Our Faith Renews
a faith contest entry poem25 total reviews
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
You are so right, but something called pride does not let forgiveness take place and something called meekness does not let apologies be accepted.
There is something very messed up.
Very well done
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You are so right, but something called pride does not let forgiveness take place and something called meekness does not let apologies be accepted.
There is something very messed up.
Very well done
Comment Written 27-Jul-2016
Comment from BeasPeas
So true. Family grudges have made life difficult for most people. These are very good lines:
"If you can't forgive me
That's a true shame
Because
Life is short"
A well written free verse on an important topic.
Marilyn
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So true. Family grudges have made life difficult for most people. These are very good lines:
"If you can't forgive me
That's a true shame
Because
Life is short"
A well written free verse on an important topic.
Marilyn
Comment Written 27-Jul-2016
Comment from country ranch writer
life is to short and holding a grudge can have a tremendous conflict amongst family and friends for many have forgotten what it was even about
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life is to short and holding a grudge can have a tremendous conflict amongst family and friends for many have forgotten what it was even about
Comment Written 27-Jul-2016
Comment from rmj09
This poem has met the requirements of Faith Poetry.
The poem focus a long held grudge.
The poem story line development: I won't be punished for something allegedly done. Life is short, if you can't forgive, that's a shame. I never killed, stole or said a hurtful word. You never said a word. Thirty years later, we are family, why do you shun me. Forgiveness is hard, it should be easier for blood.
The emotion felt FORGIVENESS it is harder to forgive blood as nothing should be done to loose their faith, but thirty years is gone and forgotten. Today is what we live in not tomorrow or yesterday. One hasn't come the other is forgotten. SAD to think someone would hang onto something so useless, it doesn't cause happy memories and that is all we should hang onto from yesterday.
The rhythm is a slow progression forward.
The natural pauses give us time to understand the meaning.
Keep on writing.
Good luck with the contest.
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This poem has met the requirements of Faith Poetry.
The poem focus a long held grudge.
The poem story line development: I won't be punished for something allegedly done. Life is short, if you can't forgive, that's a shame. I never killed, stole or said a hurtful word. You never said a word. Thirty years later, we are family, why do you shun me. Forgiveness is hard, it should be easier for blood.
The emotion felt FORGIVENESS it is harder to forgive blood as nothing should be done to loose their faith, but thirty years is gone and forgotten. Today is what we live in not tomorrow or yesterday. One hasn't come the other is forgotten. SAD to think someone would hang onto something so useless, it doesn't cause happy memories and that is all we should hang onto from yesterday.
The rhythm is a slow progression forward.
The natural pauses give us time to understand the meaning.
Keep on writing.
Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2016
Comment from krys123
Hi Dawn;
-you develop a combination of audio and visual techniques to create a message that I think, not all, and maybe some have experience in their lives, such as having a family split apart because of reasons not given clearly. I myself have not been able to visit my nieces because my brother does not want to see them for some reason and he never told me. It is very hard to not be forgiven for something you do not understand you have done and your poem reaches these circumstances very well.
I like the picture of the dove and in your poem which is very creative and imaginative. The picture of the Jesus in Gethsemane with an angel over Him and asking why his Lord has forsaken him is a very good picture to use for this writing.
-Good luck in the contest and have a good one.
Alex
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Hi Dawn;
-you develop a combination of audio and visual techniques to create a message that I think, not all, and maybe some have experience in their lives, such as having a family split apart because of reasons not given clearly. I myself have not been able to visit my nieces because my brother does not want to see them for some reason and he never told me. It is very hard to not be forgiven for something you do not understand you have done and your poem reaches these circumstances very well.
I like the picture of the dove and in your poem which is very creative and imaginative. The picture of the Jesus in Gethsemane with an angel over Him and asking why his Lord has forsaken him is a very good picture to use for this writing.
-Good luck in the contest and have a good one.
