Picture This
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "The Setting Sun"poems from Picture This Challenge
44 total reviews
Comment from jlsavell
Sandra, I thought I review this gem but evidently not. Exquisite and beautiful, Well executed in rhythm and theme. I think I should like to do a picture challenge.. wonderful work... jimi
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016
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Sandra, I thought I review this gem but evidently not. Exquisite and beautiful, Well executed in rhythm and theme. I think I should like to do a picture challenge.. wonderful work... jimi
Comment Written 03-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016
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Hi Jimi, thank you for your lovely review. Yes, you must join us, PM Jax Franklin, and she will explain it to you, it really is good fun and stretches your mind. I'm glad you liked my take on the picture. Thanks, my friend. :) Sandra xx
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you ARE SO VERY WELCOME..
Comment from LanceHill
Sandra,
This is an excellent addition for the challenge. You have painted not only the picture but also the day with your words. Thanks for sharing. God bless.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016
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Sandra,
This is an excellent addition for the challenge. You have painted not only the picture but also the day with your words. Thanks for sharing. God bless.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016
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The picture you chose, Lance, is stunning, the words came easily for it, and I thank you for it. To have you award me a 6 stars on top, well, it has made my day, thank you so very much! :) Sandra xx
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice presentation and poem.
-Effective rhyme and vivid imagery.
-One of my favorites is "of bronze and aztec gold"
-A very peaceful scene and mood is created as the birds
"with heads tucked 'neath their wings,
are soothed to sleep by serenades"
-A nice transition to the trees and the sun setting.
-All will rest ready to start the next day.
-Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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-Very nice presentation and poem.
-Effective rhyme and vivid imagery.
-One of my favorites is "of bronze and aztec gold"
-A very peaceful scene and mood is created as the birds
"with heads tucked 'neath their wings,
are soothed to sleep by serenades"
-A nice transition to the trees and the sun setting.
-All will rest ready to start the next day.
-Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Pam. I love the sunset and the sunrise, (when I wake up early enough!) I'm so pleased you like it, two magical times of day. Bless your heart, thank you! :) Sandra xxx
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You are welcome. Those are beautiful times of day.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem for the 'picture this' challenge. The changing colors in the sky are usually the first signs of the setting sun. It is all worthwhile to look to the west and experience a wonderful show.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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A very well-written poem for the 'picture this' challenge. The changing colors in the sky are usually the first signs of the setting sun. It is all worthwhile to look to the west and experience a wonderful show.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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Absolutely, Sandra, I love to watch as the sun sets at night. It is magical, spiritual, and just so beautiful. Thank you so much for this lovely review, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from PoemsOfDD
Sandra, I love this poem. A fantastic interpretation of the Picture Challenge. I read it out loud and its excellent rhymes sounds so ..... beautiful putting me right there watching the sun set. Thank you for that visual and for that I shower you with six stars. ~DD
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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Sandra, I love this poem. A fantastic interpretation of the Picture Challenge. I read it out loud and its excellent rhymes sounds so ..... beautiful putting me right there watching the sun set. Thank you for that visual and for that I shower you with six stars. ~DD
Comment Written 31-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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Oh, what a lovely review, and you have given me 6 shiny stars as well! Thank you so very much, my friend, you are so nice, bless you. :) Sandra xxxx
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My pleasure Sandra. I didn't think I was going to put a poem out for the PC this time around but I had a thought - the first line - then next thing I know the poem is written. I've just posted it :-) ~DD
Comment from bob cullen
This really is brilliant. Love the rhyme. And your phrasing is sensational. The first two lines are divine.
I would however make one minor change in the final line of the first verse. I would relocate the 'the.' To me the lines reads smoother as:
are soothed to sleep by THE gentle serenades evening brings.
Mind you, this is just an opinion.
A great poem
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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This really is brilliant. Love the rhyme. And your phrasing is sensational. The first two lines are divine.
I would however make one minor change in the final line of the first verse. I would relocate the 'the.' To me the lines reads smoother as:
are soothed to sleep by THE gentle serenades evening brings.
Mind you, this is just an opinion.
A great poem
Comment Written 31-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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Thank you so very much for those lovely 6 stars, Bob, and for the even nicer review. I wasn't really happy with that line, and due to you mentioning it, I've taken another look at it. I have changed the line a bit, and made it into the 8-6 syllables I was unable to do before, in keeping with the rest of the poem. I think it works better now, and I'm so grateful to you for giving me the jolt I needed to get my brain in gear! Bless you, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from rama devi
What a lovely poem--the visuals are splendorous and the phonetics just as worthy of applause! I LOVED all the S sounds here (with cousin sound soft Z in Azte, too).
