Astatula (Final Edition)
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Skirmish"A young boy tries to turn his life around.Can he?
17 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
A great visceral image: "The blow extracted some of the wind out Matt's sails." A great play on words: "Matt nipped him at the finish line." I love your playing with color variations. This is great use of metaphor. Great self insight on Cody's part: "Wolves reminded me so much of myself" This A+ material
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2023
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A great visceral image: "The blow extracted some of the wind out Matt's sails." A great play on words: "Matt nipped him at the finish line." I love your playing with color variations. This is great use of metaphor. Great self insight on Cody's part: "Wolves reminded me so much of myself" This A+ material
Comment Written 17-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2023
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Appreciate your insights and the review.
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My pleasure...I will eventually read all of Cody.
Comment from meeshu
this is a very strong piece, the writing of the dialogue is what really what sets it apart. the story streams along and is very relatable for most readers. the of fear switch, in whatever form, dominates most of our childhoods, I think. for me it was a metal yardstick. well done, BMW..........meeshu
reply by the author on 02-May-2018
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this is a very strong piece, the writing of the dialogue is what really what sets it apart. the story streams along and is very relatable for most readers. the of fear switch, in whatever form, dominates most of our childhoods, I think. for me it was a metal yardstick. well done, BMW..........meeshu
Comment Written 29-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 02-May-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story. Appreciate you taking the time to read it and to write a review.
Comment from HaleyBel
An easy to follow, fun to read memoir, a piece of writing worth reading.
Parenting, children fighting, growing up, the memories are all played out.
I was able to visualize the two boys having their skirmish!
The dread of the punishment was described very well too.
reply by the author on 02-May-2018
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An easy to follow, fun to read memoir, a piece of writing worth reading.
Parenting, children fighting, growing up, the memories are all played out.
I was able to visualize the two boys having their skirmish!
The dread of the punishment was described very well too.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 02-May-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story. Much more to come so I invite you to ride along as the rest of the story continues.
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Thank you, I will keep an eye.
Comment from Poetic Friend
Cody,
From my understanding about children who have been abused, they tend to express the pent-emotions via aggressive behavior. Oftentimes, the children are afraid to verbalize the abuse and don't understand the emotions they (the children/the victims) carry.
Your story and experience somewhat support my statements.
My heart goes out to you, Cody. I truly hope hope with time and counseling that you have addressed this tragedy, beginning the process to healing.
Well-told biographical chapter.
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
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Cody,
From my understanding about children who have been abused, they tend to express the pent-emotions via aggressive behavior. Oftentimes, the children are afraid to verbalize the abuse and don't understand the emotions they (the children/the victims) carry.
Your story and experience somewhat support my statements.
My heart goes out to you, Cody. I truly hope hope with time and counseling that you have addressed this tragedy, beginning the process to healing.
Well-told biographical chapter.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
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Appreciate the review and you taking the time to read this chapter and write it. Much more to come so I invite you to ride along as this story continues to unfold.
Comment from Henry King
This excellent reminiscence of the difficult steps on the path to fast approaching adulthood. Of the several checkpoints on that path Cody, the protagonist, had an extremely difficult beginning. His biological father acutely abused him. Now, as an adoptee of a wiser father, he learns that missteps on that path have repercussions. The effect this author has on a reader is subtle. The author uses metaphor and simile to direct and beguile readers into using the angle of view he wants them to use. Well done.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2018
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This excellent reminiscence of the difficult steps on the path to fast approaching adulthood. Of the several checkpoints on that path Cody, the protagonist, had an extremely difficult beginning. His biological father acutely abused him. Now, as an adoptee of a wiser father, he learns that missteps on that path have repercussions. The effect this author has on a reader is subtle. The author uses metaphor and simile to direct and beguile readers into using the angle of view he wants them to use. Well done.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2018
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Appreciate your comments. Needed to start Cody on a different road than the one he knew in Palo Pinto. Review is spot on with this chapter.
Comment from robyn corum
Brett,
I really enjoyed this chapter. I write a lot from a man's pov and I really enjoyed the insight I gained here. Sometimes guys act stupid for no good reason that the rest of us can fathom. That's just the way it is. And I love that!! *smile*
This was well-crafted, as always, and entertained. Thank you!
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2018
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Brett,
I really enjoyed this chapter. I write a lot from a man's pov and I really enjoyed the insight I gained here. Sometimes guys act stupid for no good reason that the rest of us can fathom. That's just the way it is. And I love that!! *smile*
This was well-crafted, as always, and entertained. Thank you!
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter. Agreed, that some times guys "act stupid for no goo d reason". Had not thought of that, but it would explain Cody's actions wouldn't it?
Comment from Miriam Collins
Really nice chapter! It is full of imagery and the dialogue you created is very realistic. You did a wonderful job of sensory description in this line, "Their edges were crispy, and small morsels of sweetened chocolate provided their chewy middles." Great job!
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2018
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Really nice chapter! It is full of imagery and the dialogue you created is very realistic. You did a wonderful job of sensory description in this line, "Their edges were crispy, and small morsels of sweetened chocolate provided their chewy middles." Great job!
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story. Much more to come so I invite you to ride along as the rest of it unfolds.
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello .... made to take your lumps, eh!! I liked this chapter, and always find your style refreshing, I loved the reference to 'little primates' and this line is particularly descriptive:
'...two aggressive, diminutive, banty roosters locked in mortal combat as soon as I yanked him off his bike...'
Nice writing, engaging stories and characters, and nothing to fix. Ana.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Hello .... made to take your lumps, eh!! I liked this chapter, and always find your style refreshing, I loved the reference to 'little primates' and this line is particularly descriptive:
'...two aggressive, diminutive, banty roosters locked in mortal combat as soon as I yanked him off his bike...'
Nice writing, engaging stories and characters, and nothing to fix. Ana.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Yes, made to take lumps. Well deserved. Glad you enjoyed the noted line. Much more to come, so I invite you to come along as the story continues.
Comment from apky
Liar and lion are pretty close, I must admit.
Another very well written chapter, continuing the story seemlessly.
The pace of the story - which is what impresses me most in it - is still great. And that air of mystery remains intact too. I find myself eager to find out what will happen next.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Liar and lion are pretty close, I must admit.
Another very well written chapter, continuing the story seemlessly.
The pace of the story - which is what impresses me most in it - is still great. And that air of mystery remains intact too. I find myself eager to find out what will happen next.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story. Readers have picked up on the "lion" and "liar" ploy and seemed to especially enjoy that. Always appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from Harry Smith
Another great chapter that is full of lots of emotions and lots and lots of imagery. The reader enjoyed and will be back to read more.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Another great chapter that is full of lots of emotions and lots and lots of imagery. The reader enjoyed and will be back to read more.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2018
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Thanks. Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story. Your support appreciated.
