Revolution
ABC Poem11 total reviews
Comment from Just2Write
Another poignant write on the state of affairs in the world today. The Great Apathy will bring about the Great Undoing. If none of us cares, then why do we get upset when someone or something brings about change?
Change is not always good, nor is it always bad.
Loved your use of sarcasm to put your point across.
Well done, Steve.
Rose.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2016
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Another poignant write on the state of affairs in the world today. The Great Apathy will bring about the Great Undoing. If none of us cares, then why do we get upset when someone or something brings about change?
Change is not always good, nor is it always bad.
Loved your use of sarcasm to put your point across.
Well done, Steve.
Rose.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2016
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Thanks, Rose - glad you enjoyed this little snipe at what's going on in the world. I see lots of complainers and not many 'doers'.
Steve
Comment from kathleenspalding
Hahaha! Oh, the inevitable fate of the anarchist society! Excellent poem uses the prompt and flows well. Excellent choice of artwork. I don't see anything that needs to be corrected. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2016
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Hahaha! Oh, the inevitable fate of the anarchist society! Excellent poem uses the prompt and flows well. Excellent choice of artwork. I don't see anything that needs to be corrected. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 30-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2016
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Thank you very much, Kathleen.
Steve
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You're welcome
Comment from Nika2016
Hilarious...poignant...oh so true that few care...as if lulled into a stupor of tv and videogames..cellphones and tablets...
even those who might care shall be disuaded by rain...
Good work.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2016
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Hilarious...poignant...oh so true that few care...as if lulled into a stupor of tv and videogames..cellphones and tablets...
even those who might care shall be disuaded by rain...
Good work.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2016
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I don't know about the rest of the world, but New Zealanders will allow just about anything to go by, as long as it doesn't interfere with our rugby!
Thanks for the review, Nika.
Steve
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi Steve,
I thought for a moment you were revealing something the rest of us new nothing about and then I read the last line.
I love your sense of humour on a really serious issue.
A fun read.
Btrnda:))x
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2016
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Hi Steve,
I thought for a moment you were revealing something the rest of us new nothing about and then I read the last line.
I love your sense of humour on a really serious issue.
A fun read.
Btrnda:))x
Comment Written 29-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2016
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Hi, Brenda.
Well, there's always a revolution going on somewhere. Just read a poem about the situation in Kashmir, which hasn't even made it onto our news bulletins here...
Thanks for the great review.
Steve
Comment from I am Cat
Sorry, the uprising is cancelled due to lack of interest...
LOLOL... This RULES!
I'm STILL laughing. SO well done, Steve, truly. And me with no flowers or sparklers either. rats.
hehe, I think this is such fun, of course, the underlying thing is... there are actually some people who were fist pumping the air along with you until the last line, then they hang their heads and slink off. ;)
ah well, better luck next revolution. ;)
(I hear they keep coming around and around. )
great luck with the contest Steve!
Cat
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2016
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Sorry, the uprising is cancelled due to lack of interest...
LOLOL... This RULES!
I'm STILL laughing. SO well done, Steve, truly. And me with no flowers or sparklers either. rats.
hehe, I think this is such fun, of course, the underlying thing is... there are actually some people who were fist pumping the air along with you until the last line, then they hang their heads and slink off. ;)
ah well, better luck next revolution. ;)
(I hear they keep coming around and around. )
great luck with the contest Steve!
Cat
Comment Written 28-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2016
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Hi, Cat.
Well, there's always a revolution going on somewhere. Just read a poem about the situation in Kashmir, which hasn't even made it onto our news bulletins here...
Thanks for the great review.
Steve
Comment from Hayley Solomon
Ha aha great entry, a very strong contender for first, I think.
A sad indictment on our apathetic society, but actually, now I think of it...
yes, I love our little haven just as it is.. cancel all revolutions....
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2016
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Ha aha great entry, a very strong contender for first, I think.
A sad indictment on our apathetic society, but actually, now I think of it...
yes, I love our little haven just as it is.. cancel all revolutions....
Comment Written 28-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2016
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Hi, Hayley. The funny thing is that most people here don't even realise just how lucky we are!
We could do with one or two little revolutions on a couple of fronts...
Steve
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
LOL of course only you would schedule such a happening and not check with other plans.lol
Very well done ABC dear friend
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2016
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LOL of course only you would schedule such a happening and not check with other plans.lol
Very well done ABC dear friend
Comment Written 28-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2016
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Thanks, Barb.
Glad you enjoyed my slightly twisted sense of humour.
Steve
Comment from krys123
Hello Steve;
-in writing this ABC formatted poem you have convinced me to join the uprising harbor when I see a path of interest and standalone I fear that I must inhibit my joining the fray. Your writing of this ABC format sparks an interest that I think is growing among, at least, the American people. Especially not if physically with prowess at least in spirit itself.
- thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
-Have a good one and take care.
Alex
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2016
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Hello Steve;
-in writing this ABC formatted poem you have convinced me to join the uprising harbor when I see a path of interest and standalone I fear that I must inhibit my joining the fray. Your writing of this ABC format sparks an interest that I think is growing among, at least, the American people. Especially not if physically with prowess at least in spirit itself.
- thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
-Have a good one and take care.
Alex
Comment Written 28-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2016
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Thanks, Alex. Yes, the American people are definitely looking restless, even from over here!
Steve
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You are very welcome Steve and you are right about the American people being a little edgy.
Alex
Comment from rama devi
Great closing twist in the final line with stark poetic contrast in tone and tenor, making it bitingly humorous and effective. You rock with satire, my friend!
True to form ABC...sure to place in the contest, I imagine.
The phonetics are great...especially the 'echoed sounds' like the U between fools and rule. Sounds super read aloud. great flow too...and intensity.
I like the near-rhyme assonance of EE and EA here:
Unleash the rage that seethes within your souls.
The consonance of L is good here too:
Vengeance shall be yours; let blood be spilled.
However, the above line is the weakest one in the poem because of being cliche. However, it fits well!
A six if I had one...
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2016
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Great closing twist in the final line with stark poetic contrast in tone and tenor, making it bitingly humorous and effective. You rock with satire, my friend!
True to form ABC...sure to place in the contest, I imagine.
The phonetics are great...especially the 'echoed sounds' like the U between fools and rule. Sounds super read aloud. great flow too...and intensity.
I like the near-rhyme assonance of EE and EA here:
Unleash the rage that seethes within your souls.
The consonance of L is good here too:
Vengeance shall be yours; let blood be spilled.
However, the above line is the weakest one in the poem because of being cliche. However, it fits well!
A six if I had one...
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 28-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2016
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Rama, thanks for the great review and the virtual six.
Satire, huh? It would kind of suit my mind-set and sense of humour.
I wasn't sure how that last line would be received, so I'm very glad you felt it worked.
Thanks again.
Steve
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Totally worked! :) Most welcome! My pleasure.
Warmly, rd
Comment from djsaxon
A mildly cynical spin on the sorry state of things, but timely. I am working on a poem called Apathy Is The New Black that hopefully will reflect the thrust of your last line. Still a ways to go. DJ
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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2016
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A mildly cynical spin on the sorry state of things, but timely. I am working on a poem called Apathy Is The New Black that hopefully will reflect the thrust of your last line. Still a ways to go. DJ
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2016
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We Kiwis are a fairly mild-mannered bunch. It'd take more than a small thing like a revolution to get us stirred up. Unless they had to cancel an All Blacks rugby match of course. That'd do it!
Steve
