Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I just discovered your writing and then I went on vacation. I promise to get in the groove and not miss so many of your great posts.

"That may be true," Bruce said, "but that's not what where we should focus." (You used the speech tag correctly. I've taken hits for it on this site, but you did great.)

"I do," Becky said, looking up now. "There's a weight called a bob on a string, and it sort of swings back and forth on a stand." (It's not wrong, but so I don't use so many speech tags, here I would just write it: "I do." Becky looked up. "There's a weight called a bob on a string, and it sort of swings back and forth on a stand.")

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016

Oh, okay, thanks. That does sound much better, thanks. I think speech tags are what get me in the most trouble. I'm on vacation, too, so am pretty far behind myself. Thanks for the great review,
Rhonda

Comment from F. Wehr3

Excellent

Nice work on this chapter. I enjoyed how them trying to solve the problem and relating it to math. Math is power, lol. Looking forward to the next piece.

Take care,
Russell

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016

I tried to think like a student, and try to relate to something they might. Yes, math is power!!
Thanks for the review,
Rhonda

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

Thanks ever so much for your elaborate introduction and synopsis at the end. I vaguely remembered Daredevils, but I think I only read one other chapter. I find this well written and thrilling.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016

Thank you, Robina. I am so glad you decided to read another chapter!! I think it's grown as a book since the beginning, and I know I have. With all they contributions from fellow Fanstorians, I feel I've learned a lot.
Thanks, again,
Rhonda

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Rhonda,

Good chapter again here. I have to say I was waiting for Sally to appear and get clobbered, but it was just as satisfying! LOL

Becky tried to stand to her feet - 'to her feet' is superfluous here as where else would she be standing?

Good place to pause the action too.

All the best
G

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016

Thanks for the review and comments. True, unless she's an acrobat, the feet are pretty much it. Lol.
I was afraid it was a tad obvious on Sally catching the trap, and would have worked better for Tabby to go first as a distraction, but I need another distraction for her story. I'll work on that for later!

Thanks again,
Rhonda

Comment from RPSaxena

Exceptional

Hello Rhonda,
The story is moving forward in an interesting way.
Phraseology is simple as well as impressive.
Smooth and captivating flow from the beginning to the end.
The most striking parts are:
Pendulum episode; and the lines "Not if we just give up," I said. "Who are we?"
"I know what you're getting at; we're Daredevil Girls," / & "....For every problem, there's always a solution. It might not be easy to figure out at first, but if you keep working at it, you'll get it."
Entertaining and educative!

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016

Thank you for the wonderful and detailed review. Thanks, also for the brilliant six stars!
I so appreciate the way you've told me your favorite parts. That's very helpful!
Have a great weekend,
Rhonda

Comment from trumby

Exceptional

Very well written. I've been missing your stories while I was away.
The Daredevil girls certainly know how to get themselves into a pickle, don't they?
It's fortunate that they also know how to work together to get out of strife though.
With all the current trouble with ISIS, I think that this would be a very popular section of your book.
At the moment, NO-ONE trusts anyone from the middle east.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016

Thanks, my friend, for the brilliant 6 star rating. I've missed you. Where have you been??
I actually wrote this book before the Isis situation, and love Egyptian history, but it ends up fitting in with the times. I bought back my rights on the book and am revising and editing.
You're right about the girls finding themselves in a pickle, and, you'll find out, they are still getting into trouble.

Thanks for the review,
Rhonda

reply by trumby on 03-Jul-2016

My wife was over here on a tourist visa from the Philippines for 3 months. I was busy sampling female beauty products second-hand. It was her 1st trip overseas.
We were only married in October, 2015.

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016

Oh, wow, congratulations!! How exciting. I've only been married to Wayne for three years. Late marriages are often free of young people hang ups. Have fun,
Rhonda

Comment from MelB

Excellent

Hi Rhonda, I'm sure enjoying this story! What a great plan they had. That is, until Sally came walking through that door. I hope she isn't hurt, as they will need her help too.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016

Thanks, Melissa. I'm sure Sally will be just fine...
Thanks for reading and reviewing, my friend. I usually write two chapters per week, but I'm so busy with the grandkids and all. It is nice to see them.
Have a great weekend,
Rhonda

Comment from seaglass

Excellent

Best plans often don't work on the first try. Hopefully Sally isn't injured too badly and they will have practiced before their real enemy arrives. Their defeat of their captor is soon coming.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016

Indeed, they are going to have to muster the forces pretty quickly! Time's running out quickly.
Thanks for stopping by again. I sincerely appreciate your review,

Rhonda

Comment from mfowler

Exceptional

Excellent chapter, Rhonda. Loved the way you handled the switch of voice at the beginning. Very slick and believable. The problem solving in adversity is the hallmark of this group, and the way they talked it through, both engineering a solution and overcome initial fears was really well done. Bruce plays a pivotal part in this. Killer ending with Sally 'sarcophagussed', not that queer bird, Ackie. Excellent segue. Deserving of a late week sixer.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016

Thank you, my friend. I am greatly honored by your six star review. I'm also very impressed you have one left. I used to be so good at spreading them out, but haven't lately. To get a six from you is rare and to be treasured.
Thanks, also for the specific comments. That's so helpful! Also, I like the way you summarized the main messages of this book. I couldn't have put it better myself.
Thanks, again,
Rhonda

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Rhonda

= Now that the gang is back together, watch out, because they'll be a force to reckon with, I'm sure.
= What a cliffhanger at the end!
= Excellent writing. Can't wait to see what happens.

****** HAPPY & SAFE 4TH of JULY--2016 ******

(*>*) A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
Cheers & Blessings ~ Jacqueline ~ Jackie ~ Jax

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Jul-2016

Thank you, Jax! Cliff hanger is pretty darn close to what's going on with poor Sally.
Thanks, as always, for your great support and careful eye.

Have a great 4th of July as well,

Rhonda