Reveille
Diary Fiction-6-19 Potlatch Challenge27 total reviews
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
OMG and I talked to a homeless man just the other day when I stopped and gave him a sack of grocerys...I do this dumb thing every week on pay day...and I heard the same thing...language and all.
You captured reality
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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OMG and I talked to a homeless man just the other day when I stopped and gave him a sack of grocerys...I do this dumb thing every week on pay day...and I heard the same thing...language and all.
You captured reality
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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It's not dumb. I buy 'em a bottle if they want one. Why not. I'd want a drink too if I were them. Yeah, I can walk out the door and get all the realistic dialogue I want unfortunately. It's a damn shame. mikey
Comment from nordicgirl
It`s the sane at County General down here, well, you know full well. It is criminal what happens to the homeless. I`m guessing that was Private Jones last entry. There`s no damn chill on hundred degree days in So. Cal. Great work, Michael. NG
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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It`s the sane at County General down here, well, you know full well. It is criminal what happens to the homeless. I`m guessing that was Private Jones last entry. There`s no damn chill on hundred degree days in So. Cal. Great work, Michael. NG
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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I don't know, I think A.V. Hospital here is worse than County. They sent one of my suicidal clients out on the streets and didn't even call me. It's a wonder he didn't kill himself. That's why he was brought in. "Oh, well, he looked okay." Christ. Idiots. Of course they hate the sight of me. LOL I can hear them sigh when they see me.
THANK YOU! You got the ending. I think I need to make it a bit more obvious though. You live in So Cal so you know there's no chill in the summer. Thanks dear, michael
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi Mikey,
this is good. your description of the cancer is awesomely awful. I think this is so good. I like the character, and his history. you have managed to fit so much in.
A great read.
Brenda:))x
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Hi Mikey,
this is good. your description of the cancer is awesomely awful. I think this is so good. I like the character, and his history. you have managed to fit so much in.
A great read.
Brenda:))x
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Hi Lady Brenda Of Bickers Manner,
So pleased you enjoyed. A sad topic, but I tried to keep it real. Thanks a bunch. mikey :))xxo
Comment from Gloria ....
Oh lovely, so you get thrown out on the streets of Lancaster. I guess it could be worse. You could be on your death bed. Oh wait a minute, you are.
It's rather interesting how we picked the same days eh? The Vulcan mind meld in action. YeeeeeEEEEEEEEsssss.
Boy, Larry sure swiped the good vodka, eh? Yeeeeesh.
Great job with this. I struggled at first because I kept wanting to tell instead of show. You did a wonderful job with showing and this dying man is feisty right to the end.
Great job with an interesting topic.
Gloria
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Oh lovely, so you get thrown out on the streets of Lancaster. I guess it could be worse. You could be on your death bed. Oh wait a minute, you are.
It's rather interesting how we picked the same days eh? The Vulcan mind meld in action. YeeeeeEEEEEEEEsssss.
Boy, Larry sure swiped the good vodka, eh? Yeeeeesh.
Great job with this. I struggled at first because I kept wanting to tell instead of show. You did a wonderful job with showing and this dying man is feisty right to the end.
Great job with an interesting topic.
Gloria
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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I can walk from my house right to some of these guys. It's a national disgrace and this country is the worst in the world. Yep, the good vodka. I always went for volume. After a couple shots it doesn't matter. I screwed up the end a little by being too subtle. It was supposed to be more clear that it was his LAST entry, but I didn't play it up enough about it being cold in the middle of the summer in the desert. Maybe I'll fix it later. Your piece was stellar, so whatever struggles you endured were certainly worth it. Thanks a bunch, mikey
Comment from Cindy Warren
What an awful way to treat someone. In Canada we have a problem with the homeless clogging up the hospitals every winter. Unfortunately they're back on the street as soon as they're well enough, but nobody like Private Jones would be kicked out.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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What an awful way to treat someone. In Canada we have a problem with the homeless clogging up the hospitals every winter. Unfortunately they're back on the street as soon as they're well enough, but nobody like Private Jones would be kicked out.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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It's a terrible shameful thing they way we treat our veterans and we're the worst in the world. Why, I don't know. I can walk out my door and find Veterans living on the streets in my city. And there's too many for me to make a difference. Frustrating. Thanks, Cindy. mikey
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Mikey,
I don't know if it's intentional but the formatting in the first entry looks a little off, new lines mid-sentence. Doesn't seem to be an issue in the other two though.
I can imagine it inside me like weevils, man, eating me - that's a great little observation.
Excellent rising to the challenge. I love the transition from railing at the start to the clarity at the end. Almost as if it's blessed relief.
Nice one - fast too...
G
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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Hi Mikey,
I don't know if it's intentional but the formatting in the first entry looks a little off, new lines mid-sentence. Doesn't seem to be an issue in the other two though.
I can imagine it inside me like weevils, man, eating me - that's a great little observation.
Excellent rising to the challenge. I love the transition from railing at the start to the clarity at the end. Almost as if it's blessed relief.
Nice one - fast too...
G
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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I don't know why it went haywire. It took me an hour to fix. Evil Eddie. It hasn't happened since I first started. Jeesh.
Glad you liked this. Awesome topic and I'm sure you've noticed the great pieces. Loved this format. For sure keeping this in the arsenal. Thanks so much. You had me worried when you were late. LOL My mind was blank and I thought I'd have to come up with a topic. HAHAHA! "Ants". mikey
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
Mikey, this is a great Potlatch entry! I was so engrossed in the content and trying to figure out where you were going with it, when my husband entered the computer room, I nearly jumped out of my chair. Good job on this one. Enjoyed very much. God bless and hugs, Susanne
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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Mikey, this is a great Potlatch entry! I was so engrossed in the content and trying to figure out where you were going with it, when my husband entered the computer room, I nearly jumped out of my chair. Good job on this one. Enjoyed very much. God bless and hugs, Susanne
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Hi, Susanne
Wow, made ya jump, huh? Now, that's a great reaction. LOL
I'm so pleased you enjoyed. This is really a fun way to write. A little scary, but still fun. Thanks for a great review. mikey
