Comment from mumsyone

Excellent

Good chapter, Barbara.

He took a drink,(no comma) (and) grabbed the rifle and ammunition,(no comma) before he secured the helicopter and headed toward the cabin.

"Can I put my hands down,(no comma) now?"

"You're not Soni's boyfriend(,) and I don't like being lied to."

"But I already know that(,) and I know the exact spot he'll be hiding in."

I'm not finished with him,(no comma) yet.

"Go ahead(,) shoot me.

If I wanted you dead, well(,) you'd be dead.

"Perfect. I'm glad we're thinking a like (alike)."

"I don't know where that's at(,) but I'll find it.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Once again, I appreciate all the generous help you give me. Thank you.

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Barbara,

Great addition to the chapter here. All about Jim this one. I laughed when he shot Miguel. Nice touch! LOL

we're thinking a like - alike.

All the best
G

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

I have made that correction. Thank you.

Comment from Sis Cat

Excellent

Helicopter, cowboys, cartels, and First Peoples. This is an engaging mixture of peoples and genres, combining the old with the new. You held my attention with this fast-paced chapter. Miguel's boast," I'm her boyfriend," shocked me.

Two spags:

"He glanced a(t) the sky."

and

"Perfect. I'm glad we're thinking alike," not "a like."

Like Jim, I feel "I'm about to learn a lot more." Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Corrections have been made. Thank you for the assistance.

Comment from DonandVicki

Excellent

Hi Barbara, I have enjoyed following your story and will continue, your characters are believable and fit well with the plot. Very well done.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Because of travel commitments I have missed an episode, for which I apologise. This is a good episode with Jim racing off in Somi's helicopter, and capturing Miguel Sanchez, and quizzing him for information, for which he shoots in the the thigh for not concurring. Well done, great episode, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Thank you for the kind review.

reply by royowen on 03-Sep-2016

Most welcome Barbara

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

Wow, I'm surprised Jim shot Miguel in the thigh. It was a humorous line that followed it, though.

Barbara, I notice you mentioned in your Authors notes that this seems to have been going on a long time. I have to tell you, I agree. I don't mean that as criticism, except in an editorial way. I think when you go into the editing phase of this you're going to find you need to introduce a new--or a few new--conflicts in the body of the narrative. It seems to have leveled out with only a number of small victories to overcome small defeats. But I've lost sight of the major dramatic conflict. I know you well enough to know you won't think I'm just being hurtful--and I wouldn't have made the suggestion if I didn't think you would be up to the task. By the way, I'm doing this with my own novel that seems to have started sagging in the middle.

He glanced a the sky. [He glanced AT the sky.]

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Hey, I thought you were a shoe in for the book of month. Where did this other person come from? LOL I will check that out when I read the book altogether. I will also mention that to my editor. I am hoping it's just because I post only about 500 words at a time. Thank you for the kind review.

reply by Jay Squires on 03-Sep-2016

I haven't checked the contest today, but Jax usually beats me out, and I must say Ingrid is always deserving. A very bright gal and an excellent writer. Thanks for your kind words.

reply by Jay Squires on 03-Sep-2016

I haven't checked the contest today, but Jax usually beats me out, and I must say Ingrid is always deserving. A very bright gal and an excellent writer. Thanks for your kind words.

Comment from CALLAHANMR

Exceptional

Hi Barbara:)
Another error free chapter as Jim closes in on the cabin he found/
As he watched several men left in a large truck and the rusty pickup. A fancy pickup remained as a well-armed Jim approached the cabin, Miguel Sanchez came out and was arrested, When he refused to talk, Jim applied a not so gentle persuasion and is now taking him in.

Now I suspect the final pirces of the puzzle will come together with some good romance.

Love and Irish Hugs again.

Roger

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

I appreciate you dropping by and leaving this generous review.

Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Excellent

I can feel the chapter winding down and Jim's position in the story becoming stronger. Not that it wasn't strong before, but now he is more important and we can see it. Good work, Giddy

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Barb

= Ooooh, I was holding my breath, afraid someone would come up behind Jim.
= Good chapter having Jim show what he does. Nice job.

<> One word: a like / alike
= "I'm glad we're thinking a[ ]like."

<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers & Blessings <> Jax
<> Published as <> Jacqueline M Franklin

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

Thanks for the pleasure of reading another fine chapter of your story. It seems that we are getting closer to finding out who the really bad guys are, if we haven't met them already. Great job. :-)

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2016

Thank you for the kind review.