(note one capitalization spag):
The sky is scorched with splendid shades
of bronze and Aztec gold,
A(a)nd when the sun drops through the clouds,
so night skies soon unfold.
Love the assonant resonance of U and I here (note spag):
A hush occurs as all the birds(,)
with heads tucked 'neath their wings;(,)
are soothed to sleep by gentle serenades the evening brings.
This line, I read aloud three times--yummy:
are soothed to sleep by gentle serenades the evening brings.
Superb internal rhyme and assonance of EA and EE and consonance of L here(note one spag):
As trees receive the day's last glow
upon their leaves of green,
the sun slips further to bequeath
a subtle golden sheen(.)
Lovely closing note:
And by the time this orb has set,
and gone till dawn is due,
so all will rest, and be refreshed when day starts out anew.
I enjoyed the free verse flow with random (and abundant, well timed) rhyming. I thought the last line a bit long, and suggest breaking it in two (optional idea):
And by the time this orb has set,
and gone till dawn is due,
so all will rest, and be refreshed
when day starts out anew.
Leans to a six...
Enjoyed!
Lots of Love,
rd
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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What a lovely poem--the visuals are splendorous and the phonetics just as worthy of applause! I LOVED all the S sounds here (with cousin sound soft Z in Azte, too).
(note one capitalization spag):
The sky is scorched with splendid shades
of bronze and Aztec gold,
A(a)nd when the sun drops through the clouds,
so night skies soon unfold.
Love the assonant resonance of U and I here (note spag):
A hush occurs as all the birds(,)
with heads tucked 'neath their wings;(,)
are soothed to sleep by gentle serenades the evening brings.
This line, I read aloud three times--yummy:
are soothed to sleep by gentle serenades the evening brings.
Superb internal rhyme and assonance of EA and EE and consonance of L here(note one spag):
As trees receive the day's last glow
upon their leaves of green,
the sun slips further to bequeath
a subtle golden sheen(.)
Lovely closing note:
And by the time this orb has set,
and gone till dawn is due,
so all will rest, and be refreshed when day starts out anew.
I enjoyed the free verse flow with random (and abundant, well timed) rhyming. I thought the last line a bit long, and suggest breaking it in two (optional idea):
And by the time this orb has set,
and gone till dawn is due,
so all will rest, and be refreshed
when day starts out anew.
Leans to a six...
Enjoyed!
Lots of Love,
rd
Comment Written 31-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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What a lovely review, Rama, thank you so much! I have made those corrections, thank you as always for that, my friend!
Big hugs and much love
Sandra xxx
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Huge hugs and much love to you too, dear.
rd xx00
Comment from Mary Wakeford
A very good Picture This submission. Your rhyming and metering is on point and the word choices you've gone with certainly tell the story of this scene.
I really enjoyed the last stanza, and particularly this part;
upon their leaves of green,
the sun slips further to bequeath
a subtle golden sheen
And by the time this orb has set,
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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A very good Picture This submission. Your rhyming and metering is on point and the word choices you've gone with certainly tell the story of this scene.
I really enjoyed the last stanza, and particularly this part;
upon their leaves of green,
the sun slips further to bequeath
a subtle golden sheen
And by the time this orb has set,
Comment Written 30-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Mary. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my take on the picture. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Cumbrianlass
A wonderfully soothing read! I love sunset, and adore the sunrise - best parts of the day! The colour, images, and mood you put forth in this poem is quite lovely, Sandra.
Bravo!
Av
xx
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2016
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A wonderfully soothing read! I love sunset, and adore the sunrise - best parts of the day! The colour, images, and mood you put forth in this poem is quite lovely, Sandra.
Bravo!
Av
xx
Comment Written 30-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2016
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Thank you, Av. It's my favourite time of day too. Everything done, and time to relax. Wonderful! Thanks again, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from aryr
A fantastic poem. It actually took the picture out of the picture and made it a reality. It created a sense of peace, serenity and comfort. A wonderful closure to a good day but also carries the promise of tomorrow. Great job, thank you.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2016
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A fantastic poem. It actually took the picture out of the picture and made it a reality. It created a sense of peace, serenity and comfort. A wonderful closure to a good day but also carries the promise of tomorrow. Great job, thank you.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2016
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Thank you, Alie, for another of your lovely reviews. I do enjoy these challenges, they make my brain work a bit harder!!! :) Sandra xxx
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you are so welcome Sandra.
