Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a very good story you have penned. I was sitting on the edge of my seat as I read it to myself. Very good wording and great imagery. I did see this and I hope it helps.
She opens he eyes

did you mean her?

great job and good luck in the contest. Teri

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 Comment Written 03-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016

I did! I'm terrible catching stuff like that! thanks for finding it!!!!!! Hope you're having a great day!

reply by Teri7 on 03-Jul-2016

you are so welcome my friend. It has been a great day thus far. hugs, Teri

reply by Anonymous Member on 07-Jul-2016

you are so welcome my friend. It has been a great day thus far. hugs, Teri

Comment from F. Wehr3

Excellent

Very nice heart felt story. I enjoyed this, but I would recommend spacing your paragraphs out. You need to do this manually. There was one sentence I had a little trouble with: I scan the room with my eyes.-- this, I feel, is unnecessary and a little redundant. What else would you use to scan the room, your ears, lol. Good job on this piece.

Take care,
Russell

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 Comment Written 03-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016

LOL good point!!!!! hehehe thanks for reading!!!