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Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Confusion"
Revenge for molestation

9 total reviews 
Comment from heyjude
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Judy, well-written with very interestimg.characters. they all seem to have their own issues and you pull us in to make us want to know more

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2016
    Thank you , These characters are beginning to really be real to me. I so enjoy your support.
Comment from jlsavell
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jusylee72,altohugh I have not read other chapters prior to this, it is written very well and strikes my curiosity to read on. The dialogue and characters are well developed in this work..jlsavell

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2016
    thank you so much. I truly appreciate when people take the time to read my work. I truly want to keep writing.
reply by jlsavell on 13-Aug-2016
    and keep writing you should.... jlsavell
Comment from Thomas Bowling
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Great story about something that occurs far to often, especially in the Catholic church. That is not to say that other religions are not guilty too, but when ever the story of abused boys turns up the first thing that comes to mind is the catholic church.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2016
    Thank you so much. Yes, this is a complicated story that I am loving exploring. Thank you for your encouragement. It truly motivates me.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Love the characters in this series, it seems they all have some issues, makes for lots of angst and acts of unpredictability, Joe has kissed Mary and she likes it. Before that we have a situation with Jeremy and Marguerite, holding her hand, yet she was a nun. Excellent story, lust, abuse, murder, and fragile people...perfect, well done. Most enjoyable, blessings, Roy
Typo : How can these sweet little boys (not) to have been protected? 2: her parents loved her, yet they were (contolling) controlling?

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2016
    Thank you so much for everything. The loving comments and I always need help with the spags. It helps so much. These characters are all changing and I am having a great time with it.
reply by royowen on 12-Aug-2016
    Well done
Comment from winnona
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Well I think you did a very good job on this chapter. It is very realistic and well written. the characters come to life for me and I get caught up in the story. I think That when you are done with the book it will be a good one.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2016
    thank you, i constantly am working on making the characters come to life and be real. You made my day happy. Thank you.
Comment from djsaxon
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I have come late to this but it remains a good and disturbing read. I have recently completed a novella about child abuse in Australia (not posted because it is entered in a local literary comp). There is an ongoing Royal Commission into child abuse by members of the Catholic Church. My victim doesn't kill people. Cheers - DJ

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2016
    Hurray. I am so glad he doesn't kill people. That is why I gave a Joe an abusive Mother as well who shames him when he tells her the truth about the priest. I think that is the turning point in his personality when he truly begins to hate.
Comment from light
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I haven't read previous chapters, But I found this one commanding. I had to read it all. I especially liked how you used proper and property. It was a good read.
Elaine

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 11-Aug-2016
    Thank you so much. I actually felt that way in my own.life. I got tired of people telling me to do things in the Proper way. So Proper is a cuss word in my family to this day.
Comment from Heather Knight
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This had me glued to the page, I found it fascinating.
The topic is very sad, but so is life sometimes.
Well written, good dialogues. I have no criticisms.

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 11-Aug-2016
    Thank you , The story is really developing. I have so much fun learning about these complicated characters. You just made by day by telling me you wanted to keep reading. Thank you so much.
Comment from giraffmang
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Hi there,

Even though you have redirected people to your portfolio, I would still put a basic summary on the top of the post with the salient points so far. Many people won't go back and check and then just not bother with this one either. the sad fact is that people want it easy.

The tears came out of no where - nowhere.

Margartie was embarrassed. - Margarite.

She began to cry, not gently, forcibly - need a full stop here at the end.

Be careful of overusing 'was' it is telling rather than showing. Her mind was racing (telling us). Her mind raced (showing - it's happening).

Good dynamics at play between Jeremy & Margarite.

'How in the world do I explain last night. should have a ? You also open up a though with 'How but you never close it off.

A good continuation and a good write.
GMG

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 11-Aug-2016
    I will definitely put a summary. You always help me so much. I will make the changes.