Hora haiku (Horror haiku)
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "horror haiku ( cemetery leaves )"A co-authored book of dark haiku poetry
39 total reviews
Comment from RShipp
Writing a haiku at a time and passing it on sounds great! I did a similar vocabulary creating-a-story with my students in school- but they usually used their purpose to make it difficult to use another vocabulary word. I like the premise!
Hearing the crackling leaves- and knowing it's not your footsteps- awesome!
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2020
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Writing a haiku at a time and passing it on sounds great! I did a similar vocabulary creating-a-story with my students in school- but they usually used their purpose to make it difficult to use another vocabulary word. I like the premise!
Hearing the crackling leaves- and knowing it's not your footsteps- awesome!
Comment Written 05-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2020
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Thank you very much my friend.
Comment from Sasha
I am a conundrum. I love Gothic and I hate to be frightened...but you may well change that aspect of my personality with great haikus like this one. I read the synopsis and found it fascinating and am hoping to catch up on all the chapters I have missed. Terrific work with this one. I enjoyed it very much and am excited about reading more.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2016
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I am a conundrum. I love Gothic and I hate to be frightened...but you may well change that aspect of my personality with great haikus like this one. I read the synopsis and found it fascinating and am hoping to catch up on all the chapters I have missed. Terrific work with this one. I enjoyed it very much and am excited about reading more.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2016
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Hello, Smurphgirlshasha ... ooph, that is a mouth full. LOL
I am so happy you are on board with us. You know how it goes, haiku are short so you will catch up in no time. Book one ended tonight but Book two is coming out next week so there will be plenty to read. :) Let me know if you have any questions about the book. Take care, sweetie pie,
Gypsy
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Very good Gypsy, love the opening line - cemetery leaves - makes me imagine someone crunching as they sneak through - too late to run. Good one,
cheers
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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Very good Gypsy, love the opening line - cemetery leaves - makes me imagine someone crunching as they sneak through - too late to run. Good one,
cheers
Comment Written 20-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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Hello, there,
Thank you for the review and kind words, I appreciate your feedback, my friend. :)
Gypsy
Comment from djsaxon
I like it but I am a little confused. Should the haiku not be a 5 7 5 construct? Forgive my ignorance if I am wrong. cheers - DJ
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reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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I like it but I am a little confused. Should the haiku not be a 5 7 5 construct? Forgive my ignorance if I am wrong. cheers - DJ
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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Haiku does not have to be 5/7/5, it just has to be LESS than 17 syllables. Basho, the greatest haikuist in history wrote this haiku in the 17th century.
The old pond
A frog leaps in.
Splash!
~Matsuo Basho
You should not critic poorly what you don't know or understand
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Sorry. Thank you for the enlightenment. I don't think four stars rates as poor. I have to be honest with my emotional response to what is written is all, as you will always be. DJ
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I understand what reviews are about and I have learned a great deal from them since I joined FS almost two years ago.
As I understand the fanstory reviewing rules four stars mean that there is something wrong with the poem that needs correction and the reviewer should give feedback on how to correct it if he knows how. If it was wrong to not have 5/7/5 syllable format I would have a chance to correct but that is not the case. As I showed you, my poem is now wrong nor in need of correction.
I don't have a problem getting a four-stars review if there is something wrong with my poem and I get some constructive criticism. I didn't get either one from you, just that you don't understand haiku and you don't know the form. That is pretty useless to me. Please, next time you don't understand or know what I'm writing- SKIP me and move on to the next poet. Thank you
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day mate. Crikey, this could end up giving this old bloke bloody nightmares lol. You two have come up with a great idea and I'll certainly try and read along. Well done on this one.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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G'day mate. Crikey, this could end up giving this old bloke bloody nightmares lol. You two have come up with a great idea and I'll certainly try and read along. Well done on this one.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 13-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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G'day Fez :) How are you all in the Philippines? We are having warm weather in Sacramento, California but not too bad.
We both like horror so we are having a good time writing these horror haiku. :) Just wait until you see the next one....hehe
Hugs
Gypsy
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It's all good here. We are rebuilding the inside of the house (for the second time in 6 weeks) after the last flood, so the boys are all busy concreting and things. The weather is looking good for a while now, fingers crossed.
Comment from l.raven
HI Gypsy, that is wonderful you and Dean are writing a book together sweet girl...I love your poem you...and it wood never be to late for me to run...and your picture...eekkkkk...LOL...well done you...love ya Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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HI Gypsy, that is wonderful you and Dean are writing a book together sweet girl...I love your poem you...and it wood never be to late for me to run...and your picture...eekkkkk...LOL...well done you...love ya Linda xxoo
Comment Written 12-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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Love you to too, sweetie pie. :) thank you for reading us.
~Gypsy
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you are soooooo welcome Gypsy...ALWAYS...love ya Linda xxoo
Comment from Pam (respa)
-I like the artwork.
-Good format.
-Connection is good between lines one and two.
-Imagery is effective in the second line.
-Good concluding line.
-Thanks for sharing; good luck with the project.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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-I like the artwork.
-Good format.
-Connection is good between lines one and two.
-Imagery is effective in the second line.
-Good concluding line.
-Thanks for sharing; good luck with the project.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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Thank you very much :) You are very kind.
Gypsy
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You are very welcome.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Gypsy
This is a fine horror haiku for your book
with excellent concrete, eerie imagery
and solid grammatical connection
written in the present tense
Good use of alliteration
As you know, I'm a proponent of the succinct form of haiku
One suggestion I'd offer for the satori line:
shadows creep
though yours works nicely too
Great presentation
Best wishes for the success of the book
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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Hello Gypsy
This is a fine horror haiku for your book
with excellent concrete, eerie imagery
and solid grammatical connection
written in the present tense
Good use of alliteration
As you know, I'm a proponent of the succinct form of haiku
One suggestion I'd offer for the satori line:
shadows creep
though yours works nicely too
Great presentation
Best wishes for the success of the book
Comment Written 12-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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Thank you very much :) You are very kind.
Gypsy
Comment from Muffins
This is a great project and you couldn't have picked a more talented writer to work with and push you creatively.
Darkness & horror are painted perfectly in each line. The last line leaves the imagination running wild.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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This is a great project and you couldn't have picked a more talented writer to work with and push you creatively.
Darkness & horror are painted perfectly in each line. The last line leaves the imagination running wild.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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Thank you very much :) You are very kind.
Gypsy
Comment from Ulla
Hola Gitana, me encanta. Que bueno es. I think it's a great project you and Dean have embarked on. I didn't know that this existed, the horror haiku , I mean, but this is brilliant. Looking forward to read, as your book unfolds. Un abrazo de tu amiga, Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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Hola Gitana, me encanta. Que bueno es. I think it's a great project you and Dean have embarked on. I didn't know that this existed, the horror haiku , I mean, but this is brilliant. Looking forward to read, as your book unfolds. Un abrazo de tu amiga, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 12-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016
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Hola guapa, we came up with the idea but I google to find out if anybody else does and sure enough, other people write horror haiku. Mostly western modern haiku but I found out Japanese haikuist write ''death haiku,' since the 17th century. It is very interesting. :)
gracias Ulla,
Tu amiga a gitana