Alex
Comment Written 27-Jul-2016
Comment from Ricky1024
"A Faith Contest entree based on family."
"Interesting Adjective Content, which also was wonderful as well"
"Objective Content (based on theme as well as imagery) and on a scale of one to one hundred."
100.
RICKY1024
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
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"A Faith Contest entree based on family."
"Interesting Adjective Content, which also was wonderful as well"
"Objective Content (based on theme as well as imagery) and on a scale of one to one hundred."
100.
RICKY1024
Comment Written 27-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
Comment from Joy Graham
Hey Dawn! This faith poem hit home for me. One of my sisters makes my life difficult every chance she gets. I think it's because we have opposite outlooks on life. I do my best to avoid her because I don't want to be constantly put down. I gotta be able to breathe. I guess it's a sibling thing. I think we're both better off keeping our distance. I like that she finds happiness with her own kids and grandkids.
Nice faith poetry contest entry. It really spoke to me.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
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Hey Dawn! This faith poem hit home for me. One of my sisters makes my life difficult every chance she gets. I think it's because we have opposite outlooks on life. I do my best to avoid her because I don't want to be constantly put down. I gotta be able to breathe. I guess it's a sibling thing. I think we're both better off keeping our distance. I like that she finds happiness with her own kids and grandkids.
Nice faith poetry contest entry. It really spoke to me.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016
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I'm so sorry to hear it - family dynamics can be the WORST!
Comment from Mark Valentine
A profound topic for a poem. I have two sisters who don't speak to each other, and as my children approach adulthood, one of my most fervent wishes is that they stay connected to each other. You're sop right, tht blood matters and, if we forgive anyone, we surely should be able to forgive our kin,
This is well written - I especially like the third stanza with the repeated "I never..." - It drives home the point you are making.
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A profound topic for a poem. I have two sisters who don't speak to each other, and as my children approach adulthood, one of my most fervent wishes is that they stay connected to each other. You're sop right, tht blood matters and, if we forgive anyone, we surely should be able to forgive our kin,
This is well written - I especially like the third stanza with the repeated "I never..." - It drives home the point you are making.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2016
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
Dawn, this is really a very good entry into the contest! Very sad matter. I come from a large family (five siblings) and we all come with our own set of opinions, morals and we do disagree quite often. But, we are so close to each other and our parents! I can't imagine a day going by without speaking to everyone at least a few times during the course of the day. Let alone, to go for years, it must be very painful. Your words express that you are in disbelief over this and would love to reunite with the person. I pray that it will happen for you. As you stated in your poem, "life is too short". The flow is very smooth, as is its meter. I really enjoyed this emotive work and wish you best of luck in the contest! God bless and hugs, Susanne
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Dawn, this is really a very good entry into the contest! Very sad matter. I come from a large family (five siblings) and we all come with our own set of opinions, morals and we do disagree quite often. But, we are so close to each other and our parents! I can't imagine a day going by without speaking to everyone at least a few times during the course of the day. Let alone, to go for years, it must be very painful. Your words express that you are in disbelief over this and would love to reunite with the person. I pray that it will happen for you. As you stated in your poem, "life is too short". The flow is very smooth, as is its meter. I really enjoyed this emotive work and wish you best of luck in the contest! God bless and hugs, Susanne
Comment Written 27-Jul-2016
Comment from jlsavell
Dawn,Mahatma Ghandi said, "The weak can never forgive, forgiving is the attribute of the strong"
It appears thise whom have a vested interest in one's life tend to hold on for dear life to the hurt or misunderstanding. It is more severe and intense.
Your work is strong and says so much about the author.
Well done
Jimi
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Dawn,Mahatma Ghandi said, "The weak can never forgive, forgiving is the attribute of the strong"
It appears thise whom have a vested interest in one's life tend to hold on for dear life to the hurt or misunderstanding. It is more severe and intense.
Your work is strong and says so much about the author.
Well done
Jimi
Comment Written 27-Jul-2016
