well constructed and composed Lune poetry is a well-written prophetic poem and it's too bad you could not have six syllables in your last line for then one could write "then wisdom flourishes" which I think would be ideal, yet, yours is beautifully fine.
-I think the cross antonym connection by using the picture, which by the way it's really well to the conceptual theme of your writing yet choosing the words, "HATE IS LEARNED" is something I feel takes away from the serenity and innocent feeling and emotions of your poem. For that title in your picture is a whole another subject that one can write about and I don't think it's very applicable to the feeling that you're trying to get across. Now, Mary, this is just my own opinion.
-May do very well in your voting so much so that you receive many excellent to exceptional ratings which will propel your poem to the top of the list.
-Take care and have a good one Mary.
Alex

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016

Hi Alex, you are right how we are restricted in our syllable count. I appreciate you taking the time to review it. Mary

reply by krys123 on 23-Oct-2016

You're very welcome, Mary and have a good one.
Alex

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I admired your reflections in this tiny poem and the reinforcing picture. It is surprising that so much can be communicated in such a short form. Best wishes in the Lune contest- Joan

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 19-Oct-2016

Thanks Joan

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Gorgeous picture Mary and very wise words you have put to it for this Lune Poetry contest. I wish more people could be like these two little boys, wouldn't it be wonderful. Good luck in the contest,
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2016

Thanks valda for your encouraging review. Mary

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

Ya know, Mary. We adults can learn an awful lot about love and tolerance by just sitting awhile to observe little kids at play. They know no prejudices, they haven't yet been tainted by bigotry or hatred, at least not for the most part.
Those are learned behaviors, and quite ugly learned behaviors at best.
This is a well composed lune with a pertinently powerful message to convey.

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2016

Thanks I agree with all of your comments,and I appreciate your great review. Mary

reply by Dean Kuch on 19-Oct-2016

My pleasure.

Comment from RGstar

Excellent

I just couldn't agree with you more, my good friend, for love knows no colour or preference, it finds those that are worthy.
Have a great day.
My best wishes,
RG

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2016

Thank you RG for your great comments. Mary

Comment from Heather Knight

Excellent

What a lovely message and picture. Everything would be so much easier if there was peace in our hearts and we behaved like children.

Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2016

Thanks Maria for your great comments in the review of my Luna poem. Mary

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Second review

:-)))



First review (FOUR stars)


Excellent aphoristic-flavored Lune poem, ALMOST true to form and finely presented. Inspired theme, delivered with lucid directness. Simple but powerful.

The problem is the last line--it's only four syllables and needs to be five. Maybe add the word THEN

then real wisdom comes

or, perhaps replacing REAL with a two syllable descriptive synonym would be optimal, since THEN is not really required.



I love the gentle tone, which is finely enhanced by the abundance of S sounds (plus soft C in peace, which sounds like s)

Optional suggestion:

when true love opens
hearts to peace(,)
real wisdom comes

Good luck in the contest.

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2016

You know I did have then on it but I copied the wrong one thanks for reminding me I will change it now.

reply by rama devi on 18-Oct-2016

Great...will upgrade. :-)))

reply by the author on 18-Oct-2016

thanks xx

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Lovely words to focus on! Love can change the person giving and the person receiving love. And when we are open to love, then we can overlook so much of the those things which cause conflicts. Great thought!

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2016

Thank you so much for your review and your great comments. Mary

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a really good Lune poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with the picture. Good luck in the contest. Teri

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Oct-2016

Thanks Teri, for your encouraging review with great comments. Mary

Comment from DonandVicki

Excellent

Oh, how true is this? Hate is learned and passed on from generation to generation. A lune with a powerful message. Well done.

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2016

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016

Thanks for a lovely review with great encouraging words. Mary