The Garden Door
An Awdl Gynt poem - see notes52 total reviews
Comment from RGstar
I would not have known the complexities of the write had I not read your notes, yet, its the delivery that is paramount, and as usual, you do not disappoint, my friend. I especially liked the last verse...super.
I knew nothing of this God or entity. I continue to learn. Thank you.
Have a great day, Tony.
My best.
RGstar
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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I would not have known the complexities of the write had I not read your notes, yet, its the delivery that is paramount, and as usual, you do not disappoint, my friend. I especially liked the last verse...super.
I knew nothing of this God or entity. I continue to learn. Thank you.
Have a great day, Tony.
My best.
RGstar
Comment Written 23-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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So glad you enjoyed it, Roy! It's an intricate form but interesting to write. Thank you for your kind words. Greatly appreciated! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Slythytove2
I thought the poem itself was a nice tribute to someone. The explanation of the format is beyond my patience level. I don't believe that any explaining how a poem is written helps with the understand of the piece itself, which is supposed to be the thrust of the work. But that's just me.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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I thought the poem itself was a nice tribute to someone. The explanation of the format is beyond my patience level. I don't believe that any explaining how a poem is written helps with the understand of the piece itself, which is supposed to be the thrust of the work. But that's just me.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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Thank you for your comments! It's an intricate form but interesting to write. I agree with you that author notes are usually redundant. They are included here so that those who are unfamiliar with the form can judge whether the poem meets the criteria for the contest. Best wishes, Tony
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Thanks too.
Comment from Just2Write
Excellent work here, Tony. I think that the Pantygynt forms have all bee a bonus for those of us at FS that love the beauty of poetry. You really shine with this submission.
I like the 'feel' of rhythm that is created by the gentle rocking of the words in this poem, and your tribute to Hong Shi is reverent, and respectful of the scent of the olive and its interrelation in the garden with the purity of water and the aura of peace and contentment.
You do a great job in bringing all of this together in your poem.
Rose.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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Excellent work here, Tony. I think that the Pantygynt forms have all bee a bonus for those of us at FS that love the beauty of poetry. You really shine with this submission.
I like the 'feel' of rhythm that is created by the gentle rocking of the words in this poem, and your tribute to Hong Shi is reverent, and respectful of the scent of the olive and its interrelation in the garden with the purity of water and the aura of peace and contentment.
You do a great job in bringing all of this together in your poem.
Rose.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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Thank you so much both for your lovely comments and for the accolade of six stars. Very much appreciated, Rose.
I made one or two mistakes in the format of this and so have had to change a few lines for the contest. I hope it still meets with your approval!
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I'm not sure how your poem went before the changes, but I did do a re-read and found that everything still has that same feel and flow that I had when I read it the first time. Best of luck in the contest. This poem is going to be tough to beat. Rose.
Comment from Neonewman
Interesting form of poetry! I have yet to experience this intriguing style. I loved it! The enjambment was particularly spot on Tony!
I shall not mourn this gentle man
whose yin and yang contrived
to harmonise when magpies sang
and Pan himself arrived
to echo their sweet song. His soul
inhabits me and makes me whole
when, at his fount, I fill my bowl,
consoled, his honey hived.
BRILLIANT!!!!!
God bless!
Steve
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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Interesting form of poetry! I have yet to experience this intriguing style. I loved it! The enjambment was particularly spot on Tony!
I shall not mourn this gentle man
whose yin and yang contrived
to harmonise when magpies sang
and Pan himself arrived
to echo their sweet song. His soul
inhabits me and makes me whole
when, at his fount, I fill my bowl,
consoled, his honey hived.
BRILLIANT!!!!!
God bless!
Steve
Comment Written 23-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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Thank you so much both for your comments and for the accolade of six stars, Steve. Very much appreciated.
I made one or two mistakes in the format of this and so have had to change a few lines for the contest. I hope it still meets with your approval!
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Stunning performance Tony!
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Stunning performance Tony!
