Comment from kiwisteveh

Exceptional

Sometimes the simplest language can evoke the strongest emotion and your very down to earth poem is a good example of that - an excellent entry for this contest.

Short, no-nonsense lines tell the story (and leave room for a little reading between them) Specific details, such as the placement of your children in the car add reality, a powerful force. The watering of the flowers is exceptional 'showing' of your own nature.

Good luck in the contest.

Steve

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2016

Thank you, That was a very sad day. Life 19 years later is so good. That was the first step.

Comment from Hayley Solomon

Excellent

Wow
Absolute wow. I will put my vote in here for you.
Both for what you did and for
expressing it so well.
Love the sad imagery with the nurturing
of flowers.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2016

Thank you Hayley, Life is wonderful now. I had to leave him and grow up and make decisions for myself and my children. Your kind words comfort me.

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

Thank you for your courage to write about this personal experience, or taking on the compelling persona of someone abused. "The house wasn't a home" and your wanting the flowers to know you cared said it all. Best wishes in the contest- Joan

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2016

thank you for your kind words. That was me but life is wonderful now. That was just the first step.

reply by Joan E. on 10-Aug-2016

I am glad to hear you have moved on to a satisfying place in life. Smiles- Joan

Comment from amada

Excellent

Wow to your wonderful memory. Congratulations as well. I have a story somewhere in my files about the day I left too. It's wonderful and an exhilarating feeling, isn't?

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2016

Yes, It is truly the day I started to grow up and be responsible for myself. No excuses. Life is good

Comment from RodG

Excellent

Leaving one's house and husband would indeed be a memorable moment. The reader is given a vivid glimpse of what that leave-taking was like for the speaker. Especially poignant is the stanza where she bids her flowers goodbye. I hope someday you write what followed for you and your family.

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 Comment Written 10-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2016

Thank you Rod, It took many years and I will write about it. Luckily my children survived it. In fact they used it to become better. My son , the oldest , is a UFC fighter ranked 8th in the world, My daughter a Lawyer and my youngest a mechanic for BMW. If I did not get the courage to finally leave and grow up myself then this could have had a different ending.

reply by RodG on 10-Aug-2016

". . . and grow up myself." That is the theme of your forthcoming book. I do hope you continue to write YOUR story. I am delighted life turned out well for your children. Rod

Comment from PoemsOfDD

Excellent

I think this is an excellent entry into the Memorable Moments contest. You have painted a scene of an unhappy life but one that reaches out in hope of a better life after leaving and taking the children. You have described the scene very well - I love the part about the flowers - They would die without me, I would die if I stayed to nurture them. Very well done. Just a couple of edits if I may, shown in brackets:

even thought the rain was coming
even though() the rain was coming

I Got in the car
I (g)ot in the car

Put a Disney Cd in
Put a Disney C(D) in

I really enjoyed this read. Best of luck in the competition. ~DD


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 Comment Written 10-Aug-2016

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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2016

Thank you so much. I appreciate your comments and I love and needed the edits. Thank you.