A Trucker's Tale
A tribute to truckies18 total reviews
Comment from William Ross
very good nice tribute for truckers, the are the back bone to the country. Good rhyme and great flow when read. nicely done on this have a great day.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
  |
very good nice tribute for truckers, the are the back bone to the country. Good rhyme and great flow when read. nicely done on this have a great day.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
-
Thank you for reading, reviewing and then praising my poem. I appreciate you doing all three
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Great poem about a much needed profession. Your analogy between truckers and songs ws spot on. I would stop nee, but FanStory says no.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
|
Great poem about a much needed profession. Your analogy between truckers and songs ws spot on. I would stop nee, but FanStory says no.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
-
Ah, the old 'the reply is too short' message. When I get this message I generally delete my reply. Glad you didn't do that.
Thank you for stopping by
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Bob
A very good friend of ours passed away yesterday afternoon. Marven Arbeau was 82, and doctors found his cancer far too late. His back had ached since last winter. The good thing is that he didn't suffer long. He was in church just three Sundays ago, but found himself in palliative care very quickly. He was a trucker years ago, so this poem struck a chord for me.
I enjoyed this tribute to truckers. I know they drive long hours; sometimes a load can start on a hot highway and end in the snow! Fast food and Tums for the tummy.
For me, most lines are too long to be read smoothly. But words can be deleted. If you'll bear with me, see how this sounds.
"In a seedy unlit truck stop, a fuel smell fills the air
Forty miles from nowhere, a thousand more from care
I'm pushing my old Kenworth as hard as it will run
I can hear the motor humming; I can see the setting sun
On the road since sunrise, a hundred miles to go
I'm addicted to this driving, but why I'll never know
Driving fourteen hours with forty tons of freight
Not easy to meet schedules; there's the cost of being late
And cops don't make it easy; they're forever on your back
They're happy when they're booking a Kenworth or a Mack
Truckers are the heroes that make our country strong
Trucking is a legacy like lyrics of a song
There's rhythm here. It may not be perfect, but you get the idea.
Hope this helps!
cheers
Kimbob
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
|
Hi Bob
A very good friend of ours passed away yesterday afternoon. Marven Arbeau was 82, and doctors found his cancer far too late. His back had ached since last winter. The good thing is that he didn't suffer long. He was in church just three Sundays ago, but found himself in palliative care very quickly. He was a trucker years ago, so this poem struck a chord for me.
I enjoyed this tribute to truckers. I know they drive long hours; sometimes a load can start on a hot highway and end in the snow! Fast food and Tums for the tummy.
For me, most lines are too long to be read smoothly. But words can be deleted. If you'll bear with me, see how this sounds.
"In a seedy unlit truck stop, a fuel smell fills the air
Forty miles from nowhere, a thousand more from care
I'm pushing my old Kenworth as hard as it will run
I can hear the motor humming; I can see the setting sun
On the road since sunrise, a hundred miles to go
I'm addicted to this driving, but why I'll never know
Driving fourteen hours with forty tons of freight
Not easy to meet schedules; there's the cost of being late
And cops don't make it easy; they're forever on your back
They're happy when they're booking a Kenworth or a Mack
Truckers are the heroes that make our country strong
Trucking is a legacy like lyrics of a song
There's rhythm here. It may not be perfect, but you get the idea.
Hope this helps!
cheers
Kimbob
Comment Written 31-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
-
Thank you for offering such a detailed reply I really appreciate constructive comments. I wish everyone on Fanstory put as much thought into their reviews as you obviously do.
Have a great day
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about a trucker's life on the road. He cannot speed or the cops will be on his back, and he cannot be late then the bosses are on his neck. He just has to push on at a steady pace.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
|
A very well-written poem about a trucker's life on the road. He cannot speed or the cops will be on his back, and he cannot be late then the bosses are on his neck. He just has to push on at a steady pace.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
-
Truly it is one of the more demanding jobs in the workplace. And I didn't even mention the lack of courtesy car drivers show towards our truckers.
Thank you for reading and reviewing
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Bob,
I liked and enjoyed this piece. It brought to mind the old C W McCall track "Convoy" and the Kris Kristofferson movie.
good flow and rhythm to the piece.
Nice one
GMG
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
|
Hi Bob,
I liked and enjoyed this piece. It brought to mind the old C W McCall track "Convoy" and the Kris Kristofferson movie.
good flow and rhythm to the piece.
Nice one
GMG
Comment Written 31-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
-
Funny you should mention Kristofferson, in my opinion the greatest songwriter of our generation because this started out as a parody on his song 'Sunday Morning Coming Down.' Originally the first line read: At a Monday morning truck stop, petrol fumes they filled the air.' But I couldn't do that to one of my favourite songs.
Comment from Benny Beeharry
Hi friend, you are absolutely right. I have met a lot of them on the way driving t Paris and back to London. The saddest part is when I see them all gathered for the night in a side lane around a fish and chip or bacon shop. There they will spend the night. They come from all over the world to deliver or pick things in London.
Thank you giving me the chance to say a thing or two in the favour.
I did enjoy hos write.
Benny Beeharry
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
|
Hi friend, you are absolutely right. I have met a lot of them on the way driving t Paris and back to London. The saddest part is when I see them all gathered for the night in a side lane around a fish and chip or bacon shop. There they will spend the night. They come from all over the world to deliver or pick things in London.
Thank you giving me the chance to say a thing or two in the favour.
I did enjoy hos write.
Benny Beeharry
Comment Written 31-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
-
Thank you Benny. It always delights me when somebody endorses my line of thought.
The life of a trucker is not easy. I really appreciate your comments
Comment from royowen
You've done a marvellous job of writing this story/testimony of what it's like to drive a Kenworth truck Bob. The work is articulate, smooth cadence, with aabb rhyming that the wording is marvellous, and you've done a great job, my friend, blessings, Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
|
You've done a marvellous job of writing this story/testimony of what it's like to drive a Kenworth truck Bob. The work is articulate, smooth cadence, with aabb rhyming that the wording is marvellous, and you've done a great job, my friend, blessings, Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
-
Thank you Roy. Your encouragement is greatly appreciated
-
Most welcome, Bob.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Nice tribute to truckers.
Remember, they are the ones that move the goods and products used.
If they say those wheels don't roll nothing moves.
Support our truckers!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
|
Nice tribute to truckers.
Remember, they are the ones that move the goods and products used.
If they say those wheels don't roll nothing moves.
Support our truckers!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
-
Thank you Brett for reading and reviewing. Glad you enjoyed it
