Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

This is very interesting and a good read. It kept my attention so I hope I didn't miss any suggestions I could have given, but that's a good story.

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2016

Thank you, Barbara. What a sweet review! I'm glad I made it engaging. I so hate to bore people. I can tell I have when people say, "Okay, good set up, time for the action to begin." Hahaha..happens, so I have to try to keep the story moving.

Have a great weekend,
Rhonda

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Rhonda,

Nothing wrong with a bit of retro editing to make the story work. Shows good dedication to the story and craft.

the sounds of crushing of bones - perhaps just crushing bones here.

"What do you think your god, Aten, would think of your now?" - think of you now.

"You should have read your history more thouroughly - thoroughly.

All the best
G

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2016

Thanks, G, for the excellent review! I'm so glad you found the errors others, including myself, have missed.
Actually, the "of" bones was discovered by another reviewer as well. It was a bit awkward.
I'm always misspelling, thoroughly, and I don't know why, because I know the proper was to spell it. I just get carried away with the "u"!
At any rate, I so appreciate your careful eyes.
Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from Dustybones

Excellent

Very good writing. I liked this chapter best so far. Maybe because it reminded me of the TV show Criminal Minds. The guy is crazy and he's finally caught. Tie up the dog! I love dogs though? dustybones

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016

Yeah, I probably watch too much Criminal Minds, lol.
I like dogs, too, but it's a naughty word in the Middle East...shhh, don't tell!
Thanks for the excellent review, my friend!
Rhonda

Comment from Mabaker

Excellent

This was a satisfying chapter I like this story it has keep up the pace well and hasn't lagged at all as sometimes in a big write that can happen but you've kept the pace well. Good job.

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and that you took the time to review.
Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from Jim Lorson Sr

Exceptional

Rhonda, of all the chapters I have read, this one is the absolute best. All of the interactions with what I thought to be the bad guy, Akie, Elizabeth, Sally and the rest of the Daredevil members. Akie, with the help of the girls subdued Holly and then call Emory Settler for police help. Wow Rhonda,this is so exceptional!

You know you grab my attention right away and you keep until the end! That is hard for anyone to do with me. The phone rang and it went to voicemail.

Have a great day my friend,,,,,,,,Jim

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016

Wow, Jim, thank you so much! I, who am seldom at a loss for words, am verbally speechless. I am so glad you enjoyed the story, and that it held you so captivated. That means a lot to me.
I'm glad you liked the way it all worked out in the end for the group. Akie was a jerk, but he's willing to pay the price for his sins.
A heads up: while one story ends, the bigger one is about to begin with the "outer" story. Nancy and the others are about to find the past coming back to haunt them.

Thank you again and again!!!
Rhonda

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

Excellent. This story just keeps getting better. It is action packed from start to finish. I have been following this story and am waiting anxiously for the next chapter. I didn't find any errors.

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016

Thank you so much!! You are very sweet for reading and commenting.
The story is still very much in motion. The bigger story is about to take place.
Have a great evening,
Rhonda

Comment from Mike Stevens

Excellent

Another fine chapter, Rhonda--and Akie finally wised up, huh? Took him 3,000 years, but he finally made it--that Mike Holly, one bad dude!

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016

Sorry for the name Mike, but the book was written in its original form way before I knew you...Maybe I can rename him Donald... haha.
Thanks for the review,
Rhonda

reply by Mike Stevens on 27-Jul-2016

I'm a bad-ass--or at least half a bad-ass--I le it!

reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016

That's funny!

reply by Mike Stevens on 28-Jul-2016

'le' was supposed to be 'like', 'Doh!'

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

It looks like things are working out for the better. The plans have been foiled and the bad guy captured. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016

Thanks so much, Charlie. While one story ends, the bigger one begins. Stay tuned.
Have a great evening,
Rhonda

Comment from Douglas Paul

Exceptional

This is a great conclusion to your story. Good action and believable. I have enjoyed this one, my friend. Your writing is clear and fluid as always and I see no errors

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016

Thank you, Douglas, for you wonderful six star review.
The story isn't close to being over, but this segment is. There is still the story that's about to unfold in the "outer story", where the new and old Daredevils will have the past come back to haunt them. These two sub stories have just been setting up the real one.
Thanks, again, for the brilliant review,
Rhonda

reply by Douglas Paul on 27-Jul-2016

Ahhhh - glad to hear there is more to come

Comment from RPSaxena

Exceptional

Hello Rhonda,
It's a nice piece in continuation, having fast, but smooth and captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end.
Some dialogues, especially "You run pretty good for a girl with no soul," Mike said.
"And you run pretty good for an old fat guy," are noteworthy.
On the whole, interesting and worth enjoying!

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 27-Jul-2016

Thank you so much for the brilliant six star review! I'm glad it worked out to me smooth. You never know until someone else reads it!
Thanks for pointing out the parts you liked.
You're the greatest!
Rhonda