My Younger Self
short story for contest - 760 words30 total reviews
Comment from boxergirl
Awww...great job, Teresa, with your do over conversation with your younger self. The booger scene was a little too realistic. Lol
It was engaging from start to finish. One sentence sounded a little awkward to me..."And I, as a still roly-poly adult, am part of you."
Maybe this "And I, now a roly-poly adult, am still part of you"
or this, "And I, still a roly-poly, am part of you."
Just a suggestion. Good luck in the contest! :-)
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2016
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Awww...great job, Teresa, with your do over conversation with your younger self. The booger scene was a little too realistic. Lol
It was engaging from start to finish. One sentence sounded a little awkward to me..."And I, as a still roly-poly adult, am part of you."
Maybe this "And I, now a roly-poly adult, am still part of you"
or this, "And I, still a roly-poly, am part of you."
Just a suggestion. Good luck in the contest! :-)
Comment Written 09-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2016
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Thank you for the six stars - I'm honored. I'll check that sentence and see what I can do.
Comment from BeasPeas
An excellent write. These lines are my favorite: "Each moment I lived is a stepping stone in life. It's my story, my heart, my soul. I've grown and I've learned. I'm still learning--it's all part of the journey." So true. Marilyn
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2016
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An excellent write. These lines are my favorite: "Each moment I lived is a stepping stone in life. It's my story, my heart, my soul. I've grown and I've learned. I'm still learning--it's all part of the journey." So true. Marilyn
Comment Written 09-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2016
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Thank you Marilyn:)
Comment from Janet Foor
Take my hand, hold your head up high, and together we'll reside.
Wise advice for anyone Teresa and excellent ending for your short story for the "Do It Over" contest.
Very down to earth as you look back at your younger self. I'm glad you are where you are today. Well done.
Blessings
Janet.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2016
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Take my hand, hold your head up high, and together we'll reside.
Wise advice for anyone Teresa and excellent ending for your short story for the "Do It Over" contest.
Very down to earth as you look back at your younger self. I'm glad you are where you are today. Well done.
Blessings
Janet.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much Janet:)
Comment from c_lucas
It does not matter how many times you fall, but how many times you pick your self up. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2016
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It does not matter how many times you fall, but how many times you pick your self up. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2016
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Thanks Charlie:)
Comment from Ulla
Hi Teresa, a poignant write about the do over. Well, we are who we are, but when we are small and young we are so a result of our surroundings and the common consensus. Especially, years ago, the stigma of being different was a difficult one to overcome. As you so say you wouldn't have had your children if you'd chosen differently at the time. A very strong write and I'm sure you'll do well in the contest. I liked it a lot. All the best' Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
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Hi Teresa, a poignant write about the do over. Well, we are who we are, but when we are small and young we are so a result of our surroundings and the common consensus. Especially, years ago, the stigma of being different was a difficult one to overcome. As you so say you wouldn't have had your children if you'd chosen differently at the time. A very strong write and I'm sure you'll do well in the contest. I liked it a lot. All the best' Ulla:)))
Comment Written 08-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
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Yes, it is certainly a different time than when I was young, but it turned out the way it is supposed to. Thanks Ulla:)
Comment from RGstar
A nice reflection, and how well you took us on the journey through life's ever winding road and its preferences that suit the masses for the period, simply because that was the way it was , or even should be, depending on who we are... yet found the distinction in which you survived them and can look back without wanting to change most.
Bravo.
Have a great day.
RGstar
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
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A nice reflection, and how well you took us on the journey through life's ever winding road and its preferences that suit the masses for the period, simply because that was the way it was , or even should be, depending on who we are... yet found the distinction in which you survived them and can look back without wanting to change most.
Bravo.
Have a great day.
RGstar
Comment Written 08-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
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Thank you for the great review RG:)
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
"...a little broken(,) but(,)..."
What a fun journey back into your child part and remembering the good and the bad along with the advice to those of us not visiting their child side...yet.
This was very well written and fun to read. I love your child side.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
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"...a little broken(,) but(,)..."
What a fun journey back into your child part and remembering the good and the bad along with the advice to those of us not visiting their child side...yet.
This was very well written and fun to read. I love your child side.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much Barb for the review and catching the punctuation errors:)
Comment from Dawn Munro
I don't know how I keep missing contests - I check the listing every day I am on site. I would have written for this one just because I think it would be cathartic. Was it for you? It certainly sounds like it could have been, and it's quite wonderful! Just one little nit - I think those things are called 'boogers', not buggers.
What a great way you used to express what happened in childhood and what you might change! Best of luck in the contest, my friend. :)
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
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I don't know how I keep missing contests - I check the listing every day I am on site. I would have written for this one just because I think it would be cathartic. Was it for you? It certainly sounds like it could have been, and it's quite wonderful! Just one little nit - I think those things are called 'boogers', not buggers.
What a great way you used to express what happened in childhood and what you might change! Best of luck in the contest, my friend. :)
Comment Written 08-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
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This contest was put up probably 40-45 days ago. If you go to 'full contest listings' under 'contests', you will find everything.
Thank you so much for the great review and catching the spelling error - I changed it.
Yes, indeed it was cathartic.
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Thanks, Teresa. Must have been up one of the days I was away. That's the only listing, and I check it often. :)
You're very welcome.
Comment from robina1978
I am sorry that your life was not easy back then. I loved the set-up how you talk to yourself, being a kid. An original take on the subject. You made me smile and feel sad too. No changes needed. Best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
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I am sorry that your life was not easy back then. I loved the set-up how you talk to yourself, being a kid. An original take on the subject. You made me smile and feel sad too. No changes needed. Best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
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Thank you Ine for the honor of the six:)
Comment from tbacha58
Take my hand, hold your head up high, and together we'll reside.
Hello my dear, I enjoyed reading your story for the contest, it's so down to earth, as all of us when we were children had the tendency to do stupid things, of course, we regret once we get older, and we always need a hand to hold us. Beautiful writing, and good luck for the contest,must be a winner. Love Terry xoxoox It's been a long time since we shared.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
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Take my hand, hold your head up high, and together we'll reside.
Hello my dear, I enjoyed reading your story for the contest, it's so down to earth, as all of us when we were children had the tendency to do stupid things, of course, we regret once we get older, and we always need a hand to hold us. Beautiful writing, and good luck for the contest,must be a winner. Love Terry xoxoox It's been a long time since we shared.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much Terry. Good to connect with you again:)
