The Cody Schroder Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Boxcar -Part Three"A collection of Cody Schroder stories
17 total reviews
Comment from Mary Wakeford
Another great chapter in the book, and I'm so relieved Cody outsmarted and outmaneuvered the stinkin' hobo. You did a terrific job with scene description and story continuation.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Another great chapter in the book, and I'm so relieved Cody outsmarted and outmaneuvered the stinkin' hobo. You did a terrific job with scene description and story continuation.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Your comments appreciated.
Comment from judiverse
Great going with this. The hobo should have learned that he wants to be successful, he'd better lay off the drinking. Cody does a great job of keeping for cool and waiting for just the right moment to act. The hobo was certainly full of plans about what he was going to do to Cody, but he got outsmarted by a kid. Good for Cody. Cody realizes he has made a mistake in running away without a plan. Interesting that Sheriff Daniels is now "Dad." Great story. judi
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Great going with this. The hobo should have learned that he wants to be successful, he'd better lay off the drinking. Cody does a great job of keeping for cool and waiting for just the right moment to act. The hobo was certainly full of plans about what he was going to do to Cody, but he got outsmarted by a kid. Good for Cody. Cody realizes he has made a mistake in running away without a plan. Interesting that Sheriff Daniels is now "Dad." Great story. judi
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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After being with the Sheriff through two books, the bonds between the two of them have tightened up, although the Sheriff adopting Cody has not occurred yet. Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Your comments appreciated.
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You're welcome. Great story. judi
Comment from misscookie
You captured my attention from the start.
Every time that boy gets out of one thing
he's in something else.
That is how my day went today.
But I gave God the glory for He was there to help me through another Storm...
boy can I use a tall glass of wine...Cookie.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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You captured my attention from the start.
Every time that boy gets out of one thing
he's in something else.
That is how my day went today.
But I gave God the glory for He was there to help me through another Storm...
boy can I use a tall glass of wine...Cookie.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this misscookie.
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It was great.
Cookie
Comment from royowen
Cody is a resourceful little boy indeed, being scared to death by the hobo he takes advantage of an opportunistic movement and manages to push the hobo out of the train, and the hobo loses his gun in the depths of the reservoir, it then he decides he wants to be home with his dad. Well done Mark, excellent episode, good descriptive action writing, most enjoyable, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Cody is a resourceful little boy indeed, being scared to death by the hobo he takes advantage of an opportunistic movement and manages to push the hobo out of the train, and the hobo loses his gun in the depths of the reservoir, it then he decides he wants to be home with his dad. Well done Mark, excellent episode, good descriptive action writing, most enjoyable, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. As I like to say, stay tuned. Much more of Cody to come. Your comments and support appreciated.
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Well done
Comment from MizKat
Hi Brett,
This is another wonderful chapter that you have written. I hope that Sheriff Daniels is looking for Cody and will be at the place where the train is stopping.
I doubt Cody will ever run away again.
Kat
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Hi Brett,
This is another wonderful chapter that you have written. I hope that Sheriff Daniels is looking for Cody and will be at the place where the train is stopping.
I doubt Cody will ever run away again.
Kat
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2016
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Thanks for the review. Your comments appreciated.
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You're very welcome, Brett. Kat
Comment from Sankey
Good work, I knew straight away it was Beebo had the boy. I am glad he managed to get clear of him. Now some Spagarama (my word ok hehe) pr[o](e)c[e]ed(e)s you far and wide."
The hobo fe[e](l)l flat on his back.
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reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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Good work, I knew straight away it was Beebo had the boy. I am glad he managed to get clear of him. Now some Spagarama (my word ok hehe) pr[o](e)c[e]ed(e)s you far and wide."
The hobo fe[e](l)l flat on his back.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2016
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Sorry my friend. But the hobo is not BeeBo. He will no doubt reappear shortly. Just not in this story. Glad you enjoyed this portion of it anyway.
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Thanks for the heads up but probably of the same ilk as Bee bo?? Hmm??
Comment from Alex Rosel
"Don't be so afraid of your own shadow, Cody," the hobo responded in a calmer tone. - This is a bit of a ponderous dialogue tag. Why not just his tone was calm?
Surprised by what the bum said, Cody quickly asked him, "How did you know my name was Cody?" - Again, this labours a bit. I'd have this as Surprised, Cody asked, "How did you know my name was Cody?" It carries more impact. Economy of words is rarely a fault.
"And, who are you?" Cody wanted to know. - Here, the wanted to know is redundant. I'd nix it. It's obvious Cody wants to know, he wouldn't be asking the question otherwise.
Fancified - I love you use of this word. It's so indicative of the character voicing it. Excellent!
His life from flashing before his eyes - A cliche I'd do my best to avoid.
Stewing like a pickle with no way out of the jar - This I do like, though :-)
Quickly he added much more menacingly, "But I am!" - I'd nix the weak adverb, quickly.
Cody strongly warned the hobo hoping his bravado didn't ring hollow - Try not to force feed the reader. Here, strongly warned the hobo is repeating information. The fact that Cody has already said, You do something to hurt me my Dad will hunt you down like the rabid dog you are! And, you'll be sorry you ever laid a hand on me! is clearly a strong warning in itself.
Cody didn't reply. - A great single sentence paragraph. Economy of words hit home with more impact than meandering.
In a seated position, on the floor of the boxcar - I wouldn't describe this as a particularly advantageous position. Am I missing something?
The hobo fell flat on his back. - Typo.
Overall:
There's not a lot to add to the comments I made on my review of the previous part. If you think I've raised a lot of negative points in this particular review, don't be disheartened. I usually spend ten times as longer correcting and revising my work than it took to write it in the first place. I think you have a good story to tell here, and that's why I took my time in delving into it :-)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2016
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"Don't be so afraid of your own shadow, Cody," the hobo responded in a calmer tone. - This is a bit of a ponderous dialogue tag. Why not just his tone was calm?
Surprised by what the bum said, Cody quickly asked him, "How did you know my name was Cody?" - Again, this labours a bit. I'd have this as Surprised, Cody asked, "How did you know my name was Cody?" It carries more impact. Economy of words is rarely a fault.
"And, who are you?" Cody wanted to know. - Here, the wanted to know is redundant. I'd nix it. It's obvious Cody wants to know, he wouldn't be asking the question otherwise.
Fancified - I love you use of this word. It's so indicative of the character voicing it. Excellent!
His life from flashing before his eyes - A cliche I'd do my best to avoid.
Stewing like a pickle with no way out of the jar - This I do like, though :-)
Quickly he added much more menacingly, "But I am!" - I'd nix the weak adverb, quickly.
Cody strongly warned the hobo hoping his bravado didn't ring hollow - Try not to force feed the reader. Here, strongly warned the hobo is repeating information. The fact that Cody has already said, You do something to hurt me my Dad will hunt you down like the rabid dog you are! And, you'll be sorry you ever laid a hand on me! is clearly a strong warning in itself.
Cody didn't reply. - A great single sentence paragraph. Economy of words hit home with more impact than meandering.
In a seated position, on the floor of the boxcar - I wouldn't describe this as a particularly advantageous position. Am I missing something?
The hobo fell flat on his back. - Typo.
Overall:
There's not a lot to add to the comments I made on my review of the previous part. If you think I've raised a lot of negative points in this particular review, don't be disheartened. I usually spend ten times as longer correcting and revising my work than it took to write it in the first place. I think you have a good story to tell here, and that's why I took my time in delving into it :-)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2016
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Keep the reviews coming. Glad you enjoyed this.
