Comment from trishg11

Excellent

Reading it the first time I was easily able to imagine the experience of this scenario. I read it a second time and got a deeper sense of the message. I particularly enjoyed the lines "both man and beast can interact in life the way its meant to be." Thank you for sharing!

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016

Thank you so much, Trish, I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. :) Sandra xx

Comment from sage17611

Excellent

I really like your interpretation of the picture. Your poem is nicely expressed about the interaction of man and beast. I like the the lines "The children play upon the sand," and "all creatures are born to be free." The poem flows nicely with smooth rhyming. Good job, thanks for sharing your vision.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016

Thank you so much, Sage, I'm delighted you enjoyed it. :) Sandra xxx

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

Well, if this is you having trouble with your muse, long may such trouble continue for this is both delightful, extremely well put together and an original take on the picture that so many, including myself have treated with disrespectful humour.

The cattle have at least a line in each stanza, first when the adult attitude is addressed, second when the kids are considered and, finally, in the third stanza, when the conclusion is delivered.

If I have anything to add it would that, to preserve the unity of the poem you change the tense of the the first line to the present: "The parents just (stood) stand up and (stared) stare." The whole thing is then in the present -- the now.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016

Thank you, Jim! I have been back and changed it to the present tense, thank goodness for your eagle eyes! :) I'm glad you liked it, I have been having trouble getting words together lately, perhaps now I can get my act together and start again. Thanks again, my friend. xx Sandra

reply by Pantygynt on 20-Jul-2016

You are most welcome. Happy to have helped.

reply by Pantygynt on 20-Jul-2016

I just revisited and was amazed at the difference that tense change makes. The whole thing hangs together beautifully now.

Comment from chcbeck

Excellent

Well I enjoyed this poem, and love the message that people and animals create a bigger picture. I love the idealistic view of children building sandcastles. Good job with the picture.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016

Thank you so much for this lovely review! I couldn't think of anything for ages, and the rest of the group were all doing a fine job. Some pictures are harder than others, I'm glad you liked mine, thank you. :) Sandra

Comment from heyjude

Excellent

Sandra, what a lovely poem for the picture this challenge. Wish I could do as well when my muse is working. It is a relaxing feeling.to.this poem. Wouldn't it.be nice.to enjoy the animals

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016

Hi Judy, I found this one very hard to write about. In the end it was just a little one, but it's done! LOL. Thank you, my friend. :) Sandra xx

Comment from RoostyNester

Excellent

Nice picture challenge poem! Good touch with the children enjoying the sand as the cattle look on. Well chosen words and verses to relate the freedom of the cattle!

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 Comment Written 20-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016

Thank you so much, RoostyNester, for you lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :) Sandra xx