Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 428 "Dusk at the Lakes"Small and Specialty Poems
13 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Whatever form of poetry you use, it is always excellent, Tom. Sorry I'm so long reviewing, I've been away and have loads to catch up on. I love the fire pictured here, it gave a cosiness to the whole poem. The poem is really lovely, as I said, whatever the style you make it your own in the way you write it. I could feel the heat of the flames and see the night sky, the whole essence of your words really came through, it is lovely. Well done, my friend. :) Sandra. xx
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2016
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Whatever form of poetry you use, it is always excellent, Tom. Sorry I'm so long reviewing, I've been away and have loads to catch up on. I love the fire pictured here, it gave a cosiness to the whole poem. The poem is really lovely, as I said, whatever the style you make it your own in the way you write it. I could feel the heat of the flames and see the night sky, the whole essence of your words really came through, it is lovely. Well done, my friend. :) Sandra. xx
Comment Written 19-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2016
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Thank you Sandra. I appreciate your commentsvand continual encouragement.
Comment from Selina Stambi
I love how you get creative with form, Tom.
And now you've got a haiku CTD combo. :)
Lovely pic and yes ...
You'll partake of it all. It's a ball, when you camp at the lakes! ... you've evoked the feel of the campfire night.
Sonali
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2016
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I love how you get creative with form, Tom.
And now you've got a haiku CTD combo. :)
Lovely pic and yes ...
You'll partake of it all. It's a ball, when you camp at the lakes! ... you've evoked the feel of the campfire night.
Sonali
Comment Written 17-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2016
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Thank you Sonali. It is what I love to do.
Comment from sunnilicious
Dusk, Autumn and Halloween all seem to go together quite nicely. Ghoulish, perhaps. Nicely written poem. I like the poetic mix. It works well together. Great visual imagery. Good flow of rhythm and rhymes. Great work!
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2016
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Dusk, Autumn and Halloween all seem to go together quite nicely. Ghoulish, perhaps. Nicely written poem. I like the poetic mix. It works well together. Great visual imagery. Good flow of rhythm and rhymes. Great work!
Comment Written 14-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2016
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Thanknyou Alicia. I appreaciate you fine review and the stars are fine dessert.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
This another first rate five star verse describing a pleasant environmental scene and invoking the mood of enjoyment of the experience of the reader. As ever this is first rate craftsmanship employing several poetic forms and successfully meeting the requirements of each as far as I can tell. The figurative language is excellent and it flows well. The poem follows a consistent rhyme scheme and the rhyme is simple and good. "blended shadowy shapes" is pleasing alliteration not so pleasing is the sound of "accrete"
Your friend and colleague
Preston
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2016
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Hi, Treischel,
This another first rate five star verse describing a pleasant environmental scene and invoking the mood of enjoyment of the experience of the reader. As ever this is first rate craftsmanship employing several poetic forms and successfully meeting the requirements of each as far as I can tell. The figurative language is excellent and it flows well. The poem follows a consistent rhyme scheme and the rhyme is simple and good. "blended shadowy shapes" is pleasing alliteration not so pleasing is the sound of "accrete"
Your friend and colleague
Preston
Comment Written 12-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2016
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Thank you Preston. Your astute comments are well received and apreciated.
Comment from RGstar
Good delivery, and once again so much structure gone into the work in which you are a master of. Still, I judge the end result and delivery, and you have managed it well. I had to think and read , a few times, about 'esteem' in that respect, still not entirely sure, yet, the author gets the verdict.
Good work.
RGstar
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
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Good delivery, and once again so much structure gone into the work in which you are a master of. Still, I judge the end result and delivery, and you have managed it well. I had to think and read , a few times, about 'esteem' in that respect, still not entirely sure, yet, the author gets the verdict.
Good work.
RGstar
Comment Written 09-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
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Thank you RG. I like the feel of it. I am glad that you esteemed it to be acceptable. Lol.
Comment from Pantygynt
I think I prefer this to the traditional haibun with its curtailed almhershy barost cryptic prose, as an all round poetic experience. The insertion of anapest here as the meter was a master stroke and strikes a marvelous contrast to the haiku. I can identify with the s'mores even though the marshmallow is the only actual food mentioned that I have ever tasted. The Hershey bar I understand to be chocolate and the cracker is a cracker so my gustatory imagnation is tickled to the point where we would say it sounds pretty "more-ish" which is pretty much the same thing.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
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I think I prefer this to the traditional haibun with its curtailed almhershy barost cryptic prose, as an all round poetic experience. The insertion of anapest here as the meter was a master stroke and strikes a marvelous contrast to the haiku. I can identify with the s'mores even though the marshmallow is the only actual food mentioned that I have ever tasted. The Hershey bar I understand to be chocolate and the cracker is a cracker so my gustatory imagnation is tickled to the point where we would say it sounds pretty "more-ish" which is pretty much the same thing.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
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I totally agree that this gives it more poetic style. Almhershy barost prose? You have me scrambling on that one, unsuccessfully. As to the S'mores, any thin milk chocolate bar will work. The Graham cracker is one made with whole wheat flour.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Roasting marshmallows on an open fire. That is always a very pleasant experience.
So is being out in nature, as this poem depicts.
Paints an enjoyable picture.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
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Roasting marshmallows on an open fire. That is always a very pleasant experience.
So is being out in nature, as this poem depicts.
Paints an enjoyable picture.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
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Thank you Brett, it is a most enjoyable experience. Glad you came and shared it.
Comment from Kelly2
Nice reminiscences of the joys of nature and camping, a time away from the hustle and bustle.
I liked "it all drapes on a scene where the stage is the night's blended shadowy shape"
Gorgeous picture and with the title, sets the scene.
Beautiful!
Kelly
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
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Nice reminiscences of the joys of nature and camping, a time away from the hustle and bustle.
I liked "it all drapes on a scene where the stage is the night's blended shadowy shape"
Gorgeous picture and with the title, sets the scene.
Beautiful!
Kelly
Comment Written 09-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
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Thank you very much Kelly. I am glad to share the moment. Thanks for stopping by.
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You are very welcome!
Kelly
Comment from Nika2016
This is a beautiful poem about camping outdoors reminding me of my camping trips to the sea...the smell of eucalyptus..cedar burning...bathings suits on clotheslines...
sounds of the water...
your poem describes camping perfectly.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
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This is a beautiful poem about camping outdoors reminding me of my camping trips to the sea...the smell of eucalyptus..cedar burning...bathings suits on clotheslines...
sounds of the water...
your poem describes camping perfectly.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
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Thank you Nika. Those are wonderful memory examples of camping.
Comment from Joan E.
I enjoyed your creative combination of the two forms. I liked the rhymes and meter in the first half, as a substitute for the prose portion of a haibun, and your surprising satori in the haiku with its tasty touch and alliteration. Smiles- Joan
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
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I enjoyed your creative combination of the two forms. I liked the rhymes and meter in the first half, as a substitute for the prose portion of a haibun, and your surprising satori in the haiku with its tasty touch and alliteration. Smiles- Joan
Comment Written 08-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
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Thank you so much Joan. I'm glad you liked my unusual combination.