Comment from Dawn Munro
This is only the second time I've read a poem written to this form, so I am anything but qualified to review, Tony, I'm sad to say...but...as I have said to you before, I will darn well review anyway, and simply state my feelings about what I read. MARVELOUS! In fact, I will shelve this beauty as a learning tool as well as something to savor more than once. (Again, no sixes, but I love it that much!)
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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This is only the second time I've read a poem written to this form, so I am anything but qualified to review, Tony, I'm sad to say...but...as I have said to you before, I will darn well review anyway, and simply state my feelings about what I read. MARVELOUS! In fact, I will shelve this beauty as a learning tool as well as something to savor more than once. (Again, no sixes, but I love it that much!)
Comment Written 23-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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Thank you, Dawn. I very much appreciate your kind comments. It's an intricate form but interesting to write. I hope that you enjoy having a go at it sometime in the future. Best wishes, Tony
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You are most welcome - my pleasure. :)
Comment from Bill Schott
This awdl gynt, The Garden Door, follows the format described and carries a message of tribute to both the the scene and sounds of this area, but also the mythology that a setting like this would create. Pleasant read.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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This awdl gynt, The Garden Door, follows the format described and carries a message of tribute to both the the scene and sounds of this area, but also the mythology that a setting like this would create. Pleasant read.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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Thank you, Bill. I very much appreciate your kind comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from chcbeck
Your poem is a beautifully written contest entry. I struggle with engaging with this style but you have made it look effortless. Good luck.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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Your poem is a beautifully written contest entry. I struggle with engaging with this style but you have made it look effortless. Good luck.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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Thank you, chcbeck. I very much appreciate your kind comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from royowen
Nicely written with the skill and craftiness of a skilled and articulate wordsmith, your abilities are to be admired and coveted Tony, I've never met you or Mark Fowler, well maybe on day. I love the author notes which explain the intricacies of this style, well done my friend, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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Nicely written with the skill and craftiness of a skilled and articulate wordsmith, your abilities are to be admired and coveted Tony, I've never met you or Mark Fowler, well maybe on day. I love the author notes which explain the intricacies of this style, well done my friend, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 23-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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Thank you so much both for your compliments, Roy. Very much appreciated.
I made one or two mistakes in the format of this and so have had to change a few lines for the contest. I hope it still meets with your approval!
Perhaps, one day, the three of us should arrange to meet up somewhere. I'm seldom in the northern suburbs, except for occasional visits to the Tea Tree Gully Library for Ginninderra Press events. However, if you are ever down this way, I'd be delighted if you were able to drop in. Directions and contact info are on our B&B website, brooklands.net.au
Comment from Aussie
A wonderful story/poem where man turns back into whence he came. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. And yet, the spirit is eternal and lives on, moves to another body, another life. Most enjoyable my friend.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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A wonderful story/poem where man turns back into whence he came. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. And yet, the spirit is eternal and lives on, moves to another body, another life. Most enjoyable my friend.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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Thank you, Aussie. I very much appreciate your kind comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Dean Kuch
This is a wonderfully well composed Awdl Gynt poem, Tony. Having written a couple of poems in this form myself, I fully realize how difficult it is to get the internal rhyming in the right places, keep the proper meter throughout while creating an intriguing story line behind the context.
You've done a marvelous job in all phases, I feel.
The story of your Uncle's ashes being sewn into the lush loam of his garden, evoking sweet supple scents brought there by the spirit of Hong Shi was fabulous and rendered beautifully.
Bravo, sir!
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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This is a wonderfully well composed Awdl Gynt poem, Tony. Having written a couple of poems in this form myself, I fully realize how difficult it is to get the internal rhyming in the right places, keep the proper meter throughout while creating an intriguing story line behind the context.
You've done a marvelous job in all phases, I feel.
The story of your Uncle's ashes being sewn into the lush loam of his garden, evoking sweet supple scents brought there by the spirit of Hong Shi was fabulous and rendered beautifully.
Bravo, sir!
Comment Written 22-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
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Thank you so much both for your compliments, Dean. Very much appreciated.
I made one or two mistakes in the format of this and so have had to change a few lines for the contest. I hope it still meets with your approval!
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I'll take another look at it, Tony, but I'm sure it's perfect.
