The M&M War
A small battle at my niece's reception.35 total reviews
Comment from F. Wehr3
Ha, ha, I enjoyed this little short piece. Unfortunately, I missed the vote on this one. I found a couple of minor things for your consideration.
I looked over my shoulder, but everyone seemed quiet.-- In general, I would suggest avoiding words like look, saw, felt.
"Okay, two can play this game," I thought.--For me, I like thoughts in two forms. one to put them in italics, or take off the quotation marks and use I thought because it gets confused with speech.
Well done! Congrats!
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2016
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Ha, ha, I enjoyed this little short piece. Unfortunately, I missed the vote on this one. I found a couple of minor things for your consideration.
I looked over my shoulder, but everyone seemed quiet.-- In general, I would suggest avoiding words like look, saw, felt.
"Okay, two can play this game," I thought.--For me, I like thoughts in two forms. one to put them in italics, or take off the quotation marks and use I thought because it gets confused with speech.
Well done! Congrats!
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 05-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2016
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Thank you, And thanks for the tips. I was not sure how to mark thoughts. Do you think italics are better than quotation marks?
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I like to use italics because it makes thoughts visually different than speech.
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Thanks, I will remember what you said.
Comment from dmt1967
This story made me laugh. Mary sounds fun and my type of person lol. I am always in trouble for the things I do lol. Great story and thank you for sharing.Good luck in the contest. Have a great weekend.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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This story made me laugh. Mary sounds fun and my type of person lol. I am always in trouble for the things I do lol. Great story and thank you for sharing.Good luck in the contest. Have a great weekend.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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Thank you. Mary loves to stir up trouble in a fun way. She got us both in hot water that time. I suppose a wedding reception is not the best place for a food fight.
Comment from crowdog110
This was very humorous. It just goes to show you what kind of unexpected shenanigans people can get up to at wedding parties. Too bad the rules of the contest did not allow for the bringing in of reinforcements to the action..could have resulted in M&M Armageddon. Good job!~
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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This was very humorous. It just goes to show you what kind of unexpected shenanigans people can get up to at wedding parties. Too bad the rules of the contest did not allow for the bringing in of reinforcements to the action..could have resulted in M&M Armageddon. Good job!~
Comment Written 05-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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Thank you. The contest only allowed 300 words so was very limited. Mary is an instigator but we all love her.
Comment from Ulla
Hi there, This is a great entry for the contest. It's really funny and I can just imagine the fun game with the M&M's. Pretty bored of the party? Well done. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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Hi there, This is a great entry for the contest. It's really funny and I can just imagine the fun game with the M&M's. Pretty bored of the party? Well done. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 05-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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Thank you for the great review and taking time to read.
Comment from johngie
Sure sounds like something you two would do. LOL. Who's wedding was that? I liked your story and can see all of it in my minds eye. Thanks Auntie
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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Sure sounds like something you two would do. LOL. Who's wedding was that? I liked your story and can see all of it in my minds eye. Thanks Auntie
Comment Written 04-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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Thanks. It was Melissa's wedding. Carol got really ticked off at Mary and I. I suppose it wasn't the thing to do at a wedding reception. I couldn't let Mary get away with it, though. Right?
Comment from barkingdog
It sounds like you and Mary were two bored kids at the party. If you were adults ... well ... you were both unconventional until the fun ended with John and Carol being caught in the crossfire.
Very funny, well written funny story.
Good luck in the contest.
:) ellen
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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It sounds like you and Mary were two bored kids at the party. If you were adults ... well ... you were both unconventional until the fun ended with John and Carol being caught in the crossfire.
Very funny, well written funny story.
Good luck in the contest.
:) ellen
Comment Written 04-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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Thank You. I'm ashamed to say that we were both adults and should have known better. My sister-in-law has always been very unconventional, but I didn't have to let her coerce me into a food fight. My bad.
Comment from seaglass
Ahhh, a food fight. This is what every bride wants to happen at her reception. At least it stopped early. I saw no errors or typos for this piece. It is nicely done and shares a humorous moment.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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Ahhh, a food fight. This is what every bride wants to happen at her reception. At least it stopped early. I saw no errors or typos for this piece. It is nicely done and shares a humorous moment.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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Thank you. Yes, I agree with you, it was not an appropriate time to have a food fight. I was kind of ashamed of myself later. My bad.
Comment from royowen
Well done, this sounds like so much fun, but can be the bane of older and wiser siblings who object to "generated" fun. I rather like this entry in this "the enjoyment of eating" although this is more about eating humble pie than M&Ms and peanuts. But well done, a fun entry, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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Well done, this sounds like so much fun, but can be the bane of older and wiser siblings who object to "generated" fun. I rather like this entry in this "the enjoyment of eating" although this is more about eating humble pie than M&Ms and peanuts. But well done, a fun entry, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 04-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2016
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Thank you. It was really not a good time to launch a food fight. My sister-in-law is very unconventional, but I didn't have to let her coerce me into such bad behavior. I'm as guilty as she is.
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Heh heh, well done
Comment from cterp
Yeah, this is my family too. Except it was peas and it was at the dinner table. My sister had one poised and ready to flip across the table at me when my father yelled, "Now knock it off!" She and I looked at each other, shrugged and laughed, and she did--knock it off, that is: sent that pea flying across the table.
Your story is very clever, and nicely written.
chris
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2016
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Yeah, this is my family too. Except it was peas and it was at the dinner table. My sister had one poised and ready to flip across the table at me when my father yelled, "Now knock it off!" She and I looked at each other, shrugged and laughed, and she did--knock it off, that is: sent that pea flying across the table.
Your story is very clever, and nicely written.
chris
Comment Written 04-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2016
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Thank you. We had a great time that night. My sister-in-law is always ready for fun.
Comment from lancellot
It is a nice little tale. You didn't say, but I think the M&M warriors may have been kids. If you add that and perhaps have them eat something. I would.
Well done.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2016
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It is a nice little tale. You didn't say, but I think the M&M warriors may have been kids. If you add that and perhaps have them eat something. I would.
Well done.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2016
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Thank you. I'm afraid not, my sister-in-law and I were long past the kid stage when this happened.
