Oh, Lucky Day
A man on a mission53 total reviews
Comment from LisaD123
This is an excellent take on the prompt. The reader's attention is maintained due to the pace of the pilot. The setting is cleverly created and the reader has a thorough understanding of what is going on. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016
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This is an excellent take on the prompt. The reader's attention is maintained due to the pace of the pilot. The setting is cleverly created and the reader has a thorough understanding of what is going on. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016
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Thank you so much for taking time to read my story. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from LIJ Red
I liked to have never. I say it all the time, but never write it. Why? Beats me. Seems awkward somehow. Need a hint early on that there is hope, like a chopper, somewhere out there. Looks like a rootin' tootin' adventure story budding here. Excellent.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016
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I liked to have never. I say it all the time, but never write it. Why? Beats me. Seems awkward somehow. Need a hint early on that there is hope, like a chopper, somewhere out there. Looks like a rootin' tootin' adventure story budding here. Excellent.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016
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LOL! This is one of those times when I looked up and saw a 500 word contest with about an hour to get it written, find a picture, and get it posted. I wrote the piece in 11 minutes. Of course, now I see all kinds of things that aren't right, but I'm not saying a word, hoping not too many people catch them all. Thank you so much for taking time to read my story. Your kind words, suggestions, and generous review are greatly appreciated, as always. :-)
Comment from mfowler
This seems to be the work of someone who's spent time in combat. The inclusion
of so many technical words and moves gives the reader a sense of the place, the
intensity of the war, and the dire plight of your hero's escape from attack. I really
got into the runs from the machine gun bullets, but the leap into the arroyo was the
action that stirred my blood. A fine action piece. Best of luck in the contest.
One query:
I like to have never caught my breath...something's wrong with this but I can't figure
what. It makes no senses at the moment.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016
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This seems to be the work of someone who's spent time in combat. The inclusion
of so many technical words and moves gives the reader a sense of the place, the
intensity of the war, and the dire plight of your hero's escape from attack. I really
got into the runs from the machine gun bullets, but the leap into the arroyo was the
action that stirred my blood. A fine action piece. Best of luck in the contest.
One query:
I like to have never caught my breath...something's wrong with this but I can't figure
what. It makes no senses at the moment.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2016
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Thank you so much for taking time to read my story. Your kind words, comments, and generous review are greatly appreciated, as always. Yes, "I like to have never caught my breath" was written in the way people from around where I'm from talk. I was copying the words I've heard said by an old soldier who lived up the street and always told us kids stories, talked. I think I better change that around a little. :-)
