Comment from rama devi

Excellent

I love this, Mary! So inspired! Nice duet of well penned tankas with a superb spiritual theme and wise advice. Both are true to form with excellent pivot lines and lucid voicing. I like the alliteration and consonance of W in the first stanza and of H and L in the second. Bravo. Strong entry! Good luck!

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2016

Thankd rama I appreciate your review, Mary

reply by rama devi on 01-Sep-2016

:-)))

Comment from amada

Excellent

Great lines in this double Tanka. My fave "live your best, find your true selfremember your uniqueness. Oh yah! Memorable. It will do great in the contest.

 Comment Written 30-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Aug-2016

Thanks Amada for your great comments in your review Mary

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Jackarrie

= Love the complementary artwork you chose for your excellent Tanka.
= The both work so well together as your words make the artwork pop.
= Good luck in the contest.

<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers & Blessings ... Jax
<> Published as ... Jacqueline M Franklin

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2016

Thanks Jax for your review and comments much appreciated. Mary

Comment from jusylee72

Excellent

We truly are all unique and your poem states it, illustrates it in picture and in the words you have chosen. I appreciate your opinions. and hope to hear from you again soon.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2016

Thanks for your encouraging review with nice comments, I really appreciate it, Mary

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

Here are two excellent tankas each having a central pivotting line that supports the statements on either side. The syllable count is also standard. The only query in my mind is whether "best" and "uniqueness" will be considered as rhymes. They are certainly assonant and as such are approximate rhymes. If I were you I would try to substitute one or other line ending with something less close to rhyme.

That is simply a suggestion given that this is entered in a contest. It does not affect my grading.

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016

Thank you for your excellent review on my tanka entry, I have taken you advice and change the format so as it may not have a near rhyme, I appreciate your help. Mary

Comment from Annette Gulliver

Excellent

Hi Mary. Your word count fits the requirements for the contest.
Good choice of artwork. I think it takes a long time to have the confidence to trust your inner voice.
Just as a point of interest, Mary, your profile says you are an amateur artist. Is that picture one of your paintings?
good luck in the contest Annette :-)

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016

Thanks Annette for your review and no it is not my artwork I got it in google. I appreciate you reading my tankas Mary

reply by Annette Gulliver on 28-Aug-2016

my pleasure ...

Comment from joannakruk

Excellent

So many great life approaches condensed into the one poem. Yes, you raise signal valuable point; we are so engrossed in moving forward, the next experience or challenge that we forget to live in the now and assess our moral basis. Well done on the reminder.

 Comment Written 28-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016

Thanks for your great comments. Mary

Comment from DonandVicki

Excellent

You have said a lot with the use of so few words. Well done on the tanka. The poem reads so smoothly and you put out some powerful advice.

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016

I am pleased you see my poem as written smoothly with powerful advice, I appreciate your comments, Mary

Comment from June Sargent

Excellent

Yes we do need to leave all the madness behind and listen to our inner voices. Otherwise we will lose our uniqueness and become just another noisy drone. Well done.

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016

Thanks June for your review I appreciate it Mary

Comment from DALLAS01

Excellent

What a perfect piece of artwork to enhance your poem. Introspection, to look inside,
allows us to get in touch with our truth. I love both of your pivot lines. And the last line of your second tanka.

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016

Thanks for an excellent review, Mary