Comment from Pam (respa)

Excellent

-Nice photo and wonderful dedication to Brooke.
-As far as formatting, the last line only has 4 syllables.
-Very good first line.
-It has a good message.
-The second line is pretty good, but I don't know if you could take out some of the small words and make it more vivid:
*Example: as the bright sun made it grow
*Just a suggestion.
-Good message in last line, but as indicated does not have the correct number of syllables.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week. Just changed it.

reply by Pam (respa) on 28-Jun-2016

You are welcome for the review. The picture and background look brighter, but I didn't see any change in the second line of the poem. Didn't know if you intended change there or not.

Comment from dmt1967

Excellent

I like the picture and the yellow background colour as well. The poem was short and sweet but said everything it needed to say. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing. Well done.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week.

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

This is a fine entry for the contest
The syllables are off in line three (only 4)
5-7-4 will not meet the prompt requirement
Nice correlation between flower and sun
Excellent picture to match
Add one syllable and it will be fine
Prompt says no author notes, but I think the photo info is okay
Good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week.

Comment from RiseRutland

Good

Sunflowers really are one of the happiest flowers.

I fear that your entry might be disqualified as there are only four syllables in the last line.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week. I just changed it.

Comment from VictoriaJoyce

Good

I think I am getting the 'hang' of the types of poems. I liked the subject. Flow was nice. However, last line is only four syllables? Perhaps "with the help of God" would work?

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week. I just changed it.

Comment from Teri7

Exceptional

I truly love sunflowers. I think you picked very beautiful artwork for this great 5-7-5 poem you have penned. You used very good wording. Teri

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week. Thanks for the lovely six, really appreciated.

Comment from chcbeck

Excellent

A great flower to pick for a 5-7-5. You capture what it symbolizes well. The last line I only count 4 syllables. Great contest entry idea. Good luck with the contest, thanks for brightening my day.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week. Thanks, just changed it.

Comment from Zue65

Excellent

I have been reviewing different variants of 5-7-5 and I am loving every type and every kind posted in this site. Your poem is one such kind, and thanks for bringing sunshine to us through the sun flower. All the best.

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 Comment Written 27-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week.

Comment from Hayley Solomon

Average

Lovely sentiment, beautiful flowers. (My favourite!) Unfortunately this poem is missing a syllable in the last line. (Only 4 instead of 5) It is also ungrammatical structurally in the last two lines. There should not be a 'to' (although I understand you needed the syllable.) A sentence should never begin with 'and.' Good effort, though, keep writing!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016

Thanks for your kind review, Ine. Have a great week.