Sport Of Love Lost
Conceived at the crib3 total reviews
Comment from honeytree
We are born we live
we learn about life
we can sin or we can
be good within our lives.
It is up to us all in many ways.
we can go to heaven when
we die or hell.
Honeytree
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We are born we live
we learn about life
we can sin or we can
be good within our lives.
It is up to us all in many ways.
we can go to heaven when
we die or hell.
Honeytree
Comment Written 18-Sep-2016
Comment from KyColonel Randal
Thank you for sharing. I am debating whether or not I would recommend punctuation in this piece. That would be my biggest observation. Any particular reason you decided to push two eight-line stanzas together?
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Thank you for sharing. I am debating whether or not I would recommend punctuation in this piece. That would be my biggest observation. Any particular reason you decided to push two eight-line stanzas together?
Comment Written 15-Sep-2016
Comment from frierajac
I guess the first use of "keep" to be the keep that equals dungeon, and the 2d meaning is "to keep". Is the word,"brow" in the next stanza mean to be slant
rhyme with" grow"? Or did you mean brown?to go with known and stone?
It seems "shells" has a double meaning of bullets in hell in a state of seige;
and also the shells that were collected in childhood on a beach, in heart
felt growth. Is this how to avoid becoming a purist?
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2016
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I guess the first use of "keep" to be the keep that equals dungeon, and the 2d meaning is "to keep". Is the word,"brow" in the next stanza mean to be slant
rhyme with" grow"? Or did you mean brown?to go with known and stone?
It seems "shells" has a double meaning of bullets in hell in a state of seige;
and also the shells that were collected in childhood on a beach, in heart
felt growth. Is this how to avoid becoming a purist?
Comment Written 14-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2016
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Yes, exactly, thank you
