When Blood Collides
Viewing comments for Chapter 96 "Time to Let Go of the Old"A family's love is tested.
15 total reviews
Comment from barkingdog
This rambled a bit more that I liked. I needed a line to connect all of the information. You know these people--so many-- I don't so got lost.
The writing is clear, but what's in it that adds to your book? Maybe, you have more than one chapter here if you expand on parts that add to your personal story.
To off into the new family members or ones that you mentioned so long ago that I've forgotten them had me lost.
:) e
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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This rambled a bit more that I liked. I needed a line to connect all of the information. You know these people--so many-- I don't so got lost.
The writing is clear, but what's in it that adds to your book? Maybe, you have more than one chapter here if you expand on parts that add to your personal story.
To off into the new family members or ones that you mentioned so long ago that I've forgotten them had me lost.
:) e
Comment Written 30-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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You're absolutely right. I took out over four hundred words. Thanks for the honesty, Ellen.
Comment from LisaD123
This is an entertaining and enjoyable read. The reader is able to question his/her own mortality whilst reading. The mechanics of everyday life are cleverly explained and the explanations of everyday life add to the feeling that the reader is gaining insight into someone else's life. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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This is an entertaining and enjoyable read. The reader is able to question his/her own mortality whilst reading. The mechanics of everyday life are cleverly explained and the explanations of everyday life add to the feeling that the reader is gaining insight into someone else's life. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Thank you, Lisa, for your valuable input on this. I appreciate the excellent rating as well as the review.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Shari
= It is hard losing contact with dear friends, and then so many changes on both sides, if you're lucky enough to reconnect.
= Much more difficult, of course, is having to watch your hubby lose his sense of self.
= I can't say as I blame him for telling that gal off, and leaving the Drama Club. Something he loved, and then to end as it did. Grrrr.
= Well told chapter.
=::= A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside Down! =:=
Jacqueline M Franklin (*_*)
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Hi, Shari
= It is hard losing contact with dear friends, and then so many changes on both sides, if you're lucky enough to reconnect.
= Much more difficult, of course, is having to watch your hubby lose his sense of self.
= I can't say as I blame him for telling that gal off, and leaving the Drama Club. Something he loved, and then to end as it did. Grrrr.
= Well told chapter.
=::= A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside Down! =:=
Jacqueline M Franklin (*_*)
Comment Written 30-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Thanks, Jax. I went back in and shortened this by 400 words to focus on the main issue. I appreciate you comments on the Drama Club. I wrote about the fiasco a couple years ago. It taught me to stay away from ego clubs. LOL
Comment from Mary Wakeford
Another excellent read, written with all the grit that makes family relationships at times more frustrating than one can imagine.
It is important for woman, especially, to have a few good friends to pull them through, and you have four. Brava.
I especially liked the following passage:
We were all approaching the age of assessment as well as hard-learned wisdom. Some bonds you never hope to break.
Powerful statement and very true!
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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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Another excellent read, written with all the grit that makes family relationships at times more frustrating than one can imagine.
It is important for woman, especially, to have a few good friends to pull them through, and you have four. Brava.
I especially liked the following passage:
We were all approaching the age of assessment as well as hard-learned wisdom. Some bonds you never hope to break.
Powerful statement and very true!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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I liked that line too. Thanks, Mary.
Comment from Jay Squires
A good chapter, Shari. I think what I like about your memoir is your leaving much up to the reader to decide issues. Right down to the last sentence: "I often wonder if all the real-life drama and trauma hastened his loss of memory."
Lee's Cuban wife Gladys decided to "came out." [to "COME out."]
His being shiftless and irresponsible and making no effort toward rehabilitation [I know you mean rehabilitation from drugs, but since you just mentioned his being gay, you might want to clarify that. Or not.]
There is was. Astral thought again [There IT ? was.]
We each had our own mortality and flaws to work on now. [Both "mortality" and "morality" work here. I'm just pointing it out so you can determine which one you wanted.]
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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A good chapter, Shari. I think what I like about your memoir is your leaving much up to the reader to decide issues. Right down to the last sentence: "I often wonder if all the real-life drama and trauma hastened his loss of memory."
Lee's Cuban wife Gladys decided to "came out." [to "COME out."]
His being shiftless and irresponsible and making no effort toward rehabilitation [I know you mean rehabilitation from drugs, but since you just mentioned his being gay, you might want to clarify that. Or not.]
There is was. Astral thought again [There IT ? was.]
We each had our own mortality and flaws to work on now. [Both "mortality" and "morality" work here. I'm just pointing it out so you can determine which one you wanted.]
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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I went back and shortened this by 400 words, leaving out the section on Lee and David. I felt as if I were straying from the main point. Thanks for catching the typos. I like the suggestion of morality, but I do think mortality is the one I wanted.
