Irish Eyes
A stranger's eyes brought me back to a face from childhood.14 total reviews
Comment from mfowler
Oh, you Irish are a sentimental lot. (I'm assuming here, aren't I? LOL)
'Smiling Irish eyes' draws us quickly into a vision of a friendly, down to earth type whose clearly in a good mood.
'rocked me back to childhood' and then we see the empathetic and emotional effect it has on the storyteller. he/she remembers a childhood of warmth and fond recall.
The well alliterated 'haven of my heart' is a lovely satori line to complete the moment.
Nicely conceived and well written. Many thanks for sharing and I hope you do well in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2016
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Oh, you Irish are a sentimental lot. (I'm assuming here, aren't I? LOL)
'Smiling Irish eyes' draws us quickly into a vision of a friendly, down to earth type whose clearly in a good mood.
'rocked me back to childhood' and then we see the empathetic and emotional effect it has on the storyteller. he/she remembers a childhood of warmth and fond recall.
The well alliterated 'haven of my heart' is a lovely satori line to complete the moment.
Nicely conceived and well written. Many thanks for sharing and I hope you do well in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2016
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Thank you for the detailed analysis and positive comments.
Comment from tarynlk
This is a great haiku! I am very curious as to who owned these "Irish Eyes" and what made them bring you back to your childhood? The poem is great and leaves the reader with questions and wondering the back story. Great piece!
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2016
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This is a great haiku! I am very curious as to who owned these "Irish Eyes" and what made them bring you back to your childhood? The poem is great and leaves the reader with questions and wondering the back story. Great piece!
Comment Written 15-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2016
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Thank you for your good observations.
Comment from Nika2016
This is very beautiful.
Smiling Irish eyes..rocked..haven for the heart..
Think about it...It simply speaks with feeling.
One of my favorite tiny poems.
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reply by the author on 15-Oct-2016
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This is very beautiful.
Smiling Irish eyes..rocked..haven for the heart..
Think about it...It simply speaks with feeling.
One of my favorite tiny poems.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2016
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Thank you, I think you read between the lines.
Comment from Dean Kuch
It often happens that way. We see what we perceive to be a face that looks familiar, or a particular person's facial features remind us of someone we once knew.
Your hakiu is composed well within the required syllabic count of seventeen syllables , or less, and your first and second lines do demonstrate a distinct grammatical connection.
Your kigo is a bit vague, but could pertain to many different seasons.
The satori is an excellent reflective observation of the entirety of the poem.
Well done -- good luck.
~Dean
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2016
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It often happens that way. We see what we perceive to be a face that looks familiar, or a particular person's facial features remind us of someone we once knew.
Your hakiu is composed well within the required syllabic count of seventeen syllables , or less, and your first and second lines do demonstrate a distinct grammatical connection.
Your kigo is a bit vague, but could pertain to many different seasons.
The satori is an excellent reflective observation of the entirety of the poem.
Well done -- good luck.
~Dean
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2016
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I am always impressed by your good observations and pleased with your praise.
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You're more than welcome. :)
