Comment from Walu Feral

Excellent

G'day Ricky. Powerful stuff, mate.

"Do you need(knead) it?"

"Nah, too simple and too descreate!(discreet)"

"FUCKING,(space needed)SCHOOL DESK AND TAKE A TEST OF IT?'

"Do,(space)what they all do and because you are now so..."

"Just do what I did and take a bottle (of) pills!"

"GO, FOR THE FUCKING JUGGLER(jugular)..."

"AFTER ALL YOU,(space)COMMITTED A SON AND CAN'T GET"

"FUCKING,(space)FUN?"

"Because, (we) are now here in this downward direction!"

Practice makes perfect, as they say. When you write a number, it's best to write it in words.

Keep at it, my friend.

Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Jul-2016

Grammar style varies from,school taught, college, taught, to,street smart perfection.
Thats what punlishers editors are for!
Thanks anywho mate!
Ricky1024.

reply by Walu Feral on 28-Jul-2016

I agree, but punctuation and word spacing doesn't. Just trying to be helpful ids all. It's up to you, mate.

Comment from TPAC

Excellent

Not funny, but had to laugh at these presented thoughts. First the language and repeat of a cursing: often drinking does to me having just one strong curse word which I repeat often. Second the knife to the chess, which I had the same stand off. See you survived your as well.

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Jul-2016

Part Number Two Later and thanks for sharing...
Sometimes it is a FUCKED UP WORLD...
RICKY1024

Comment from Shelli 1

Good

This poem is obviously very intense and full of anger, I'm new at reviewing so I find myself at loss for words on this serious subject of suicide I can't imagine that much pain that would actually drive you down that road, I've known people that lost. children and spouses and I would imagine gave it a thought, but there faith and prayer sustain them

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Jul-2016

A doctor, a shrink,, family, not medications, institutions, money, sex, nothing but...
Time my friend Wil l heal the 'CRIPPLED MIND OF THE LOST SOUL."
RICKY1024

reply by Shelli 1 on 28-Jul-2016

I hope the very best for you

reply by the author on 28-Jul-2016

I am on...
"THE ROAD TO WELLNESS."
"MY SON...
"JASON RICHARD SMRKOVSKYAVE HIS ORGANS AND SAVED FOUR LIVES...
TODAY?"
THREE ARE STILL ALIVE OVER THIRTEEN, YEARS , LATER...
THE NAME OF HIS BAND?
"THREE WAYS TO SAVE."
"TO LEARN MORE ABOUT...
"Organ- Tissue Donations' simply call...
"The Gift of Life, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Lara S. MORETTI THE LSW.
AT 1- 800- DONORS- 1.

reply by the author on 28-Jul-2016

I am on...
"THE ROAD TO WELLNESS."
"MY SON...
"JASON RICHARD SMRKOVSKYAVE HIS ORGANS AND SAVED FOUR LIVES...
TODAY?"
THREE ARE STILL ALIVE OVER THIRTEEN, YEARS , LATER...
THE NAME OF HIS BAND?
"THREE WAYS TO SAVE."
"TO LEARN MORE ABOUT...
"Organ- Tissue Donations' simply call...
"The Gift of Life, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Lara S. MORETTI THE LSW.
AT 1- 800- DONORS- 1.

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

Excellent. great job, Ricky. This is much shorter than your usual writings. It is still dynamic even though it is short. I didn't see any errors.

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016

It's coming baby and HARD!!
RICKY1024

Comment from humpwhistle

Excellent

I guess I have to read the 60-some-odd chapters
to learn how to make a suide (sic) cake.
I suggest you make the spelling correction.
Are you sure three lines comprise the entire chapter?

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016

It's coming Hump AND HARD!!!
RICKY1024